Mr Lee Posted November 15, 2008 Posted November 15, 2008 :cheers: Do any of you find that it is common for friends, family or acquaintance to ask for gifts this time of year?What else is good or bad for you this time of year in the Philippines?I was shocked the first time when a group of my wife's former co-workers in Cagayan de Oro City asked us "where is my pinaskuhan?" :D These otherwise shy and reserved Philippine ladies were not at all shy to ask us, and I had to ask my wife what was up with that?...... :D Growing up in the states, I never heard adults ask for their Christmas gifts and here they were asking my wife and myself when most of them barely had ever talked to me beyond giving me the raised eyebrows and smiles whenever they saw me...... So what is up with that??? :D Because of those early in our relationship experiences, over the years, I have tried hard to not be around the Philippines during this time of the year and I am wondering if some of you could tell me if people do it in the streets too or does some of your families also do it? and what about the people in the stores or malls? or if there are other problems that I need to be aware of?This is no joke since we will eventually be living there full time in the next few years and I am wondering if all I have to do is stay away from family and my wife's former co-workers or stay home totally or go on vacation this time of year? :559: BTW, we always gave them small amounts of cash as gifts when we visited them in future years, no matter what time of the year it was, so money is not really the issue and having someone ask for it, is. :) :( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mik Posted November 16, 2008 Posted November 16, 2008 Aideen's relatives do a gift exchange at their family compound fiesta. Weeks before the event someone will write all the relatives' names on little pieces of paper and pass them out. That way each person only has to buy one gift with a peso limit on the value. It would be pretty expensive if you had to give gifts to everyone.If someone asks for a gift outside the arrangement I just smile and pretend I didn't hear them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twostrokes Posted November 16, 2008 Posted November 16, 2008 The only problems I ever had during Xmas was with family, friends and then of course strangers bugging me, coursemy name is BAH HUMBUG!!!!!Even had the doorbell ripped off the wall beside my driveway gate because I didn't come out and give the carolers anything on their 3rd visit in 2 hrs.Jim Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paul Posted November 16, 2008 Posted November 16, 2008 I hate the fact that my best friend was murdered on December 5th, 1998. So, Christmas time isn't exactly my time of the year.Well, I don't mean to drag the topic down, but you asked. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Lee Posted November 16, 2008 Author Posted November 16, 2008 Since I started this topic, I feel it appropriate to add this post.Bad things that happen in our lives always haunt us during those times of the year that they happened, but they are especially hurtful during the holiday season because it is supposed to be a joyous time and how can it bring joy, when it brings back such bad memories. The answer I found was to think of all the good times that person brought into my life and that we had together when they were alive, instead of the fact that they may have died during that time frame.As we get older and if we were to mark our calendars, we would find that the older we get, the more days become hard to deal with because someone died close to them. My calendar runnith over :1 (235): and I know that all my friends and family who have died during those dates, would never want me to continue to morn their deaths, but to instead remember the good times we had while we were together and while they were alive. May this time of the year bring everyone joy and may we all find solace in knowing that we may someday see our loved ones again, if that is where our departure leads us. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paul Posted November 16, 2008 Posted November 16, 2008 You might feel differently, Lee, if you felt that, in your mind anyway, that you were responsible for the loved ones death. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Lee Posted November 16, 2008 Author Posted November 16, 2008 You might feel differently, Lee, if you felt that, in your mind anyway, that you were responsible for the loved ones death.I will reply to this and believe it or not, the last one was in no way directed at you and was already being typed before you posted yours but I can see how it may have come off that way.Paul, I guess you are correct and I am sorry if my posts brought you or anyone else any pain. It was never my intention! and as I have said before, I am sorry for your loss.BTW, My actions or inactions have cost people and friends their lives and I live with it everyday but I try to remember the good times and this time of year brings me a lot of pain as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tropicalwaste Posted November 18, 2008 Posted November 18, 2008 Christmas and New Year always brings the worst out on people. Sitting having meals with people you try to avoid most of the year. Family disputes and arguements always happen more at Christmas. Overspending and stress....But to be honest its different in the Philippines to UK. No one expects or asks for anything in the Philippines all the hassles were are in the UK. But very little of it is to do with my family. But for years my exs family were a nightmare thank god i dont need to see them anymore! But my ex still trys to keep up with the Jones`s which recently caused a dispute because of wanting me to pay for a party for my daughter yet i wasnt even going to it :1 (235): . My ex didnt even understand what was wrong with this and stopped me seeing my daughter over her birthday.. If it wasnt for Nicole (my daughter) I wouldnt even bother with the UK at all.. but i suppose many of us go through the same headaches with exs.. One thing i do find odd is when you tell people not to buy presents and they still do... As i tell people to buy things that are useful for them rather than jumpers etc. that ill never use. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BobNChe Posted November 18, 2008 Posted November 18, 2008 Lee, I have not experienced the phenomena you mentioned regarding asking for presents. But in the beginning, Kristine's office mates were not shy to ask me to bring them chocolate and such. K and I were both put off by this. Xmas has become a bad time of year for me because my X would just go overboard with everything. It got so commercial and ridiculous that it just put me off.K's family is not that keen on the holidays, any of them! So it suits me well. But K does like Xmas for the most part and I try to keep my emotions in check for her sake! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jollygoodfellow Posted November 18, 2008 Posted November 18, 2008 Lee, I have not experienced the phenomena you mentioned regarding asking for presents. But in the beginning, Kristine's office mates were not shy to ask me to bring them chocolate and such. K and I were both put off by this. Xmas has become a bad time of year for me because my X would just go overboard with everything. It got so commercial and ridiculous that it just put me off.K's family is not that keen on the holidays, any of them! So it suits me well. But K does like Xmas for the most part and I try to keep my emotions in check for her sake!Hi BobI found that on each visit to Cebu, that if a few girls I know find out that I'm coming then they always ask for a gift.This is not Christmas time but anytime of year.I have not yet had the experience of the wifes family at Christmas so I can not comment on family asking at that time of year.To me Christmas is really for the Kids. :1 (235): Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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