Miracles still happens

[Lee]

37 minutes ago, hk blues said:

F**k that! 

That's what we said. 

One of my pet peeves is the family members inability to simply say thanks for what they do get from us.

 

24 minutes ago, stevewool said:

he’s never helped the family at all

The wife's oldest sibling graduated from HS and went to AC back in the late 60's and made pretty good coin. He never sent a dime home to help his siblings who were all just kids. Wife was jerked out of school in the 5th grade to help out just before martial law hit but the 30 pesos a month she earned working in Manila sweatshops didn't go far to take care of 5 younger siblings.

[hk blues]

1 minute ago, JJReyes said:

Viking, you are probably considered the patriarch of the family if you have P50,000 to loan.  The correct response, culturally, is to refuse repayment if the reason for the loan is noble, such as education or medical.  On the issue of small dole-outs to the extended family, one solution is to give the spouse a monthly fix amount like P5,000 or P10,000.  Once this sum is gone, everyone has to wait until the following month.  Make sure everyone understands the rule.  No advances nor exceeding the monthly budget.

Thereby perpetuating the hand-out culture.  

[Viking]

2 hours ago, Jack Peterson said:

 Providing it had been Notarized My Lawyer tells me it would be valid and enforceable, ( I just Rang here to be able to answer this)

It wasn't notarized, but good information if needed in the future 👍

[JJReyes]

4 minutes ago, hk blues said:

Thereby perpetuating the hand-out culture.  

The West emphasizes individualism.  In the East, you are part of a village or group.  Since you have more money (resources), the implied responsibility is to share it.  Yes, it is a hand-out culture until you are suddenly the person in need.  The example is suffering a stroke and assistance is needed for daily requirements.  The group will find a nephew or niece to help you.  There might be a small allowance or compensation, but the amount is not anywhere close to the value of the service.  It is understood as a reciprocal obligation.  

[Viking]

1 hour ago, stevewool said:

That was a nice surprise for you , it’s good when things turn out right  but in my experience it’s hard work trying to get back what was promised from the start , that’s why I just say no nearly all the time , the last time we was asked for a big amount of money I asked what was it for and there reply was it’s got nothing to do with me , and on that answer it was a get lost then , I’m sure Emma gives little amounts to those who ask it’s when it becomes a large amount that’s when I’m asked by Emma then she can tell them it’s me who says no rather then her saying it 

It was indeed!

I usually say no to giving loans to people because I know from experience that it's very unlikely to get it back.

However, this was for helping out with finishing their house so that they could move out from our house!!! It was definitely worth the risk of losing that money so that we could be on our own, hahaha.

It's almost unbelievable that someone's asking for a big amount of money and then reply that it's nothing to do with you, when you asked what it was for. Unfortunately, I am not surprised.

[Jack Peterson]

7 minutes ago, JJReyes said:

It is understood as a reciprocal obligation.  

 In the philippines to a foreigner

[Viking]

1 hour ago, hk blues said:

 

Would any of us actually enforce such an agreement amongst family members, though?  At best, it may make repayment more likely but otherwise I'm not sure.  

I wouldn't for this amount, but I was feeling that it would be harder to "forget" if we had the deal in writing. And in this case it worked!

[Jack Peterson]

A Lot of this is of our own Making, ( me included once) we come we spend we make ourselves appear super rich in a lot of cases, we build costly, New cars and flashing cash about ( well so I have heard of) Then we Bitch about those locals tha move in for a slice of the cake 

[Viking]

1 hour ago, Lee said:

As the oldest brother told us a few years back (he's in his 70's now) that we are "obligated" to take care of the family and that they should never have to ever ask for money in the first place. 

A monthly stipend for each of sibling is what he had in mind.

That would be really convenient for them, wouldn't it, lol.

My reply to such demands would be, keep on dreaming my friend, because it won't happen!

[Lee]

34 minutes ago, JJReyes said:

Yes, it is a hand-out culture until you are suddenly the person in need.  The example is suffering a stroke and assistance is needed for daily requirements.  The group will find a nephew or niece to help you.

This hasn't been our experience.

Family members typically can't even help themselves so they are certainly not going to help us or anyone else.

In the months before each of my wife's parents passed, she had to to leave her job in the US to nurse them to the end.

The family---some of them lived in the same house as their parents and all but 2 of them lived in the same barrio--didn't want to fool with the 1 AM feedings, adult diaper changes, or bathing that the elderly require.

They simply didn't care. If they didn't care about their own parents then they simply aren't going to care about us.