Do you really want to be in the Philippines?

[Georgebob]

5 hours ago, Dave Hounddriver said:

I enjoyed Dumaguete when I lived there.  I was single there, then in a relationship there, then single there, then in a relationship there, then gone.  I am happy wherever I live.  I heard it said more than once: "Are you happy living where you are now?  No?  Then you won't be happy living in the Philippines".  (And vice versa).

Depending where you live NOW 

I would say Alice Springs 

[craftbeerlover]

7 hours ago, Georgebob said:

It's a strange question,but necessary!

I have read countless negative posts on here with mainly healthcare topics etc 

Truthfully,I think some expats live in the Philippines because their partners do and not necessarily because they actually want to.

Would I be correct .

Or do you know any expats who fit into that category?

I did read a comment on here where the poster said if he could take his Filipina partner to live in Thailand it would be a "perfect world"

It's sad in a way to be living somewhere that you don't wish to be all for a sake of keeping a relationship.

And this has made me rethink my relationship,do I want to retire to somewhere I may not like everyday just to be with my partner.

 a big No for so many reasons.  Choose between my family and moving away, easy decision, I 'obviously' choose my family with no regrets.  If I could I would pack us all up and move to the US.   I miss the openness, the variety, clean parks/attractions, food, FISHING, education system (for my son obviously) etc.   Call me spoiled but I kind of like electricity, hot water, Air Con, unpolluted rivers, no trash at even the most touted attractions, decent beer selection and the list goes on and on.   I believe HK Blues stated something along the lines of, do not misread my 'complaints', I am happy here (mostly because of my relationship/family, but if I could move us away, I would without hesitation.  

[craftbeerlover]

6 hours ago, Lee said:

IMO, most of what you list simply isn't accurate. Family values being on your list is a head scratcher to me.

I have been married to an attractive Filipina for over 40 years so I certainly don't need another one.

I don't encounter many locals that WILL speak English above even the most rudimentary of levels. Some understand some English but they certainly won't speak it unless absolutely forced to. YMMV

I couldnt agree more.  I have been part of the Filipino culture for well over 30 years and I dont find the family values here being heads and tails above any other place I have been, quite the contrary.   Family Values, along with "Filipino Pride" are nothing more than empty slogans to me (generalizing of course).  As far as English goes, the upper middle class and higher are mostly proficient in English (or of course malls banks etc.) but what about the other 96 percent of the population?   The phrase "nose bleed" however, is spoken quite proficiently.  

[craftbeerlover]

3 hours ago, hk blues said:

I'm like perhaps many here, I'm only here because of my wife.  If she wasn't here I wouldn't be either.

However, my comment shouldn't be interpreted to suggest I'm not happy living here, I am.  But, the determining point is my wife. Why specifically would I choose the Philippines over another place, I can't imagine.  

My sentiments exactly

[MikeyD]

I think I am still in my adjustment phase but at this point, if my wife weren't here or if she just decided she didn't want to be with me anymore then I would leave in a heartbeat and go back to the US.  Even though I would live a much less comfortable lifestyle I wouldn't need to deal with the tediousness of living here.  Traffic, parking, having to pay for many things in cash, most people wanting a handout, being a walking ATM for family and friends are not my favorite things.  I have gotten by on English only so far but I suspect many of the locals that seem not to speak much English actually do but their hesitancy could be understandable if they are not comfortable with the language.  I have limited experience with family values but have found that most people just want a "loan" (aka gift of cash money) since they perceive we have more than them.  I actually like the weather so far and the biggest plus for me is the cost of living but if I had known the actual reality of living here I probably would have made a different decision on where to move when I retired.  As far as YouTube vloggers go, I think the vast majority sugar coat how things are here.  Just my 2 cents worth.

[hk blues]

1 hour ago, MikeyD said:

I think I am still in my adjustment phase but at this point, if my wife weren't here or if she just decided she didn't want to be with me anymore then I would leave in a heartbeat and go back to the US.  Even though I would live a much less comfortable lifestyle I wouldn't need to deal with the tediousness of living here.  Traffic, parking, having to pay for many things in cash, most people wanting a handout, being a walking ATM for family and friends are not my favorite things.  I have gotten by on English only so far but I suspect many of the locals that seem not to speak much English actually do but their hesitancy could be understandable if they are not comfortable with the language.  I have limited experience with family values but have found that most people just want a "loan" (aka gift of cash money) since they perceive we have more than them.  I actually like the weather so far and the biggest plus for me is the cost of living but if I had known the actual reality of living here I probably would have made a different decision on where to move when I retired.  As far as YouTube vloggers go, I think the vast majority sugar coat how things are here.  Just my 2 cents worth.

I hear you but the bit I struggle with is the "walking ATM" idea.  I've read/heard it frequently enough to believe it's true but I firmly believe this is something you can control.  I made a point of ensuring a line was drawn in the sand when I first arrived and there were no handouts or displays of financial generosity that set expectations for the future.  Possibly the fact my wife was/is onboard with this helps A LOT as I don't get any pressure from her in any way.

To add, I have paid a relatively significant medical bill for the MIL (with no expectation it will be paid back but also no statement from me it's a gift - if and when they can pay it back they will or won't) - this "loan/gift" was totally at my insistence and greatly appreciated.  I also lent my BIL a small amount and it was repaid - 50% quickly and the other 50% after prompting by me (again, part of my strategy to make sure we all know where we stand on money matters as I didn't need the balance but...).  I helped my SIl with cash flow one time and it was repaid end of the month on payday as promised.  They are good, honest albeit poor people. 

 

[jimeve]

England, damp weather, drug gangs waiting to mug you, expensive booze and cigs though I don't smoke, expensive going out to restaurants. I could go on.

I think I'v answered your question. First came to Dumaguete in 2001 bought a lot and built a house over some years. Yes some stuff I hate here but take it as it is.

The only gripe I have living here is the medical care. It's free in Britain (NHS). Like some others said,  I could nip back for free hospital care, illegal but who knows.

[Gutenberg]

YES! I want to be!

[Gutenberg]

10 hours ago, Georgebob said:

I was just watching a Duamagette YouTuber who said 90%, yes that high,  of foreigners who went to Duamagette to check it out with a view of staying , didn't like it .

 

I removed Dumaguete also already from my list of a prolonged stays after watching several 'Walking videos'. The couple of those Youtubers praising it, though, but they just went for a 2 day trip or whatever. It feels like a dead version of Chiang Mai for 70+ crowd. Just liking it because of the nice 'sea boulevard' isn't enough.

[Guy F.]

I wouldn't want to live in the Philippines full time. Six or seven months at a stretch would be all I want. The inefficiency, corruption and so on in the Phils would get to me excessively after a while. The place where I live in the US is hard to beat from May through October.