Our Differences

[UZI]

How many 'Traits' do you see in yourselves - Filipino and Kano and maybe Jake etc can throw some light as where a FilAm fits? Obviously these are generalisations but I for one recognise much on both sides & not just Filipino but Malay & Chinese too. Key: Blue --> Westerners Red --> Asians (1) OpinionWesterners: Talk to the pointAsians: Talk around the circle, especially if opinions are different (2) Way of LifeWesterners: individualism, think of himself or herself. Asians: enjoy gathering with family and friends, solving their problems, and know each others business. (3) Punctuality Westerners: on time. Asians: in time.(4) Contacts Westerners: Contact to related person only.Asians: Contact everyone everywhere, business very successful. (5) AngerWesterners: Show that I am angry. Asians: I am angry, but still smiling... (Beware!)(6) Queue when WaitingWesterners: Queuing in an orderly manner.Asians: Queuing?! What's that?(7) Sundays on the RoadWesterners: Enjoy weekend relaxing peacefully.Asians: Enjoy weekend in crowded places, like going to the mall.(8) PartyWesterners: Only gather with their own group. Asians: All focus on the one activity that is hosted by the CEO.(9) In the restaurantWesterners: Talk softly and gently in the restaurant.Asians: Talk and laugh loudly like they own the restaurant.(10) TravelingWesterners: Love sightseeing and enjoy the scenery. Asians: Taking picture is the most important; scenery is just for the background. (11) Handling of ProblemsWesterners: Take any steps to solve the problems. Asians: Try to avoid conflicts, and if can, don't leave any trail. (12) Three meals a dayWesterners: Good meal for once a day is sufficed. Asians: At least 3 good meals a day.(13) Transportation Westerners: Before drove cars, now cycling for environmental protection. Asians: Before no money and rode a bike, now got money and drive a car (14) Elderly in day-to-day life Westerners: When old, there is snoopy for companionship. Asians: When old, guarantee will not be lonely, as long as willing to babysit grandkids. (15) Moods and Weather Westerners: The logic is: rain is pain. Asians: More rain, more prosperity (16) The BossWesterners: The boss is part of the team. Asians: The boss is a fierce god. (17) What's TrendyWesterners: Eat healthy Asian cuisine.Asians: Eat expensive Western cuisine. (18) The Child Westerners: The kid is going to be independent and make his/her own living.Asians: Slog whole life for the kids, the centre of your life.

[Jake]

Good one UZI !One of the traits I found very distinctive is the aroma coming from a Filipino home herein California. I can relate to that -- if you approach my home, you will find the aromaequivalent to a skunk asking to pull his finger. Yeah, I'm proud of my farts, especially the pork adobo farts!I get no respect sometimes -- Jake

[Travis]

interesting & thank you Uzi for starting it but I think it is too much generalizations as you pointed out already. I will study it when I am more alert & try to comment more. bad nights sleep

[Mr Lee]

Actually I really tried hard to tackle this and reply to each and every one of these but found the generalizations were just too vast since many Asian cultures are totally different and many western cultures are also totally different, so no one size would fit all, and each group would have to be broken down and then it could only be answered in the opinion of the poster and based on their own experiences and interactions, and then we all know what would happen, some people would get up in arms and it would turn into a free for all. I believe that there are vast misconceptions of many cultures by how they speak or the lack thereof and IMO generalization about any group such as all Asians or all westerners would just be a waste of time because no two individuals will be exactly the same. Some may act the same on the outside because of their upbringing but on the inside their feelings would most likely all be different depending on how they feel about you when they meet you.Example, I have met some Filipinos who I did not like at all the second we spoke and I am sure they felt that so they did not like me either, and then others that I liked very much from minute one and I believe we have become friends because of that.Next I have met many Americans during my lifetime, and I can honestly say that I could count my good friends on both my hands and my lifelong friends probably on just one hand. Then would come acquaintances, those we consider friends but are they really there for you when the chips are down. I guess we would only find out when the chips were actually down and you needed them, but many who I thought were friends and that I was there for them when their chips were down, later turned out to be back stabbers who allowed trivial bull sh*t to come between what I considered to be a good friendship, so they were never really friends and were probably just users or leeches from the start who hung around for what they could get out of me.  So all, I find that I cannot answer this because it is just way to general and to get more direct it will no doubt cause hard feelings, so unless people can answer in generalizations from their own experiences only, I am going to hope this thread does not end up as a problem and end up closed if it does.

[UZI]

Actually I really tried hard to tackle this and reply to each and every one of these but found the generalizations were just too vast since many Asian cultures are totally different and many western cultures are also totally different, so no one size would fit all, and each group would have to be broken down and then it could only be answered in the opinion of the poster and based on their own experiences and interactions, and then we all know what would happen, some people would get up in arms and it would turn into a free for all. I believe that there are vast misconceptions of many cultures by how they speak or the lack thereof and IMO generalization about any group such as all Asians or all westerners would just be a waste of time because no two individuals will be exactly the same. Some may act the same on the outside because of their upbringing but on the inside their feelings would most likely all be different depending on how they feel about you when they meet you.Example, I have met some Filipinos who I did not like at all the second we spoke and I am sure they felt that so they did not like me either, and then others that I liked very much from minute one and I believe we have become friends because of that.Next I have met many Americans during my lifetime, and I can honestly say that I could count my good friends on both my hands and my lifelong friends probably on just one hand. Then would come acquaintances, those we consider friends but are they really there for you when the chips are down. I guess we would only find out when the chips were actually down and you needed them, but many who I thought were friends and that I was there for them when their chips were down, later turned out to be back stabbers who allowed trivial bull sh*t to come between what I considered to be a good friendship, so they were never really friends and were probably just users or leeches from the start who hung around for what they could get out of me. So all, I find that I cannot answer this because it is just way to general and to get more direct it will no doubt cause hard feelings, so unless people can answer in generalizations from their own experiences only, I am going to hope this thread does not end up as a problem and end up closed if it does.

Lee,With respect, this Forum is starting to become too PC (politically correct) IMHO. To quote you from the 'Why do some Filipinos hate Americans' thread:

Traveler is just learning while living in the Philippines, so curiosity is normal

This board / forum is called CULTURE and IMHO should be about discussing where Filipinos & Kanos differ, so that those who have little or no experience can become more culturally aware. How else do members in the States, UK etc learn, if they are afraid of saying the wrong thing or upsetting someone. If comments are made that could be misunderstood, then it should be down to the more experienced members, to politely explain that so they learn from it.In my lead comment to this thread, I did say:

Obviously these are generalizations but I for one recognize much on both sides & not just Filipino but Malay & Chinese too.

Therefore pointing out that I was referring to MY OPINION & EXPERIENCES and asking for members to do the same by asking if they recognized any of the 'Traits'So, I will do what I asked of others & give my opinion on some that I recognize:(3) Punctuality Westerners: on time. Asians: in time.No generalization here, I experienced 'Asian Time' as a common occurrence in Malaysia & equally so here, only here Filipinos call it Filipino Time. Westerners find it hard to get used to everyone turning up as much as an hour late & they don't think they have done anything wrong. If as foreigners we know about it, we can be more understanding & flexible ourselves. BTW, my wife does not like this in Filipinos, being married to a punctual Brit.(6) Queue when WaitingWesterners: Queuing in an orderly manner.Asians: Queuing?! What's that?This is a common experience here, if the number of posts I have read on other forums is anything to go by. Does it apply to all - no but common enough to cause issue with an unprepared Expat with a temper.(7) Sundays on the RoadWesterners: Enjoy weekend relaxing peacefully.Asians: Enjoy weekend in crowded places, like going to the mall.Oh come on, tell me this isn't true on both sides for the majority of us.(11) Handling of ProblemsWesterners: Take any steps to solve the problems. Asians: Try to avoid conflicts, and if can, don't leave any trail. How many times will you hear this week 'sorry out of stock' without even checking - nuff said.(14) Elderly in day-to-day life Westerners: When old, there is snoopy for companionship. Asians: When old, guarantee will not be lonely, as long as willing to babysit grandkids. One of the great Filipino strengths and something that gives us peace in our minds as we grow older here.(17) What's TrendyWesterners: Eat healthy Asian cuisine.Asians: Eat expensive Western cuisine. Good for Westerners & the ever growing number of Fast Food outlets but not good for the 'bottom' line of many overweight Filipinos seen in Malls now.(18) The Child Westerners: The kid is going to be independent and make his/her own living.Asians: Slog whole life for the kids, the center of your life.A very powerful force here. The reason for so much joy, happiness, pride, strength, pain, sorrow, conflictSome will agree with these observations and some will not. Some armed with these views will perhaps stand back & check for themselves before assuming things here are the way they are in their own country.If your experience is the same as mine, then add yours to it, if not express yours for the reader to benefit from that too.Just IMO, IMHO, my 2 cents, my dalawa Centavos, from my experience.Uzi. Edited June 23, 2010 by UZI

[Mr Lee]

Uzi again I will state it was too broad or generalized to answer. Now had you said how does your (meaning any of us) culture compare to Filipino culture then I think people could answer more directly and hopefully without insulting anyone. I cannot speak to British culture or Australian culture or any other western culture besides the US, so the term westerners was too broad IMO. Then we go back to the word Asian and again from my experiences Asians are as different in culture as westerners might be, so if you wish to rephrase it to Filipinos compared to each of our own cultures then I think we could all deal with it and hopefully do it nice enough to not insult any culture. Also since this forum is about the Philippines and the culture section is about Filipino culture, then comparing their culture to our own might teach people a few things they need to learn. I have dated many ladies from different cultures yet I surely do not consider myself to be expert enough on their cultures to dare to comment on them, but since my wife and I have been married almost 16 years now, and I have been going back and forth to the Philippines longer than that, I can comment on some of Filipino culture that I have experienced but again I am far from an expert on Filipino culture. Members are welcome to compare their own cultures to Filipino culture and I feel that would be much better than the broad stoke you have suggested. JMHO and lets us keep this discussion in that vain. 

[UZI]

Uzi again I will state it was too broad or generalized to answer. Now had you said how does your (meaning any of us) culture compare to Filipino culture then I think people could answer more directly and hopefully without insulting anyone. I cannot speak to British culture or Australian culture or any other western culture besides the US, so the term westerners was too broad IMO. Then we go back to the word Asian and again from my experiences Asians are as different in culture as westerners might be, so if you wish to rephrase it to Filipinos compared to each of our own cultures then I think we could all deal with it and hopefully do it nice enough to not insult any culture. Also since this forum is about the Philippines and the culture section is about Filipino culture, then comparing their culture to our own might teach people a few things they need to learn. I have dated many ladies from different cultures yet I surely do not consider myself to be expert enough on their cultures to dare to comment on them, but since my wife and I have been married over 15 years, and I have been going back and forth to the Philippines longer than that, I can comment on some of Filipino culture that I have experienced but again I am far from an expert on Filipino culture. Members are welcome to compare their own cultures to Filipino culture and I feel that would be much better than the broad stoke you have suggested. JMHO and lets us keep this discussion in that vain.

Lee,You said:

Members are welcome to compare their own cultures to Filipino culture and I feel that would be much better than the broad stoke you have suggested.

My opening statement was:

How many 'Traits' do you see in yourselves - Filipino and Kano

The section pasted in states 'Asian' (I didn't write it, for the record) but I specifically related it to the Philippines and to Kanos (being the term for Brits, Aussies, Americans, etc etc) in that statement & in my reply answered all based on living here, working here & being married to a Filipina for 12 years.If you feel unable to offer any comments that is perfectly ok. Others may wish to add their experiences as I have or the thread will just die & that will be that.Uzi.

[softail]

I enjoyed the topic and thanks for posting it. Really not sure what the problem is, I can relate to many of the points you made.Doug and Sally

[Mr Lee]

Uzi again I will state it was too broad or generalized to answer. Now had you said how does your (meaning any of us) culture compare to Filipino culture then I think people could answer more directly and hopefully without insulting anyone. I cannot speak to British culture or Australian culture or any other western culture besides the US, so the term westerners was too broad IMO. Then we go back to the word Asian and again from my experiences Asians are as different in culture as westerners might be, so if you wish to rephrase it to Filipinos compared to each of our own cultures then I think we could all deal with it and hopefully do it nice enough to not insult any culture. Also since this forum is about the Philippines and the culture section is about Filipino culture, then comparing their culture to our own might teach people a few things they need to learn. I have dated many ladies from different cultures yet I surely do not consider myself to be expert enough on their cultures to dare to comment on them, but since my wife and I have been married over 15 years, and I have been going back and forth to the Philippines longer than that, I can comment on some of Filipino culture that I have experienced but again I am far from an expert on Filipino culture. Members are welcome to compare their own cultures to Filipino culture and I feel that would be much better than the broad stoke you have suggested. JMHO and lets us keep this discussion in that vain.

Lee,You said:

Members are welcome to compare their own cultures to Filipino culture and I feel that would be much better than the broad stoke you have suggested.

My opening statement was:

How many 'Traits' do you see in yourselves - Filipino and Kano

The section pasted in states 'Asian' (I didn't write it, for the record) but I specifically related it to the Philippines and to Kanos (being the term for Brits, Aussies, Americans, etc etc) in that statement & in my reply answered all based on living here, working here & being married to a Filipina for 12 years.If you feel unable to offer any comments that is perfectly ok. Others may wish to add their experiences as I have or the thread will just die & that will be that.Uzi.

Last comment by myself or you on this, and we best get back to the topic as I just stated it to be and as you apparently meant it to be. I believe that if the item you posted was a copy and past, then you should have changed Asian to Filipino if that is what you meant it to be and not just made the comment above it, that is the problem that I had with it. So members are welcome to compare their own countries culture to Filipino culture in their opinions and as they feel it to be and not every member of this forum is Filipino or westerner and the others deserve a voice as well IMO.  

[ekimswish]

Uzi, pretty spot on with most of it. 1) Opinion........ All too true. 2) Way of Life..... Totally. 3) Punctuality.... Oh yeah. 4) Contacts.... What's this about?5) Anger.... I just assume people are angry at me now.6) Queue When Waiting... Never thought I'd shoulder an old person, but...7) Sundays on the Road.... Not sure I agree. I think Western people pack in the mall as well, but there're just more people in Asia. Even mountain trails can get crowded, but I don't anyone wants it. 8) Party... While we definitely head out with our group, Westerners are more prone to spread out and party with strangers IMO at home or abroad. Interfering with strangers in Asia while drinking can be bad for your health. The CEO thing is truer in richer circles or Asian countries, but doubt it applies to 80% of Filipinos.9) In the Restaurant... depends on what you're drinking. Westerners get loud when they drink, too. I think it comes back down to population. Asians are used to loud, crowded, noisy surroundings, so don't worry about their volume in a restaurant. But at the same time, foreigners are always getting "HUSHED" on the subway here in Korea, lol. It's usually met with a finger. 10) Traveling... Disagree with the angle that Asians don't appreciate the scenery. Being trigger happy on the camera doesn't make you less in tune with the beautiful surroundings. Sometimes it helps you to appreciate it more. The bottom line is, at least they're getting out there. 11) Handling of Problems... This is a tricky one. Sometimes it's frustrating dealing with Asian culture here because a lot of simple solutions to us either don't occur or aren't really appealing to them. My wife and I fight about these things a lot. It's preference maybe. But sometimes Western culture is too by the book and stringent. I love the fact that in Asia I can bend these never-ending-bending rules almost anytime I push hard enough. In Canada, not a chance. If Asians took such a hard-line approach to rules like Canadians, I would never have survived out here! lol12) Three Meals a Day... More generational than cultural. My family, coming from a rural life, had 3 big meals a day. Me, coming from Gen-X, can survive on junk food and diabetes, lol. Don't forget, this is also socio-economic as many Filipinos can't afford more than one or two meager meals a day. 13) Transportation... A lot of Westerners are increasingly environmentally minded and cycle or cut back on oil consumption by other means. But let's not forget who started the car revolution and continues to push for SUV's and heavy duty trucks even when living in the city. And the public transportation systems even - or especially - in rich Asian countries are amazingly more efficient than their western counterparts. 14) Elderly in day-to-day life... True. Asia's a lot more family oriented, with or without the grandkids to babysit. They also control a lot of money or land that the children are eagerly awaiting, so they have a bit more power, and aren't always shy to use it. 15) Moods and Weather.... Don't see it as very cultural. They may have traditional beliefs about the weather, but most people have their own preference. 16) The Boss... probably, yup.17) What's trendy.... True, but Westerners have an easier time living full time on an Asian diet than vice-versa. 18) The Kid.... True enough. Westerners don't want their children taking care of them when they're older. Asians realize they're probably gonna be dependent on them some day. So the connections are very different. Take care of them so they can take care of you VS let them take care of themselves and I'll be fine. For the sake of PC..... IMO... lol.... rsp..... sto... krs1