Philipino pride.

[Old55]

34 minutes ago, Cola Cubes said:

A Family Culture?  Not at all.   A family culture would be one where everyone tries to carry the collective weight of the family, to the best of their ability. 

What the PH has is a toxic, abusive, parasitic "family culture", where the income earner is strongly obligated to support the useless.   The "family culture" here is a weapon to be used by the parasitic to enable them to feed off the bread winner.  It is utterly shameful.

Over the years I have tried to encourage staff to "drop" the family parasites that feed off them.  To no avail of course.  The societal pressures upon them are too strong. The emotional blackmail they are subjected to is sickening.

 

 

What you describe is not the norm. 

[Lee]

2 hours ago, Old55 said:

What you describe is not the norm. 

Unfortunately what CC describes is certainly my wifes family norm for the almost the 40 years that I've known them.

The kids grow up and act the same way as their parents did---it's generational IMO.

[hk blues]

2 hours ago, Old55 said:

What you describe is not the norm. 

Whilst I'd say it was an extreme view and not necessarily representative of all, or even many, families there is a fair degree of truth in it to some extent in many families.  For me, it is not an environment where it's a mutually beneficial and warms the very cockles of the hearts of all in the family unit.  Far from it.

[Tommy T.]

On 10/18/2023 at 4:56 AM, manofthecoldland said:

From  the age of 20 till 48 I lived and worked with the Inuit, took courses in cultural and language, and I realized that other groups do NOT necessarily think or view the world like westerners, and it is important to attempt to understand how they perceive things, often quite differently. They are rational oftentimes, given their situations and lifestyles, when we are blind to it.

For what its worth. When you live cross-culturally, its perilous not to consider their operational frameworks.

I have read several books by Farley Mowat regarding his life amongst the Inuit and in super rural Canada, and so much time in the arctic. Very educational. So do you now eat just lean meat and fat or veggies now too? Being Canadian, it was special and very educational for me.... It also helped prep me for sailing to remote parts of the Pacific Ocean and experience other cultures....

Edited October 19, 2023 by Tommy T.

[Old55]

24 minutes ago, hk blues said:

Whilst I'd say it was an extreme view and not necessarily representative of all, or even many, families there is a fair degree of truth in it to some extent in many families.  For me, it is not an environment where it's a mutually beneficial and warms the very cockles of the hearts of all in the family unit.  Far from it.

I share your view HK. 

[Kingpin]

6 hours ago, Cola Cubes said:

I have tried to encourage staff to "drop" the family parasites that feed off them.  To no avail of course. 

Of course, because they're family, and family is everything here. Supporting a child so that he becomes the breadwinner and eventually supports the larger family, is their family culture. The upper class too, it's all inherited wealth that goes back through generations of family.

There is a solution though for Westerners like us who don't want to play that game, and that solution is find a partner with little to no family.

[manofthecoldland]

3 hours ago, Tommy T. said:

I have read several books by Farley Mowat regarding his life amongst the Inuit and in super rural Canada, and so much time in the arctic. Very educational. So do you now eat just lean meat and fat or veggies now too? Being Canadian, it was special and very educational for me.... It also helped prep me for sailing to remote parts of the Pacific Ocean and experience other cultures....

Thanks for inquiring, Tommy. I am at, and live now at 65*N from May to Nov., and on Panay for the other 5.5 months each year. Mixed diet is still important, no matter where on the earth you live (proteins, fats, carbs), When living north of the Yukon, the game laws are different since few people, so when living at 67*N, our mainstays were caribou, moose, salmon, trout and siifish along with potatos, rice and store veggies instead of tundra greens stored in seal oil pokes and berries, like in the old days.

My now 72 yr old Innuit wife, who I assist when here, still likes to bake bread from flour, but for myself living separately, I buy discounted day old bread and other basic foods at low prices.

Mowat wrote about the inland caribou people of the central Canadian arctic. Here , we have two overlapping Inuit lifestyles...people of the sea (coastal primarily) and people of the land (upriver) who traditionally would trade resources. Sea mammal culture and land mammal  cultures. Everyone needs and values fat. Fall caribou pack in on the rump, and seals, whales, under the skin to insulate, etc. A real treat is akkutuk (sp?) made from whipped fat, blue or salmon berries and some white man's sugar now added.

Modern diets, of course, have changed these things to a high degree, but us elders still enjoy the old, native food traditions.

[Cola Cubes]

3 hours ago, Kingpin said:

Of course, because they're family, and family is everything here. Supporting a child so that he becomes the breadwinner and eventually supports the larger family, is their family culture. The upper class too, it's all inherited wealth that goes back through generations of family.

There is a solution though for Westerners like us who don't want to play that game, and that solution is find a partner with little to no family.

A child?    I am talking about grown adults.   It is  quite an ugly aspect of the culture beneath the veneer.   

[Cola Cubes]

9 hours ago, Old55 said:

What you describe is not the norm. 

My experience is primarily with the poor.  Other strata of society may be different. 

[Old55]

3 hours ago, Cola Cubes said:

My experience is primarily with the poor.  Other strata of society may be different. 

I completely agree CC. In poor parents case ‘Utang na loob’ would be much more prevalent even typical.