Risks of dating or living with a woman with children in The Philippines

[craftbeerlover]

10 hours ago, Rooster said:

Read the law. Consult an Attorney if you are unable to comprehend the law.

You had to turn it into being a dick huh

[fillipino_wannabe]

13 hours ago, craftbeerlover said:

Can you share the news article?   I have lived here for a long time and have never heard anything like this happening (doesnt mean it hasnt happened).   Wondering if there is more to the story than, for example, "give children a ride to church".  

If it's the same old guy I'm thinking of in Bohol with a youtube channel then it's probably a good thing the police warned him. He wasn't just taking a few kids to church, he loads them up in his jeepney and uses them to make content for his 'poverty porn' youtube channel.

[Rooster]

13 hours ago, craftbeerlover said:

You had to turn it into being a dick huh

The law was provided to make other expats aware of the law so morons like you would not end up in prison.  

If you seek proof that the law is being enforced or you can not intelligently comprehend the law then consult an attorney or do your own research on how it was applied to morons who failed to adhere to it.

Helping other Expats is not being a dick. Your name calling and trolling toward one trying to help other expats is who is the dick.

 

[craftbeerlover]

34 minutes ago, Rooster said:

The law was provided to make other expats aware of the law so morons like you would not end up in prison.  

If you seek proof that the law is being enforced or you can not intelligently comprehend the law then consult an attorney or do your own research on how it was applied to morons who failed to adhere to it.

Helping other Expats is not being a dick. Your name calling and trolling toward one trying to help other expats is who is the dick.

 

Insinuating I cannot comprehend what you write, is being a dick.  Citing this law to your GF that wants to see her son is also being a dick.  Good luck to her

[OnMyWay]

14 minutes ago, Rooster said:

The law was provided to make other expats aware of the law so morons like you would not end up in prison.  

If you seek proof that the law is being enforced or you can not intelligently comprehend the law then consult an attorney or do your own research on how it was applied to morons who failed to adhere to it.

Helping other Expats is not being a dick. Your name calling and trolling toward one trying to help other expats is who is the dick.

 

Actually, I see it like this.  You started the topic (which has been discussed here in the past, probably many times) and in your post you made it seem like this is a super dangerous situation where risk of arrest was very high.  You mentioned some stories and Craft politely asked if you could share the stories.  You did not.  Instead, you gave the law again and said "Read the law. Consult an Attorney if you are unable to comprehend the law. ", which is a bit insulting to an intelligent person.

Like almost all laws in the Philippines, enforcement is the key.  There are many stupid laws here.

One case, from 2018, has been brought up, and he was innocent.  Certainly he might have put himself in a bad position, but he was with adults related to the kids, and the family immediately defended him, so that case seemed to be more of a shakedown.  We are subject to shakedowns here in the Philippines for many things and that one got him.

"I have seen on the news and have read where Foreigners get arrested at bus stops for being with a child who is not theirs. Videos of PNP warning one Foreigner that he could no longer give children a ride to church or be in their presence. There are other examples as well.".

So again, where are the recent cases?  The PNP videos?

In 2011 when I met my wife, I knew of the law and looked into it.  I decided the risk was small and I lived with my wife and her daughter for 6 months before we moved to SBFZ where I think the risk is lower because of the demographics here.  I have never regretted that decision.  I did not want to marry a sweet young thing who was childless.  Maybe that is the right thing for some but certainly has risks too.  I considered an "older" educated woman, with a good job, with a child, to be more stable and a good fit for me.  We have been together 12 years now.

I try to keep a low profile here.  No matter what the situation is here, that is my best advice to stay out of trouble.

[Rooster]

30 minutes ago, craftbeerlover said:

Insinuating I cannot comprehend what you write, is being a dick.  Citing this law to your GF that wants to see her son is also being a dick.  Good luck to her

You once again displayed your inability to comprehend.   It was not me who posted about not wanting his GF to see her son.

Edited February 3 by Rooster

[craftbeerlover]

44 minutes ago, Rooster said:

You once again displayed your inability to comprehend.   It was not me who posted about not wanting his GF to see her son.

ok touche dude

[Jack Peterson]

 I only ever had a problem ONCE, my 8 year old Step Daughter and I were having cake and Coffee at Bo's in Robinsons, waiting for a friend. a Police woman and a Sergeant came to us and asked me what is your relationship with this child, My Step Daughter put and end to this by saying to me are we in Trouble Daddy; end of problem 

[OnMyWay]

On 1/31/2024 at 8:42 AM, Rooster said:

If you are dating or living with a woman who has a child, there will be times when one is alone with that child such as if the mother goes to the market or to run errands. If the child is not related to you then you are breaking Philippine Law and risk arrest.

Just to add a few things for those who might be involved with a mom with a child, or thinking about it.

1.  Develop the relationship with the mom and make sure it can it will be a good one, before meeting the kid.

2.  If you are not in it for the long run, and for marriage, forget about it.  It is very cruel to the child and the mother to develop a close relationship and walk away.  Heartless.  If your goal is to score as much as possible, leave moms and children out of it.

3.  As I mentioned above, just be careful about it.  Avoid being alone with the kids.  Most things can be done together.  Consider hiring an adult nanny for the kid, if it will be a long time before you can marry.

4.  Seems like the cases I can remember, like the Belgium, involve doing doing activities with groups of kids.  No reason to do this.  Don't set yourself up for extortion or unwarranted arrest.  KEEP A LOW PROFILE!

5.  When you go out with the kid, the mother should be with you.

[hk blues]

3 hours ago, OnMyWay said:

Just to add a few things for those who might be involved with a mom with a child, or thinking about it.

1.  Develop the relationship with the mom and make sure it can it will be a good one, before meeting the kid.

2.  If you are not in it for the long run, and for marriage, forget about it.  It is very cruel to the child and the mother to develop a close relationship and walk away.  Heartless.  If your goal is to score as much as possible, leave moms and children out of it.

3.  As I mentioned above, just be careful about it.  Avoid being alone with the kids.  Most things can be done together.  Consider hiring an adult nanny for the kid, if it will be a long time before you can marry.

4.  Seems like the cases I can remember, like the Belgium, involve doing doing activities with groups of kids.  No reason to do this.  Don't set yourself up for extortion or unwarranted arrest.  KEEP A LOW PROFILE!

5.  When you go out with the kid, the mother should be with you.

Common sense and good advice all rolled into one.

Personally, I'd instinctively not be comfortable in the sole company of a child I don't know very well and thus cannot help but be suspicious of those who choose to.  Goes without saying that there are some people whose job requires it but otherwise, nope.

I taught English in Hong Kong and had kids from 3-18 as students, often 1-1 classes.  I always ensured that those lessons took place in the 'main drag' of the school and kept the door open at all times despite occasional requests from parents and other tutors and students to keep class doors closed.