Good Manners, Where Is It Learned?

[Mr Lee]

The one major pet peeve and culture shock that I always experience after getting here, is how some people here seem to be oblivious to what is going on around them. No it is not just Filipinos, I have seen quite a few round eyes who act exactly the same way. As my wife and I walk around the malls, we continually find groups of people standing right in the middle of a walk path and either blocking it totally, which forces us to have to switch sides, or blocking it so much that we have to squeeze around those blocking the path and I know that they must be aware and see people do that, yet they fail to move. In the supermarket the last few times, I noticed people putting their wagons right in the middle of the path so that no one could get by and then seem to get annoyed when I move their shopping cart so I can get past it. Some say sorry and I say thank you, but others glare at me for having the nerve to move their cart. Am I wrong to move their carts? I wonder how you all handle these inconsiderate people? I have been tempted to walk right into the middle of them, and if I was not with my wife, then I would do so and just push them out of the way as I pass. While I also see this in Florida and other parts of the US, and most often it is non English speakers who are the ones doing it, but many Americans also have no manners, so I have to wonder if manners was only taught in the US or if those people were absent from class during those lessons. Please understand that I am not attacking any culture in particular, it is just that I do not know if these things are taught in other countries, and if they are, then why the heck don't many people act properly towards others?

[Art2ro]

My wife and I do our grocery shopping at SM Mall once a week and have lunch there before we do our grocery shopping. While eating lunch, I've observed a lot of people walking around doing the typical window shopping buying nothing, people sitting around watching other people and there are those just walking around in circles like zombies with their heads down in serious thought or talking to themselves while paying no attention where they are or who has to walk around them to get by! Being in a mall, is a free for all, anything goes and has nothing to do with manners because it's not a one on one interaction with people you know, but of zombies or just an in-coincidental "bumper pool" reaction sort of thing of who's in one's path just taking up space with no purpose in life at that moment in time that one bumps into them or into anyone for no particular reason, because it's just mainly due to people congestion only in Malls or anywhere where large numbers of people gather! Church of any faith is different, because everyone already has been conditioned to mind one's manners and to behave accordingly from day 1!

[Old55]

LOL Lee you are so right most are so darn clueless, it’s amazing sometimes!In most cases it’s simply lack of awareness. But folks are Provencal (understandable) and a sadly few think of themselves as privileged or entitled… both round eyes and a few local Filipino “royalty”. It would be wise to go easy moving someone’s carts or the like as you don’t want to cause loss of face could be a sensitive situation. My wife was well educated and fairly sophisticated before we met. When she first got to the States she would do some of the things you mentioned like standing in a doorway or egressing an escalator and immediately stopping blocking others behind us. I would call it out to her and she would have a confused look on her face…. Absolutely cracked me up.I don’t see many Filipinos who behave rudely like Chinese who will shamelessly cut in line or elbow or jostle others.

[Jake]

The one major pet peeve and culture shock that I always experience after getting here, is how some people here seem to be oblivious to what is going on around them. No it is not just Filipinos, I have seen quite a few round eyes who act exactly the same way. As my wife and I walk around the malls, we continually find groups of people standing right in the middle of a walk path and either blocking it totally, which forces us to have to switch sides, or blocking it so much that we have to squeeze around those blocking the path and I know that they must be aware and see people do that, yet they fail to move. In the supermarket the last few times, I noticed people putting their wagons right in the middle of the path so that no one could get by and then seem to get annoyed when I move their shopping cart so I can get past it. Some say sorry and I say thank you, but others glare at me for having the nerve to move their cart. Am I wrong to move their carts? I wonder how you all handle these inconsiderate people? I have been tempted to walk right into the middle of them, and if I was not with my wife, then I would do so and just push them out of the way as I pass. While I also see this in Florida and other parts of the US, and most often it is non English speakers who are the ones doing it, but many Americans also have no manners, so I have to wonder if manners was only taught in the US or if those people were absent from class during those lessons. Please understand that I am not attacking any culture in particular, it is just that I do not know if these things are taught in other countries, and if they are, then why the heck don't many people act properly towards others?

Well, allow me to list my own frustrations: spitting, cutting in line, no personal space, public littering, urinating in public, talking out loud in a movie theater, occupying two lanes while driving, aristocratic attitude....did I miss anything? Oh yeah, while attending college in Manila we had to rearrange our seating prior to taking the final exam. It was time wasted just to prevent cheating. Even the pseudo rich and powerful or fake aristocrats often times display arrogant attitude like "don't you know who I am or my cousin is a PNP major, which is called name dropping. And don't forget about tsismis (gossiping), especially false tsismis due to crab mentality that is motivated by jealousy. As a Filipino-American however, I do have the luxury of speaking out (mostly in English) and call them out. Most of them do act surprise. If my smile or politeness doesn't work - then I raise my voice and say EXCUSE ME with a stern look. Respectfully -- Jake

[Dave Hounddriver]

I had to laugh in Rose Pharmacy last night. There is a sign, "for better service take a number". A man took number 30. They were serving number 26 but he wanted "better service" I guess, because he went to the front of the line and gave his number to the counter girl and started telling her what he needed. She served him ahead of the other people.Ya just gotta smile or you'll go nuts because that kind of thing goes on a lot here.