Art2ro Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 My sweet and short comment: We all just have to go with the flow and deal with what comes our way in our daily lives! From all of our past experiences, we all know by now what to do eh! :wt-hell: Different strokes for different folks! :wt-hell::wt-hell::yes::lol::no::565::bash: :bonk: :1 (103): :lol: :wave: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jim Sibbick Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 Easy, make them work for it. Tell them that you had to work hard for your money and they will have to work for it too. There is always something that needs doing. My favourite is massage.It is amzing how many who don't need money if they have to work for it.It it is equally pleasing to see greatful relatives with a few hundred pisos in their pocket that they have earned.By the way, did you know before dinner that you would be paying for it?Regards: Jim:wt-hell: that is a good idea but I have no work for them to do as of yet so it would not work for me. no they did not tell me up front & had I known before we got there then I would never have gone. communication is 1 of many problems here & I had been warned of issues I might face so I had made myself clear ahead of time & still got the shaft so :lol:If you don't want to have a massage, what about some one washing your clothes or cleaning your apartment. Do you own a car? You can have them chauffer you around. What about sending some one to buy your beer or buy your groceries. Do you film? Use some one to set up the camera and carry your bags. I am sure you can think of a whole bunch of things if you put your mind to it. Just so long as nobody gets they idea they can get something for nothing.The other important thing with me is never to lend money. If I have made a decision to hand over money, i will call it a present. That way there is no loss of face because they can't pay it back.Regards: Jim Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UZI Posted September 6, 2010 Posted September 6, 2010 The other important thing with me is never to lend money. If I have made a decision to hand over money, i will call it a present. That way there is no loss of face because they can't pay it back. My thoughts exactly Jim :wt-hell: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom in Texas Posted September 7, 2010 Posted September 7, 2010 ...I know I am generalizing but that was 3 for 3 so far I have not met a non vampire family here yet... that first lady still text me & we meet & talk every now & then so she still wants to see me but I cannot learn to deal with her vampire family....Traveler,Since talking about money, etc., is not a taboo subject (just the opposite, it seems) as it is in some cultures... why not just ask and get the financial expectations issues out of the way up front before you proceed with the relationship, such as:- Who does her family consist of - Parents, brothers, sisters, other relatives in the home or nearby;- Parents age, health, employment and source of support;- Siblings and their spouses ages, marital status, employment and source of support;- Who relies on her parents or siblings for support;- Who relies on her for support at the present time;- Whose house does she live in, and what other family or others live there, and who owns house and land;- Does she prefer to remain in the RP near her family;- What amount of regular support, if any, does she expect you to provide to her family;- What other type of support does she expect for her family, such as housing, medical, education, etc.;These are a few obvious one I can think of... there are probably only about 2,000 more.Whatever the answers... things may change or be beyond her control... but at least you have some general feeling for the subject.Just my 2 cents worth. Tom in Big D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Travis Posted September 7, 2010 Author Posted September 7, 2010 ...I know I am generalizing but that was 3 for 3 so far I have not met a non vampire family here yet... that first lady still text me & we meet & talk every now & then so she still wants to see me but I cannot learn to deal with her vampire family....Traveler,Since talking about money, etc., is not a taboo subject (just the opposite, it seems) as it is in some cultures... why not just ask and get the financial expectations issues out of the way up front before you proceed with the relationship, such as:- Who does her family consist of - Parents, brothers, sisters, other relatives in the home or nearby;- Parents age, health, employment and source of support;- Siblings and their spouses ages, marital status, employment and source of support;- Who relies on her parents or siblings for support;- Who relies on her for support at the present time;- Whose house does she live in, and what other family or others live there, and who owns house and land;- Does she prefer to remain in the RP near her family;- What amount of regular support, if any, does she expect you to provide to her family;- What other type of support does she expect for her family, such as housing, medical, education, etc.;These are a few obvious one I can think of... there are probably only about 2,000 more.Whatever the answers... things may change or be beyond her control... but at least you have some general feeling for the subject.Just my 2 cents worth. Tom in Big D thank you tom I actually did all that & she said they were not demanding of her & as soon as they found out she was dating me then the pressure on her for money began Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Art2ro Posted September 7, 2010 Posted September 7, 2010 Yeah, I've heard or read plenty of stories about family, relatives, friends or whoever asking for hand outs of every kind and reasons! In my younger days when I was earning good money, I was loose, but practical with my money and gave only to those asking for money for reasonable cases, but kept enough money aside for my wife and I to live on comfortably. Prior to my early retirement, we stopped the gravy train dead on it's tracks and moved to the Philippines in a nice and quiet secluded gated subdivision away from family and relatives. 12 years later, we're still here in the Philippines and doing nicely! We both still have family and other relatives here in the Philippines, but they only ask for small amounts of money now and then that we can manage without breaking the piggy bank. It's just my wife and I living in our home, we don't allow long staying visitors and anyone wanting to come for a visit, have to call first in advance! We are still kicked back and still enjoying our retirement! Life is what we make it to be! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tom in Texas Posted September 8, 2010 Posted September 8, 2010 - Does she prefer to remain in the RP near her family; ... as soon as they found out she was dating me then the pressure on her for money began moved... away from family and relatives.... ***It's just my wife and I living in our home, we don't allow long staying visitors and anyone wanting to come for a visit, have to call first in advance! Life is what we make it to be! Traveler... Yeah, its a tough problem we all face in one form or another... family can put a lot of stress on us by applying pressure on the gf or awawa.Thats the reason for the question above of whether your prospective gf is willing to move away from the family... If no other method of controlling the stress is successful, then I think Art's solution is the most effective. If gf does not understand and agree that will be the "solution" if necessary... then you may be looking for #4, #5, etc.I am fortunate in that my asawa is the gatekeeper on financial help with her familiy... she is waaaaay tougher on them than I would ever be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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