Annoying behaviour

[scott h]

57 minutes ago, Lee said:

my wifes family

 

55 minutes ago, Mike J said:

my extended Filipino family

When I read some of the horror stories involving in-laws I knock on wood  that my wife comes from a smallish successful family where 1 brother is in the US as well as all of her 1st cousins. Though our home is used as a base of operations when they return for "home" visits. Which I don't mind since they always pay their own way and bring us "pasalubong" from the states. 

But this reminds me of our recent member who was looking to find a "bride" in 60 days, and the warnings (which he took umbrage too) about the hazards of marrying into the Filipino family. You don't marry the girl; you marry the clan!

But then again, I do not know if I would have heeded the advice of older wiser heads 30 years ago either

[spaul]

16 hours ago, Mike J said:

ask to be paid if you ever help

Bingo! There is no sense here of the way we do things in the West. If my brother-in-law (back home) needs help building a fence, you show up and help. Have a nice dinner. Drink some beer afterwards. But here, I guess because I'm the "white guy", I'm supposed to PAY my brother-in-law to help me. Let's see, I've helped you guys how many times and you still want me to pay you? Nope, I'll do it myself thanks or I'll pay someone with the skill set if I can't do it.

Edited August 24 by spaul

[Mike J]

21 hours ago, scott h said:

When I read some of the horror stories involving in-laws I knock on wood  that my wife comes from a smallish successful family where 1 brother is in the US as well as all of her 1st cousins.

I actually do really like, even love, most of my extended family.  The one thing that I just could not get over was how they some seemed to feel they had no responsibility to help Papa and Mama.  I was not expecting them help financially because they did not have much to start with.  What they could have done was show up on weekends to do a bit of work, pull weeds, paint walls, trim shrubs, cook, sweep, mop, etc.  But they expected to be paid to do those things.  The rational being we paid other people to do those chores so "why not pay me/us".   Mama, who suffered from stroke, lived several years after Papa passed.  After she passed, she was hardly cold in the ground when certain members came to the wife and said; "Now that you don't have to pay for Mama's care can you loan, i.e.. give, us money."   The wife was pissed for days and said we should move to another island.

End of minor rant.  As mentioned earlier, I really do like, even love, the majority of my Pinoy family.  Especially true now as they are popping out grand nieces and grand nephews.  

[Viking]

On 8/23/2024 at 11:38 PM, stevewool said:

I think Viking has described many of our wives or partners in what he has said .

No matter how the family treats Emma she still excepts them , on the other hand I don’t have too

My wife used to defend her family 1000%, no matter what reason.

That's certainly not the case anymore. She is now even more suspicious than me about some things they do. 

[Viking]

7 hours ago, Mike J said:

After she passed, she was hardly cold in the ground when certain members came to the wife and said; "Now that you don't have to pay for Mama's care can you loan, i.e.. give, us money."   The wife was pissed for days and said we should move to another island.

We have also experienced this same thing when my FIL passed away.

Also, when one of the children finished school the question came up, who we should help now???

They just don't have any dignity or pride in them!

This is of course just my opinion and I could be wrong, but I doubt it in this case.😂

[craftbeerlover]

On 8/25/2024 at 12:49 PM, Viking said:

pride

"Filipino Pride"