Noise and Cure?

[craftbeerlover]

1 hour ago, Lee said:

We stay away from barangay complaints----it never works out and no doubt creates animosity as has been suggested.

Early on there was a young man that we called "fan boy". He spent hours everyday fanning himself on the street that passes our house. Most of the time he would camp out at the end of our driveway. It was said that he was "special" so his behavior was to be overlooked.

Eventually FB took to hurling large rocks at our house and later attempted to kick his way into the yard through the gate on more than one occasion.

The wife tried to talk to FB but when confronted he would take off down the street. A conversation with FB parents did nothing. Neighbors told us that there was medicine that would help calm FB down but of course this costs money. Money that the parents would rather spend on tubu which helped fuel their 1 AM fights that we all got to listen to (they live behind us) quite often.

One day FB is seen on our CCTV walking down the street carrying a 8X11 framed picture. He stops in front of our house and launches this unusual projectile. The picture flew high up in the air and exploded on our front porch within a couple feet of our door. We gathered up the glass, frame bits, and picture in a bucket and sought out FB dad and the barangay guy.

They watched the video of FBs latest escapade and both came to the same conclusion.

FBs issues were OUR fault. We were simply not being patient enough with the young man they explained. 

Dad did take the picture back and graciously allowed us to take the busted frame and glass back home with us without so much as a hint of an apology.

YMMV in these situations---everywhere is different I'm sure. But no amount of complaining to anyone on any subject has ever bore us any fruit in the past. 

 

Admitting one is wrong is just about forbidden here.   I have my theories as to why, but I will keep that to myself.   My previous wife (filipina), never ever once said sorry or accepted any blame; as the marriage went along this behavior became really baffling to me.  I started to look at the big picture here, and noticed it really is just part of the culture...  very thin skinned etc.. 

[hk blues]

2 minutes ago, craftbeerlover said:

Admitting one is wrong is just about forbidden here.   I have my theories as to why, but I will keep that to myself.   My previous wife (filipina), never ever once said sorry or accepted any blame; as the marriage went along this behavior became really baffling to me.  I started to look at the big picture here, and noticed it really is just part of the culture...  very thin skinned etc.. 

Yep...Filipino Pride is a real thing and, whilst it's no bad thing to have pride in your country, I think Filipino Pride is a little different.  

That said, I have had two minor road accidents and in both cases the other party acknowledged blame with next to no debate.  Then  again, the circumstantial evidence was stacked against them.  One did actually apologise but the other not so much.

[craftbeerlover]

1 hour ago, hk blues said:

Yep...Filipino Pride is a real thing and, whilst it's no bad thing to have pride in your country, I think Filipino Pride is a little different.  

That said, I have had two minor road accidents and in both cases the other party acknowledged blame with next to no debate.  Then  again, the circumstantial evidence was stacked against them.  One did actually apologise but the other not so much.

I had a girl back into my car (damage was done), the mall security police witnessed the incidence.  We agreed to go to a local repair shop and she would pay for the damage (really wasnt much), she was kind and very apologetic.  Her boyfriend or husband showed up; I extended my hand for a handshake, he looked at me as if he wanted to kill me (didnt shake my hand).   He never said a word to me and the only glancing look I received was complete disdain from him.   I was about to tell him what I thought, with a few choice words, but I held back.

[Lee]

6 minutes ago, craftbeerlover said:

He never said a word to me and the only glancing look I received was complete disdain from him.

 Has been my experience that some Filipinos hide their disdain for foreigners better than others.

IMO this attitude borders on racism. I always expect to get the short end of the stick if I get put in these type situations. So I try avoid this when possible.

[hk blues]

1 hour ago, craftbeerlover said:

I had a girl back into my car (damage was done), the mall security police witnessed the incidence.  We agreed to go to a local repair shop and she would pay for the damage (really wasnt much), she was kind and very apologetic.  Her boyfriend or husband showed up; I extended my hand for a handshake, he looked at me as if he wanted to kill me (didnt shake my hand).   He never said a word to me and the only glancing look I received was complete disdain from him.   I was about to tell him what I thought, with a few choice words, but I held back.

Related...as an addendum to my story above, we went to the cop shop to fill out the paperwork and the son appeared and started to question my status in the Philippines i.e. what kind of visa I had, what kind of driving licence I had and so on.  Politely but firmly I suggested he leave the questions to the cops.  I'm pretty sure he had told his parents he'd sort things out and they'd get away with paying nothing - he was very much mistaken.  

Of course, his father had no insurance but the cop was adamant that they pay cash - he was taking no s**t from them. 

[Lee]

49 minutes ago, hk blues said:

I'm pretty sure he had told his parents he'd sort things out and they'd get away with paying nothing

You were most fortunate that this ended how it did.

On another MB, a poster who had lived in Cebu for many years claimed that he had been hit from behind 5 times---mostly when he was stopped at a red light.

He stated that he had to pay damages to whoever hit him from the rear every time.

Edited yesterday at 08:37 AM by Lee

[Tommy T.]

2 hours ago, craftbeerlover said:

I was about to tell him what I thought, with a few choice words, but I held back.

Wise decision. You maybe saved somebody the cost of a .45 bullet?

[MikeyD]

2 hours ago, Lee said:

Has been my experience that some Filipinos hide their disdain for foreigners better than others.

IMO this attitude borders on racism.

Fortunately I haven't encountered any issues as serious as the previous posts but I frequently encounter an attitude of indifference or disrespect from a lot if not most Filipinos except of course when a tip might be involved.  I don't know how many times I have tried to talk to them but get no reaction at all from them like I'm not even there, no facial expression, no verbal reply or anything.  Usually when that happens I ask my wife to convey my message and then they amazingly reply to her immediately to the same thing I was trying to say.  It's not just a language thing, they understood what I said but chose to completely ignore me.  I like being invisible but sometimes it borders on being ridiculous.  I'm still learning the ropes here so maybe one day I will understand this and find a better way to handle it.

[Lee]

 

36 minutes ago, MikeyD said:

I don't know how many times I have tried to talk to them but get no reaction at all from them like I'm not even there, no facial expression, no verbal reply or anything. 

Wifes family did me like this for years so I simply ignore them and moved on.

[craftbeerlover]

2 hours ago, MikeyD said:

Fortunately I haven't encountered any issues as serious as the previous posts but I frequently encounter an attitude of indifference or disrespect from a lot if not most Filipinos except of course when a tip might be involved.  I don't know how many times I have tried to talk to them but get no reaction at all from them like I'm not even there, no facial expression, no verbal reply or anything.  Usually when that happens I ask my wife to convey my message and then they amazingly reply to her immediately to the same thing I was trying to say.  It's not just a language thing, they understood what I said but chose to completely ignore me.  I like being invisible but sometimes it borders on being ridiculous.  I'm still learning the ropes here so maybe one day I will understand this and find a better way to handle it.

I'd like to note, that experience from the womans partner was/is isolated.   While It is rare for Filipinos to admit making a mistake, or ever apologize, in my 13 plus years here, I have rarely felt like I was being discriminated against.   Either just the opposite, or treated like anybody else.    Havent really experienced being ignored as you described either.   As far as shopping goes, I was the one that went to the market (alone) for many many many years, and never felt ripped off there or like I was trying to be taken advantage of.  Maybe it depends where one lives in the Philippines???   Deep province vs heavily populated areas???