Pinay moving back to the Philippines

[Mike J]

On 3/12/2024 at 8:05 PM, Viking said:

I am curious to know how other pinays adjusted to moving back to the Philippines after living many years abroad.

Me and my wife (pinay) was planning to live part time in the Philippines but to be honest, it feels like she isn't enjoying it much. Lots of complaints about the heat, traffic, inefficiency, lack of logic, laziness, trash, noise, bad smell and other stuff. She lived abroad for almost 40 years and in many ways it's a different country now. I actually think that I like it much better than she does.

Is this something you experienced or did your wife love to be back in their country of birth?

My wife lived in the USA for 8 years prior to my retirement and move here.  She used to often speak of missing the USA and  how she might move back after I die.  She spent 6 weeks in the USA several months back and was "surprised how much things have changed".  This was her second extended visit in 10 years.  The increased cost of food, shelter, etc. in the USA was part of the shock.  She still complains about things here in the Philippines but much of those complaints center on issues with extended family.  She is now leaning more toward moving to a different island as opposed to moving back to the USA.    So the trip back to the USA was good for her, in that it showed her the potential negatives that come with time and change no matter where we live.  

[Viking]

4 hours ago, Mike J said:

My wife lived in the USA for 8 years prior to my retirement and move here.  She used to often speak of missing the USA and  how she might move back after I die.  She spent 6 weeks in the USA several months back and was "surprised how much things have changed".  This was her second extended visit in 10 years.  The increased cost of food, shelter, etc. in the USA was part of the shock.  She still complains about things here in the Philippines but much of those complaints center on issues with extended family.  She is now leaning more toward moving to a different island as opposed to moving back to the USA.    So the trip back to the USA was good for her, in that it showed her the potential negatives that come with time and change no matter where we live.  

Yes, every place change when time goes by. My wife stayed almost 40 years abroad and its obviously a different country now. We have made yearly trips back for vacation but it is different when "living" there and you need to deal with the daily hassle. One of my biggest complaints is the lack of will to improve. If you suggest a better way to do things the usual reply is, we have always done it this way or, if you don't like it, go home to your own place. I actually find that pretty annoying and sad at the same time. First step to improvement is to acknowledge that there is a problem. They don't want to do this, even if it would benefit everyone, not least themselves. I don't know if it's about pride or what, but it actually make me a bit depressed when thinking of the future of the Philippines.

[Old55]

On 3/12/2024 at 11:18 PM, craftbeerlover said:

almost all the Filipinos I have known that moved to the US, do not want to come back.  As a matter of fact, I would say 100 percent.  They LOVE to go back on vacation, but that is where it ends. 

We find this to be true with the vast majority of our Filipina friends here in the US.

My wifes sister living in Canada recently got Canadian citizenship. In the past she defended Philippines in all things and said she would retire to Cebu. Recently this has changed and she plans on remaining in Canada once she retires.

Edited March 14 by Old55

[stevewool]

19 hours ago, Viking said:

My wife was like Emma for the first 20 years. It didn't change until her parents were gone, after that she started to admit the downsides with her home country and the culture.

She probably like England pretty good 👍

Did not think of it like this , Emma still has her dad around and I know she sends money to help him out , when the rest ask for a hand out she seems to involve me then , so once the dad is no more maybe her ties to the Philippines may be broken then 

[Viking]

4 hours ago, stevewool said:

Did not think of it like this , Emma still has her dad around and I know she sends money to help him out , when the rest ask for a hand out she seems to involve me then , so once the dad is no more maybe her ties to the Philippines may be broken then 

All I can say is that my wife got a lot less "defensive" to criticism of the Philippines after her parents were gone. Maybe Emma will be the same, maybe not?

[Mike J]

9 hours ago, Viking said:

All I can say is that my wife got a lot less "defensive" to criticism of the Philippines after her parents were gone. Maybe Emma will be the same, maybe not?

Maybe yes, maybe no.  Actually it might even get worse.  We provided virtually 100% of the care and support for my wife's parents for ten years.  I have no regrets for doing so.  They were good folks and appreciated what we were doing.  I knew prior to marriage that I would be the one to take care of them financially as the other siblings were quite poor.  Papa passed away about 2 1/2 years ago, mama passed about 11 months ago.  Mama was hardly cold in the ground when extended family started asking for money "because you no longer have to care for mama".  

[Viking]

3 hours ago, Mike J said:

Maybe yes, maybe no.  Actually it might even get worse.  We provided virtually 100% of the care and support for my wife's parents for ten years.  I have no regrets for doing so.  They were good folks and appreciated what we were doing.  I knew prior to marriage that I would be the one to take care of them financially as the other siblings were quite poor.  Papa passed away about 2 1/2 years ago, mama passed about 11 months ago.  Mama was hardly cold in the ground when extended family started asking for money "because you no longer have to care for mama".  

That's very similar to how our situation were. My wife supported her father until he passed away. Her siblings are not rich but they sure could have helped a little bit, but no one cared because they thought it was more convenient for them if ate did it. One of the brothers even lived with his family together with tatay. My wife sent support to her father but needless to say, the brother got a free ride on that support. When tatay passed away he had obviously saved quite a lot of money, because he then built a decent house to themselves. But when asked to provide for bills and food earlier he had no money!

My wife also got the question who she would support now when tatay was gone? It really pissed her off, that they just took it for granted that it was now time for someone else to get a free ride! Walang hiya ka!

[hk blues]

I've taken a very firm stance on this and my wife has not opposed it.  My wife spent 16 years in Hong Kong providing for the whole family back here and when we got together and subsequently married she gave up work, of course.  At that time she told the family that her days of supporting them were over.  I have no idea how this went down but since then there has been no support.  The only time it cropped up was when one of my BILs commented that the house was not quite finished due to my wife withdrawing funds - I immediately responded by saying they should appreciate everything she did to get it to that stage and now it's over to one of them to pick up the baton.  Not surprisingly, not much has been done since then. 

The test will come when the mother passes away as the current 'sponsors' may feel less inclined to support their siblings.  I'm brutal on this - I'm not working x hours a day, x days a week in order to give pocket money to 3 siblings who don't work.  No Siree, ain't happening! 

[stevewool]

Families hey , I’m sure there are many many other stories to be told about our outlaws , ups in-laws I ment to say