Keeping Your Enemy's Closer Than Your Friends.

[cebuexpat]

I will share with you one way that I have done really good about being able to go to many places and hang out without any trouble or any one to bother me. Please remember I am not advertiseing this method and would not want to be responsible for someone who tried and it did not work. I am only sharing my experience that has really kept me safe in times i should not have been safe.First off I like to hang out with the local people. I like the pinoy disco's and the road side karokee. You can meet alot of interesting people and have lot of fun. I first started going to a area in which is called FHM disco in the Basak area of Mactan Island. This area is notorius for gangs, lot of stand bys and area of trouble. ( I know you might say I should not go to those type of places. Which I would agree with you, but I really enjoy it. ) So while going time after time, I would go out of my way to meet the top gang leaders and members of the top respected persons in that area. Along with talking to local police officers and being freindly. Once you can meet one, then you can meet many others. After meeting with them, talking and being respectful and friendly. But not showing any kind of weakness or being a push over. They are useally willing and ready to talk with you. Then i always buy a set of red horse, or some breads each time i go. A cigarette here and a bowl of noodles there. Always speaking and respecting them when i see them. Its not a large cost, and you have to be a little strict sometimes on the amount you will do. But if you let it be known up front. They is never any trouble. Now granted you will have the constant buy me, i need to borrow, i need this or that. But useally if you stand firm and say " Sorry I cant do that, but let me buy you a drink. " So over a small amount of time, they have learned and come to really respect me, as i do them. They know i am not there as a free ride, but i am there as a freind, who will help and do what i can. Like i said its really a small amount, plus you know your helping feed hungry people with the breads, and noodles, and the occassional cake, or sweets you have laying around the house, that you take to them....To make a long story short, no matter where i go in this area, and many other areas, if someone so much as touchs or harass me in any way, they are right there ready to defend me. Even violently in some cases. With others grabbing and making a circle around me to protect me from the trouble. They also treat my friends in which i bring, the same way. I feel very comfortable that i can walk, set, dance, sing at any establishment in this area and no one would so much as look at me funny. Most people already know me and know i am associated with this group. So no one even dares to try anything. If i have any trouble of any kind, even if not in their area. They are ready to go and get someone for what they done. I have to really beg them, and tell them its ok and let it go... So again, I am not saying this is something you should do. I am just sharing my experiences. I am sure it could turn out to be bad in some cases. I am a big man, and very strict and commanding voice, so that also might have helped me in getting to know these people better. The whole point is i like the area, and wanted to be able to go there. This method has worked well for me. For others I can not say it would or would not work.One time a person was trying to pick pocket me in a line. I did not even realize it was going on. Then all of sudden they was punching and kicking of a man behind me. The one friend handed me my wallet and said sir he was trying to get your wallet. That saved me 5000 peso. So i give my friend P 500. So they know they will get treated good for helping. Another instance, i was leaving and all of sudden some of my friends come up and said come on sir this way. Lets go, dont walk down your normal way. I was so confused. I had no idea what was happening. Well they was a group that was sitting and watching for foreigners so they could rob them. I would not have known. They know all this. You might say, well this area is just a slum, but you are wrong. They are many foreign owned business there, many foreigners walking around. They are very upscale bars and clubs within walking distance of this area. This is just my experience.

[tropicalwaste]

Cebuexpat, your right with keeping people close although we all do it in different ways. The thing is breaking that barrier of distance also breaks down a lot of the issues that Filipinos generally have with foreigners as they start to see you someone between a Filipino and the rich foreigner which is always a good move. I would just advise caution on people knowing too much about you keep everything vague.

[Inspector]

I will share with you one way that I have done really good about being able to go to many places and hang out without any trouble or any one to bother me. Please remember I am not advertiseing this method and would not want to be responsible for someone who tried and it did not work. I am only sharing my experience that has really kept me safe in times i should not have been safe.First off I like to hang out with the local people. I like the pinoy disco's and the road side karokee. You can meet alot of interesting people and have lot of fun. I first started going to a area in which is called FHM disco in the Basak area of Mactan Island. This area is notorius for gangs, lot of stand bys and area of trouble. ( I know you might say I should not go to those type of places. Which I would agree with you, but I really enjoy it. ) So while going time after time, I would go out of my way to meet the top gang leaders and members of the top respected persons in that area. Along with talking to local police officers and being freindly. Once you can meet one, then you can meet many others. After meeting with them, talking and being respectful and friendly. But not showing any kind of weakness or being a push over. They are useally willing and ready to talk with you. Then i always buy a set of red horse, or some breads each time i go. A cigarette here and a bowl of noodles there. Always speaking and respecting them when i see them. Its not a large cost, and you have to be a little strict sometimes on the amount you will do. But if you let it be known up front. They is never any trouble. Now granted you will have the constant buy me, i need to borrow, i need this or that. But useally if you stand firm and say " Sorry I cant do that, but let me buy you a drink. " So over a small amount of time, they have learned and come to really respect me, as i do them. They know i am not there as a free ride, but i am there as a freind, who will help and do what i can. Like i said its really a small amount, plus you know your helping feed hungry people with the breads, and noodles, and the occassional cake, or sweets you have laying around the house, that you take to them....To make a long story short, no matter where i go in this area, and many other areas, if someone so much as touchs or harass me in any way, they are right there ready to defend me. Even violently in some cases. With others grabbing and making a circle around me to protect me from the trouble. They also treat my friends in which i bring, the same way. I feel very comfortable that i can walk, set, dance, sing at any establishment in this area and no one would so much as look at me funny. Most people already know me and know i am associated with this group. So no one even dares to try anything. If i have any trouble of any kind, even if not in their area. They are ready to go and get someone for what they done. I have to really beg them, and tell them its ok and let it go... So again, I am not saying this is something you should do. I am just sharing my experiences. I am sure it could turn out to be bad in some cases. I am a big man, and very strict and commanding voice, so that also might have helped me in getting to know these people better. The whole point is i like the area, and wanted to be able to go there. This method has worked well for me. For others I can not say it would or would not work.One time a person was trying to pick pocket me in a line. I did not even realize it was going on. Then all of sudden they was punching and kicking of a man behind me. The one friend handed me my wallet and said sir he was trying to get your wallet. That saved me 5000 peso. So i give my friend P 500. So they know they will get treated good for helping. Another instance, i was leaving and all of sudden some of my friends come up and said come on sir this way. Lets go, don't walk down your normal way. I was so confused. I had no idea what was happening. Well they was a group that was sitting and watching for foreigners so they could rob them. I would not have known. They know all this. You might say, well this area is just a slum, but you are wrong. They are many foreign owned business there, many foreigners walking around. They are very upscale bars and clubs within walking distance of this area. This is just my experience.

I respectfully disagree 100% with any of this. This is a sure fire way to get mugged, robbed or killed. I have no idea why you can't do this in safer places...unless you enjoy the thrill and danger. :th_hu:You are a source to them, and if you were robbed by the others, their source would be gone. They were simply saving their slow sourcing source from a source that would of caused the source to become sourceless, and the source never providing source again as he sourced elsewhere in sourceless and source searching areas. Penpals has spot on advice...keep vague. A poor expat is a rich man in the Philippines. :as-if:

[Mr Lee]

We all have different ways of doing things and I do my best to mix with the locals as we can but not to the extent that cebuexpat seems to have, but I respect him for doing what he is doing and if it works for him then so be it since he is not a newbie in the Philippines then he must be doing something correctly, at least for the way it works for him.

[Inspector]

We all have different ways of doing things and I do my best to mix with the locals as we can but not to the extent that cebuexpat seems to have, but I respect him for doing what he is doing and if it works for him then so be it since he is not a newbie in the Philippines then he must be doing something correctly, at least for the way it works for him.

Well, if he had real friends or family there I could see this method as of some use, but the topic was keeping his enemies closer, a reference by Sun Tzu's "the Art of War", and made famous in the Godfather. I am not certain who his enemies are here...the guys he refers to as enemies/friends that he buys little things for, or the more dangerous enemies who want to rob him down the road. We're talking a videoke ...in a bad area, with enemies within, and far more dangerous enemies outside. I still believe he is entertaining a future bad experience, but if you want to live dangerously for a rush of Frank Sinatra and singing "my way"...the wrong way, more power to him or any others. :cheersty:The most dangerous thing I do now in my old fart days is get a massage by a guy ... cause it can feel too good.... and noticeably good is not good. :tiphat:

[cebuexpat]

Thanks for all the great comments. I can perfectly understand a lot of peoples reservations on my methods. As i said before, please dont think i am advertising it. Matter of fact, if someone ask me, I would probally also tell them, its just trouble waiting to happen. I often think of that myself. Being here so long and so " Street Smart" i quess you could say, I believe help me to see potential sisuations that might arise and to avoid them, or move in different direction through conversation or actions. Also one reason this might work so well for me, is that i was also raised in a rough , rough neighborhood. So maybe I can relate to that type of enviorment better, even if its a different Culture. You would be really shocked when meeting these tatto, loose clothing, color wearing guys.( Their persona makes you think and look at them as very violent, tough, and killer type.) That they really are just scared young men who are have idenity crisis. I have been to many of their homes and met familys. When moma says boy you get that water bucket and get water, he will act and seem just like a normal young man here in The Philippines. He will say yes moma, and duck as he passes her, worrying shes going to give him a smack..... lol ha ha. But on the street, he walks the walk, talk the talk, and demands respect from people around him..... I quess you could say i have been lucky. The groups that in which i know and am friends with, really are not the ones who theif, and rob and pick pocket. ( Or at least what i know of and hear). I think they are more the young and older groups who have gained respect and fear through words, and acting, and through passed down from brother to brother. Plus the nomal common fist fight in which we all have done as boys even in our own countrys. Honestly I believe they live most of their life on imtemidation methods, and talk.... But in this culture, that is all thats needed and they are feared and respected. Maybe one day it will turn around and bite me in the butt. I can actually say in all honesty, I have been robbed, cheated, pick pocketed, back stabbed, set up, lied too, conspired against, threatened by some of the most well dressed, kind, sweet, proper little beauitful things you have ever seen. Then a bunch of hard, slump backed, head rag wearing thugs... lol ha ha ha ha haSo sometimes i dont fear the ones who look like trouble, I feel comfortable with them. ( I have no proof against them ) My fear for robbery, snatching, stealing, killing comes when i see the small , sexy little group of filipina come walking down the road with a smile that will melt your heart. That is time to tremble and be scared. lol ha ha ha ha ha ha..... Their methods might be different, but the outcome is the same.......... disclaimer ::::: they are a lot of great and wonderful filipina's. Not all filipina'a fit into my discription.

Edited March 30, 2010 by cebuexpat

[love2winalot]

Hiya: When i was in Hawaii, i had to go to an Apartment Maganement course run by Chaney Brooks & Co. I rember Mr. Chaney saying the following, "The Owners in the building do not have to like you, they only have to respect you". "If you can earn their respect, you can tell an Owner to go to Hell, and they will go back to their unit and start packing for the trip". Respect is the Key. It is Earned. Also, People do not take a lot of chances. The people that get kidnapped and held for ramson were not chosen at random. It does no good to kidnapp someone who has no money, and whos family has no money. As far as being a, "Source" goes, imhop, Everything is like that Everywhere. How many of us had to bite our tounge at work, not to lose a client, or tenant, or customer, and the like? Why does the teller at the bank have the, "just shoot me" look, and gives a fake smile when you deposit at her window? The service on the airline sucks, but i won't say anything because i need them to get me to PI.I need to extend my Visa, so i will be nice at Immigration, even though the Guy is a jerk.I only want to pay 500 pesos for the item that cost 600, so i will put out 500 and say this is all i have.So yes, we are a Source to others, and others are also a Source to us. So, if Source=Enemy, then keep your enemy close is a good idea.