With Cell Phones Is Anywhere Far Enough Away

[Travis]

have any of you successfully escaped from blood sucking family by moving far away but still in the Philippines somewhere?

[Inspector]

I'm going to try now....as of today, the age old "move 3 hours away" rule is not working because of the phones. We've "lost" the cell phone and kept the landline on the magic jack, but the helper is from her province area, and her mom simply texts her requests (demands) and instructions (orders) to the helper (gets the number from the helpers mom) to relay to us (or calls on it), who is also amazed as to how brazen this woman can be, and exactly what I am to her...cha ching, ATM. I will let you know how it turns out when I get off Cebu, if my relationship is still good, and if the calls and the rest of the filipino begging bullshet ceases. I give my GF an allowance to spend on herself....and she sends her mom and dad what she wants. I am totally out of it then, but you really need to see how they work it for more and more, and guilt trips they can leave on her. And her family are not poor, the the pedal trike in the province sense. Listen, I am TOTALLY against sexpats, but you sometimes have to wonder if they are the smart ones, being playboys with the little lies of promises, and not having to supply the family with equal amounts of gifts to purchase. ....and for what it is worth, you might hear of a few expats say they are not requested by family, but read their posts or listen to their words closely. It is always followed by a, well...emergency, or schooling, or they simply are sexpats in posting disguise...or one post in this very forum I had a chuckle reading, forget where I read it... where the guy says he is lucky that the family never asks him for money, but follows that up with a "but" that does not mean I never give it. Well, umm...yeah, I guess they don't ask because you already help them. :thats-funny:I've heard that single moms from the province might be best to date traveler regarding the family begging....but again, that is only what I heard. I was sitting with a high up politician at his birthday here in Cebu, and he probably made my GF understand more about the corruption and begging of families in this country then I could ever do. He hates it, said it is ruining his country (ruined if I could of spoken my mind), and he personally will NEVER take anything from any OFW in his family, and that goes for the rest...as he says it breeds laziness. The man is full of pride, and somebody I now call a good friend as we talk quite a bit as he now is finally retiring and moving back here fulltime from Manila. There ARE filipino's that have pride, and do not beg. They are out there...the problem is finding them, as MOST young attractive pinays are simply looking at many old foreigners as a meal ticket for her, and her family. Hey, try and find a nurse that wants to get to the USA....move back married. If she leaves you for a young stud at the hospital, collect alimony from HER, and come back to the PI dating.... living on her dime. :DFunny, but I know a retired navy friend in subic that is doing that exact plan....not sure I would go that route, but being you are not a "rich" american, like many filipono think we all are...that is always an evil option. She can be your very own OFW...or you hit it big and the pinay actually loves you, and you live in America comfy, and she sends back only a piece of her large salary....while you get all the first world comforts as well as the support, love and smile only a beautiful pinay can give.

[Mr Lee]

have any of you successfully escaped from blood sucking family by moving far away but still in the Philippines somewhere?

OK T and others, while I know some of you have had problems with ladies families, and so have I at times because of my own stupidity at the beginning, the term blood sucking has to stop because IMO it is not proper to insult our host countries people. Lets try to be more gentle and just say relatives that continually ask for money or something along those lines. My advice would be to have two cell phones or just disregard all requests for money as if you never got them. I would say that an allowance of some sort would be a good thing and I would tell the family, that is all they get and if they ask for more then even the allowance will stop, and if they do ask, then you have your excuse to give nothing. I feel families should be happy that one of their children was able to have a better life, but it seems that many also want their share of the pie. Last I do not feel that any distance will solve the problem except out of sight out of contact would help, I would say that it is up to the lady to put her foot down and in inspectors case, I would tell the maid to delete all text asking for money and to not reply to them if she wishes to keep her job, and if that does not work then I would get rid of her and find a maid who is not known to the family.  

[Tom in Texas]

***I was sitting with a high up politician at his birthday here in Cebu,... and he personally will NEVER take anything from any OFW in his family,... The man is full of pride, and somebody I now call a good friend... There ARE filipino's that have pride, and do not beg....***

I am not disagreeing with the sentiments expressed... but I know many "rich" people who claim to be too "proud" to beg..., to apply for unemployment, ...to accept food stamps,... to move in with their relatives..., etc., etc.I'm not sure the proud man with a full belly eating inside a restaurant has the proper perspective to judge the humbled starving begger who has his nose pressed against the restaurant window.Tom in Texas

[Jake]

Hello Traveler,Oh, how you remind me of my darker days when I also felt bitterness against my own people. My frustration blew upone day and next thing I knew, I was back in the States without my wife Judy. Fortunately, everything is all good nowand I'm willing to get it right next time. What's the difference? It was me all along -- too Americanized and too proudto empathize with the desperation of the common people. I'm sure most of us have seen or heard of the following: very young beggars "borrowing infants" to carry around inorder to increase their chance to feed themselves; young teenagers sniffing "Rugby" (liquid glue) to temporarily relieve their hunger pains and the beggars pressing their noses against the restaurant window. Thank you Tom, for that stark and vivid reminder -- they were once treated like swatting a nuisance fly but they areafter all, a fellow human being who deserves at least a smile from a stranger.Respectfully -- Jake

[Inspector]

***I was sitting with a high up politician at his birthday here in Cebu,... and he personally will NEVER take anything from any OFW in his family,... The man is full of pride, and somebody I now call a good friend... There ARE filipino's that have pride, and do not beg....***

I am not disagreeing with the sentiments expressed... but I know many "rich" people who claim to be too "proud" to beg..., to apply for unemployment, ...to accept food stamps,... to move in with their relatives..., etc., etc.I'm not sure the proud man with a full belly eating inside a restaurant has the proper perspective to judge the humbled starving begger who has his nose pressed against the restaurant window.Tom in Texas

Agreed with most cases here Tom regarding the corrupt politicians, but not this 67 year old. Trust me on this...guy is all ABOUT charity, and built one of the first squatter developments and biggest, in Manila. He has also changed from being a Catholic, to a southern baptist, is very outspoken on over population as well, and the catholic church, although he respects their faith, like many of us foreigners, hates to see starving children. There ARE filipino's that are aware of the problems here, and DO have pride. He was NOT born with the silver spoon....almost sounds like you are shocked that there is actually a politician here that has some integrity and knows what is going on around him, and wants to see change for the better of his country, and not greasing his pocket. :DAnd Lee....the helper has already been informed of this solution to the begging. You and I have emailed each other about my situation, and I appreciate all the advice you have given me my friend, and I certainly learned quite a bit with all the mistakes you have made early on. :cheers:There is a HUGE trade off with falling for a pinay...and that is the HUGE family. I would love to hear from a foreigner that has a pinay GF, relationship or wife...that has never given, nor asked for anything from family for anything. Playboys and sexpats with their false promises or bargirl users not included. It's impossible due to the culture, and poverty...only thing that can be done is keep it controlled. IMHO of course. :yes:

[ekimswish]

There is a HUGE trade off with falling for a pinay...and that is the HUGE family. I would love to hear from a foreigner that has a pinay GF, relationship or wife...that has never given, nor asked for anything from family for anything. Playboys and sexpats with their false promises or bargirl users not included. It's impossible due to the culture, and poverty...only thing that can be done is keep it controlled. IMHO of course. :yes:

I can't qualify as someone who's never been asked by family for anything (wife's family), but it hasn't been that bad (yet?). My wife comes from a broken home which has kind of scattered - mom, pop, sister, and brother all in different places - so lucky me, they're not the traditional family all hanging out under one roof "looking out for" each other. Her sister tried really hard to scam us and we just kept saying no. Her brother has only once asked for money (2,000 pesos to cover rent) in 3 years, and that was a tough time for him between sh&tty jobs that weren't paying out. Other than that, because of his talents and skills, I tell him all the time that if he wants, I'll go into business with him because I believe he's got more to offer than working at the call center. Her mom collects a teacher's pension as well as some harvest shares and never asks us for money, and has actually spent her own money to help us out with the step-kids. She lived with the step-kids and nanny for a year in Manila, so it's fair to say she could've been floated by us, but she has since returned to the province, and we send her nothing. She's actually helped us pay for hog feeds when we've come up short a few times. She took a loan for the sister-in-law to go work in Palau, over a year ago, so since then her pension has only been half it's normal amount, paying back the loan. Meanwhile, the sister-in-law did zero to pay her back. My father-in-law has a very shady past, but hasn't out-right asked us for money. When the kids were first staying in Manila, we would send the money to his name and tell him how to spend it. For several months, the money was never spent how we wanted it. Either the rent or the nanny wouldn't get paid. We stopped sending to him, and sent to the mother-in-law instead, and never had any problems. Other than that debacle, he hasn't actually asked for money. I expect him to get sick someday and play the sympathy card without actually "asking" for money, but it hasn't happened yet, and I'm not sure it will happen. He's already been quite sick apparently. After the way he treated their family, I'm not sure he'd deserve the money (long story). The way the sister-in-law tried to scam us was pretty obvious. She was working in Palau, and we'd heard through the grapevine that her girlfriend was having some problems. That's when she told us she had a car accident with her boss's car and needed $100 or $200 to pay for damage or she'd go to jail. I convinced my wife it was BS because you wouldn't go to jail for something that small (not sure actually if that's right). I said they would just take it out of her salary, and maybe she'd pay a small fine. But car accidents aren't actually criminal. I also thought $100 doesn't pay for much on a damaged car. She also said that because she couldn't drive the car, she couldn't go to work, and she might lose her job, blah blah. For several weeks she kept sending emergency messages to my wife about the recent turn of events and how much trouble she was in. We told her no, and go figure, she never went to jail either. Soon after, her girlfriend returned to PI and left her for a seaman with some cash, had his baby, and now is considering going back to the sister. Draaaaaamaaaa......Anways, to sum it up, I trust the brother and mother, who are very good people. They've proven it time and time again. The brother used to starve his way through college rather than ask his mother for money. He's got a lot of pride and I believe he's one of those types who would rather make it on his own in the Philippines, than leave to work abroad. I wouldn't touch the sister with a ten dollar pole. She's a scammer. Before I met my wife, she sent money from Korea to the sister to buy a house for her. She bought a shack in a squater area and spent the rest on her and girlfriend's applications to Palau. Father in law... He could've changed into the greatest guy in the world by now, but the way he abandoned them, I don't think he deserves help even if he asks for it. But I'll leave that up to my wife who seems to have forgiven him. Mother and brother, good; sister and father, bad.

[Inspector]

inspectors case, I would tell the maid to delete all text asking for money and to not reply to them if she wishes to keep her job, and if that does not work then I would get rid of her and find a maid who is not known to the family.

Well, just as I am sitting here watching the Giants vs Colts while posting on my sport forum, the maid comes in and says a text from mom. I lower the volume and ask, money request, and she says yes. I say delete it, but the better half says no, and reads it. Wants an "advance" from what she usually gives her. Well, I call the maid over and read her the exact thing you just wrote Lee...so she says she will get a new sim card, and tell her mom she will be fired if the number is leaked to the blood s....excuse me, the nice reasonable begging mom who is my host to her wonderful country. :lol:It NEVER ends. :yes:

[Travis]

I am happy to see this topic discussed & I hope more people will give their advice here coz this young lady is a great catch based on all I know of her byt I am afraid that she will turn into her mother coz they say the apple does not fall far from the tree. I asked her if she would be comfortable throwing away her sim card & cutting all ties & she said no coz they are her family so for now no dice & I am still leaving on a jet plane 1 day in the not too distant future & I told her so

[brock]

I am happy to see this topic discussed & I hope more people will give their advice here coz this young lady is a great catch based on all I know of her byt I am afraid that she will turn into her mother coz they say the apple does not fall far from the tree. I asked her if she would be comfortable throwing away her sim card & cutting all ties & she said no coz they are her family so for now no dice & I am still leaving on a jet plane 1 day in the not too distant future & I told her so

Hi.You cannot seriously ask a girl to give up contact with her own family, What if she asked you to do the same thing, I know what I would say, I would tell them to get lost and find someone else.When I married my wife, I accepted her family, and she accepted mine, I have been with her for 8 years now, Her mother and father live at our house, But sadly my father inlaw died 2 weeks ago, He was a lovely man, and never asked me for anything, I shall truely miss him, My family in the Philippines all live within a few hundred yards, They have never ever asked for anything, They dont have too....If I know they need something, Then I give it to them, After all, They are my family too, I know that if ever I needed their help they would be there for me.Maybe the best thing to say to this girl is that you will support her, But you cannot afford to support her family too, and that it is no good her family asking for money anytime because the answer will always be NO, If she can accept that, all well and good, But you cannot expect her to give up her family for you, To be honest, I wouldnt want a girl that would do that.Anyway good luck in your decision.Regards Brock.