Too Old Or Too Young

[Retired Alf]

GreetingsI mentioned in another topic about my up coming marriage to a younger woman,my family of grown adults and my 2 younger sisters as well as my friends have been criticizing and blasting advice from every angle. You see I am a self funded retiree aged 60 and my lady is only 19. Some of the things said to me when I announced our plans were so discouraging and hurtful. I have been called a dirty old man,stupid, a nut case to name but a few.My own sister has taken the stance that she wont have anything to do with me or us if I go through with the marriage and this also appears to be influencing my kids.My feelings towards Jocelyn are true and I am positive hers are the same,nothing seems to convince any one else,a friend continually lets me know that he thinks she is out for my money but he has never even met her.All of this is taking its toll,its now at the point I avoid my family and friends. Why cant they understand that we both are inlove? I am beginning to question myself which is making me angry and at times upset over the whole matter.Has any of the group had to deal with a situation like this?Am I wrong to follow my heart? is Jocelyn to young for me.I will appreciate some guidance here.Thanks            Retired Alf

[Jollygoodfellow]

GreetingsI mentioned in another topic about my up coming marriage to a younger woman,my family of grown adults and my 2 younger sisters as well as my friends have been criticizing and blasting advice from every angle. You see I am a self funded retiree aged 60 and my lady is only 19. Some of the things said to me when I announced our plans were so discouraging and hurtful. I have been called a dirty old man,stupid, a nut case to name but a few.My own sister has taken the stance that she wont have anything to do with me or us if I go through with the marriage and this also appears to be influencing my kids.My feelings towards Jocelyn are true and I am positive hers are the same,nothing seems to convince any one else,a friend continually lets me know that he thinks she is out for my money but he has never even met her.All of this is taking its toll,its now at the point I avoid my family and friends. Why cant they understand that we both are inlove? I am beginning to question myself which is making me angry and at times upset over the whole matter.Has any of the group had to deal with a situation like this?Am I wrong to follow my heart? is Jocelyn to young for me.I will appreciate some guidance here.Thanks Retired Alf

There are many things to consider in a marriage with a big age difference,the first ones to come to mind are having children,death, and of course what you are experiencing with family.In my opinion stuff the family if you feel that your marriage is right for both of you. Again and only my opinion is that life is short,it will either work out or not.Hopefully some one with a wide age gap relationship can share their experience here.If you don't mind,what is the background of your girl,educated,working,province girl?:welcome:

[Art2ro]

For me, it's all about compatible companionship no matter the age difference! Who cares about what anyone else thinks as long as we are both content and happy with one another til death do us part! :welcome::565:

[manabouttown]

GreetingsI mentioned in another topic about my up coming marriage to a younger woman,my family of grown adults and my 2 younger sisters as well as my friends have been criticizing and blasting advice from every angle. You see I am a self funded retiree aged 60 and my lady is only 19. Some of the things said to me when I announced our plans were so discouraging and hurtful. I have been called a dirty old man,stupid, a nut case to name but a few.My own sister has taken the stance that she wont have anything to do with me or us if I go through with the marriage and this also appears to be influencing my kids.My feelings towards Jocelyn are true and I am positive hers are the same,nothing seems to convince any one else,a friend continually lets me know that he thinks she is out for my money but he has never even met her.All of this is taking its toll,its now at the point I avoid my family and friends. Why cant they understand that we both are inlove? I am beginning to question myself which is making me angry and at times upset over the whole matter.Has any of the group had to deal with a situation like this?Am I wrong to follow my heart? is Jocelyn to young for me.I will appreciate some guidance here.Thanks Retired Alf

hi what could a 60 and 19 year old have in common? Edited July 11, 2010 by Boss Man
removed some comments that could be seen as a personal attack on the member

[brock]

GreetingsI mentioned in another topic about my up coming marriage to a younger woman,my family of grown adults and my 2 younger sisters as well as my friends have been criticizing and blasting advice from every angle. You see I am a self funded retiree aged 60 and my lady is only 19. Some of the things said to me when I announced our plans were so discouraging and hurtful. I have been called a dirty old man,stupid, a nut case to name but a few.My own sister has taken the stance that she wont have anything to do with me or us if I go through with the marriage and this also appears to be influencing my kids.My feelings towards Jocelyn are true and I am positive hers are the same,nothing seems to convince any one else,a friend continually lets me know that he thinks she is out for my money but he has never even met her.All of this is taking its toll,its now at the point I avoid my family and friends. Why cant they understand that we both are inlove? I am beginning to question myself which is making me angry and at times upset over the whole matter.Has any of the group had to deal with a situation like this?Am I wrong to follow my heart? is Jocelyn to young for me.I will appreciate some guidance here.Thanks Retired Alf

GO FOR IT..........If it makes you happy, Then your family should be happy for you too, I was in a similar situation, My wife being 30 years younger than me, When we first met, I wasnt looking for a relationship with anyone, But over a period of time I realised I was falling in love with her, I asked my 2 sons what they thought of this, And they said, GO FOR IT DAD and dont worry about what other people think, Now if my son is out with my wife people will say,You have 2 lovely daughters and ask how long they have been married, He tells them,They are not my daughters, They are my sisters and She is not my wife, She is my mam, Wife and son are both the same age. Both my sons think the world of my wife because they can see how happy she has made my life.AND OF COURSE people of a big age difference can have things in common, I,m afraid people who say they cant have anything in common do not know what they are talking about, My wife likes all the oldie type music, not the rap crap type you get these days,I was quite suprised that she knew all the older songs, Enjoys going to see live bands and comedy bars, not at all interested in disco`s because the musics too loud. We have many things in common,You do not have to be the same age to enjoy life, So IMO...GO FOR IT, If people and family dont like it..TOUGH, JUST ENJOY THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.Regards Brock. very happily married for 7 years now.

[Mr Lee]

GreetingsI mentioned in another topic about my up coming marriage to a younger woman,my family of grown adults and my 2 younger sisters as well as my friends have been criticizing and blasting advice from every angle. You see I am a self funded retiree aged 60 and my lady is only 19. Some of the things said to me when I announced our plans were so discouraging and hurtful. I have been called a dirty old man,stupid, a nut case to name but a few.My own sister has taken the stance that she wont have anything to do with me or us if I go through with the marriage and this also appears to be influencing my kids.My feelings towards Jocelyn are true and I am positive hers are the same,nothing seems to convince any one else,a friend continually lets me know that he thinks she is out for my money but he has never even met her.All of this is taking its toll,its now at the point I avoid my family and friends. Why cant they understand that we both are inlove? I am beginning to question myself which is making me angry and at times upset over the whole matter.Has any of the group had to deal with a situation like this?Am I wrong to follow my heart? is Jocelyn to young for me.I will appreciate some guidance here.Thanks            Retired Alf

My wife is 20 years younger than I am and while that is not a vast an age difference as you have, I did have many of the same issues with mostly friends. Many of my former married friends dropped me from their lives and I believe it was because the wives were afraid their husbands might do the same thing I did. Maybe the guys said something to encourage those thoughts and maybe it was just insecurity on the wives parts, but the heck with them, true friends stuck by me and us and are still friends to this day 16 years later, and to me that is all that counts. I did not have trouble with family because they saw how happy my wife made me but I did not have sisters and only had an older brother and he was probably just jealous and did not cause any problems. I also did not have any children, so that too did not become an issue but IMO boys would understand more, while daughters probably would not. The main thing is to tell them that you have never been happier and isn't that what they wish for you. Also money may be an issue for some,  so make sure to provide for your first family so they do not have to think your new wife will steal all your money. It always amazes me how some kids think parents money has to be theirs when the parents are gone. The issue about nothing in common really did not come into play at all because I had found that most of the Philippines is a breath of fresh air and like stepping back in time, so my wife adjusted to me with few problems other than cultural issues which are minor, but do require some patience, and while I could never relate to a younger American lady, it was no problem at all with my Filipino wife.I say go for it and just enjoy your life but also make sure to provide for her future and any children you may have, because now that I am almost 62, the age difference does bring me pause, and I do worry about what might happen when I am gone, but the heck with it and I am going to stick around as long as I can, and enjoy life while we can. The biggest problem in the Philippines that I see is that once a lady is 30 or above, then she is most often considered an old maid, so just keep that in mind and buy plenty of Cialis or Viagra (whichever works best for you :welcome: ) and keep her totally happy      and she will make it the best years of your life.  :565: I know many of you say you do not need those and I am allergic to most medicines including those, but I am a realist and know that the my all nighter days are far and few between nowadays, so IMO for any relationship to survive there has to be more than just sex and both parties have to be totally satisfied in all ways, and any man who only worries about satisfying himself may find another rooster in the hen house.    

[Jake]

Hello Alf,On the top of my head, you don't deserve the negative criticism coming from you family and friends. We are both 60 years old and we don't need someone else to manage our lifestyle for the remaining years. It should all be down hill, after all we worked our butts off to earn a decent retirement.But I must tell you, in spite of this encouragement -- please proceed with extreme caution. I believe the age difference is not a significant factor. It's Joycelyn's age at 19 may be more of a concern. Her maturity, educational and family background needs a thorough research (if you haven't already done so). Whatever time it takes to really get to know each other, please make sure the pool is full of water beforeyou take the plunge. Make your decision based on logic rather than emotions.We wish you the very best, both you and Joycelyn!Respectfully -- Jake

[Travis]

GreetingsI mentioned in another topic about my up coming marriage to a younger woman,my family of grown adults and my 2 younger sisters as well as my friends have been criticizing and blasting advice from every angle. You see I am a self funded retiree aged 60 and my lady is only 19. Some of the things said to me when I announced our plans were so discouraging and hurtful. I have been called a dirty old man,stupid, a nut case to name but a few.My own sister has taken the stance that she wont have anything to do with me or us if I go through with the marriage and this also appears to be influencing my kids.My feelings towards Jocelyn are true and I am positive hers are the same,nothing seems to convince any one else,a friend continually lets me know that he thinks she is out for my money but he has never even met her.All of this is taking its toll,its now at the point I avoid my family and friends. Why cant they understand that we both are inlove? I am beginning to question myself which is making me angry and at times upset over the whole matter.Has any of the group had to deal with a situation like this?Am I wrong to follow my heart? is Jocelyn to young for me.I will appreciate some guidance here.Thanks Retired Alf

I am jealous I say stick with it proceed slow & use caution but if it is love then imo the heck with everyone else :welcome:

[Lordblacknail]

Hello Alf,On the top my head, you don't deserve the negative criticism coming from you family and friends. We are both 60 years old and we don't need someone else to manage our lifestyle for the remaining years. It should all be down hill, after all we worked our butts off to earn a decent retirement.But I must tell you, in spite of this encouragement -- please proceed with extreme caution. I believe the age difference is not a significant factor. It's Joycelyn's age at 19 may be more of a concern. Her maturity, educational and family background needs a thorough research (if you haven't already done so). Whatever time it takes to really get to know each other, please make sure the pool is full of water beforeyou take the plunge. Make your decision based on logic rather than emotions.We wish you the very best, both you and Joycelyn!Respectfully -- Jake

Hi JakeWelcome to the forum from a member of only a few days.I say, Let em' eat cake!! if the dried up old prunes aren't happy for you, it's probably because they are jealous of your happiness. In this world, I have found over the sixty-five years that I have been on it, one simple fact. You get what you give.Your relationship with your girlfriend is your business and no one elses. You both have expectations of what you will receive from the marriage, and I am sure you are both aware of what the other is looking for. Go for it, Jake and let the devil take the hindmost.Jack and Marie

[Lordblacknail]

GreetingsI mentioned in another topic about my up coming marriage to a younger woman,my family of grown adults and my 2 younger sisters as well as my friends have been criticizing and blasting advice from every angle. You see I am a self funded retiree aged 60 and my lady is only 19. Some of the things said to me when I announced our plans were so discouraging and hurtful. I have been called a dirty old man,stupid, a nut case to name but a few.My own sister has taken the stance that she wont have anything to do with me or us if I go through with the marriage and this also appears to be influencing my kids.My feelings towards Jocelyn are true and I am positive hers are the same,nothing seems to convince any one else,a friend continually lets me know that he thinks she is out for my money but he has never even met her.All of this is taking its toll,its now at the point I avoid my family and friends. Why cant they understand that we both are inlove? I am beginning to question myself which is making me angry and at times upset over the whole matter.Has any of the group had to deal with a situation like this?Am I wrong to follow my heart? is Jocelyn to young for me.I will appreciate some guidance here.Thanks Retired Alf

Hi AlfSorry, I am new to the forum and posted my reply to your post below to the wrong post. Just scroll down and you will see it. Cheers.Jack and Marie