Married Kano Posted March 18, 2011 Posted March 18, 2011 (edited) We have all heard about and maybe even had to deal with a case of road rage in our home county at one time or another. But what about the surprise and angry feelings one experiences when someone deliberately cuts in front of you at a check out line at the grocery store, bank or other place of business? Add to this that it happens on a day you are in no mood to be screwed with. Do you say something or just let it go?Where I come from in Southern California, if that happens the offender is very quickly told about it and at the same time told in a very stern way where the end of the line is. After quite a few years of living in the Philippines now I have seen this many times over the years. It has happened to me a few times as well with nothing said about it by me at the time.I have always figured its because of lack of education maybe and they just don’t know any better. So I have always let it slide and have not said anything to an offender. That is until the other day…I had gone to a local pharmacy to get something for a headache I had that was bad enough to make even child birth seem like a pleasant alternative. After waiting MY turn in line and finally at the counter and ready to be waited on, a Filipino woman in her mid 30’s that looked like a wrestler from the Friday Night Smack Down show on TV pushed her way in front of me and tried to place her order.Well, feeling as bad as I did and needing to tend the headache and get out of the heat anyway, I had finally had enough and gave this woman an education in “good manners and right conduct” as they would say in the school system here.I tapped this woman on the shoulder and told her “I had to wait my turn in line and you will do the same.” And pointing far behind me told her “the line starts back there!!!”With a look that could kill and saying a few angry words in her native language that I could not understand, she turned and took her place at the end of the line. Maybe this woman really didn’t know any better. But judging from her reaction I would assume that she was use to doing anything she pleased wherever she goes and most likely getting away with it. But not on this day.I guess the point is that even as a guest in a foreign country, geographic location on the earth does not change right and wrong or excuse bad manners and behavior. And there comes a point when it really is okay to speak up for your own rights… Edited March 18, 2011 by Married Kano Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake Posted March 18, 2011 Posted March 18, 2011 As I mentioned before, frustration dealing with the locals was very stressful for me. Several times I had to deal witharrogance (and they know better) and called them out and embarrass them in public. For example, I actually reversed my vehicle to prevent another vehicle to merge behind me. I saw him coming from my side view mirror, passing allthe other cars that waited patiently. I left him hanging on the opposing lane and blocking the flow of traffic. Yeah, Imost definitely gave him a stern look. Fixers at Bureau of Immigrations, arrogant teenagers at Jolibee or local colleges -- they all received my stern warningand most of them respond in a positive way. Others I had to "elevate" the situation by further explaining in English anda few choice Taglish words. I would not recommend this to anyone, since I'm Filipino and can get away with it most ofthe time. What I do suggest is exactly what Married Kano has done. Embarrass that person by calling him/her out, point to the end of the line while maintaining stern eye contact and then watch your back as you leave the premises. Those peopledo not lack education, these so called low level aristocrats already have college degrees in rudeness.Respectfully -- Jake Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Lee Posted March 19, 2011 Posted March 19, 2011 a Filipino woman in her mid 30’s that looked like a wrestler from the Friday Night Smack Down show on TV I feel the one quote above taken from the OP is very telling and tells me that the woman was far from poor and quite possibly either upper class Filipino, married to a foreigner, or just acting as if she is upper class, when her actions actually show she has no class at all. I have found that we are often not liked by many of the upper class here, and most will not marry foreigners because their family would not allow it. So where am I going with this, because she is or thinks she is upper class, she feels an entitlement to not have to wait online and possibly even a distaste for the foreigner, so she figures she will show everyone that she is better than them all, including the foreigner. My solution to that is, rarely to be confrontational, since we are guests in this country, yet at the same time it would have been quite hard to just stand there and take it, so in that situation I would definitely not have touched the lady, or even spoken harsh words to her, because we as foreigner can be charged and deported for doing so, but I would have told the sales person loudly that I was here first and that the women in question just pushed her way in front of the line. In other words try to embarrass her without talking directly to her since she would be the type of person who is not worth even my breath. Most often when I see people such as that in a department store getting on an escalator, or walking up to a door that I am already entering such as a bank, then I will hold the door for them, or let them go in front of me on the escalator and say ladies first. I feel that acts of kindness often has more impact on changing peoples minds about who we are and how they will act towards us in the future, sort of reverse psychology, and besides it is their country and I am retired and rarely in a rush to do much nowadays, so slow and steady is the path I take, and not getting upset over stuff like that keeps my blood pressure down, but I fully understand why it upset you and why you did what you did. I just do not wish to take a chance of being charged with unjust vexation, as I have read many times of people who raised their voices to Filipinos getting charged with, or possibly charged with an even more severe crime, and end up deported or even worse, end up in one of their hell hole jails here for years while it all gets sorted out, and then tens of thousands of dollars later probably end up deported anyway. Grin and bear it is my advice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Married Kano Posted March 19, 2011 Author Posted March 19, 2011 Hi Mr. Lee, I see your point. In banks and other locations I have never had a difficult time with locals no matter the social standig they hold. This happend in a Pinatubo resettlement town and the woman was far from a first class citizen. The locals would have a hard time charging me with any violation of law. First because I would not break a law. Second, I am a member of law enforcement myself (Brgy Police and PNP drug enforcement.) As a matter of fact, a few days after this event at the pharmacy I arrested and put her daughter in jail for violating Republic Act 7612 (child abuse.) I am in no way above the law. But I do know the law and would never use my position to excuse myself for my actions. This was simply a low class, uneducated, overbearing woman that was simply but quite firmly put in her place, Since then she has changed her attitude it seems and greet my wife and I on the street and even a friendly word as she walks by the police station from time to time. Being in the police we see the worst in everyone almost every day and normally I would have just let this go at the pharmacy. But she just picked the wrong day to pull that on me and I guess it was just her day to learn a good lesson. Gene a Filipino woman in her mid 30’s that looked like a wrestler from the Friday Night Smack Down show on TV I feel the one quote above taken from the OP is very telling and tells me that the woman was far from poor and quite possibly either upper class Filipino, married to a foreigner, or just acting as if she is upper class, when her actions actually show she has no class at all.I have found that we are often not liked by many of the upper class here, and most will not marry foreigners because their family would not allow it. So where am I going with this, because she is or thinks she is upper class, she feels an entitlement to not have to wait online and possibly even a distaste for the foreigner, so she figures she will show everyone that she is better than them all, including the foreigner. My solution to that is, rarely to be confrontational, since we are guests in this country, yet at the same time it would have been quite hard to just stand there and take it, so in that situation I would definitely not have touched the lady, or even spoken harsh words to her, because we as foreigner can be charged and deported for doing so, but I would have told the sales person loudly that I was here first and that the women in question just pushed her way in front of the line. In other words try to embarrass her without talking directly to her since she would be the type of person who is not worth even my breath.Most often when I see people such as that in a department store getting on an escalator, or walking up to a door that I am already entering such as a bank, then I will hold the door for them, or let them go in front of me on the escalator and say ladies first. I feel that acts of kindness often has more impact on changing peoples minds about who we are and how they will act towards us in the future, sort of reverse psychology, and besides it is their country and I am retired and rarely in a rush to do much nowadays, so slow and steady is the path I take, and not getting upset over stuff like that keeps my blood pressure down, but I fully understand why it upset you and why you did what you did. I just do not wish to take a chance of being charged with unjust vexation, as I have read many times of people who raised their voices to Filipinos getting charged with, or possibly charged with an even more severe crime, and end up deported or even worse, end up in one of their hell hole jails here for years while it all gets sorted out, and then tens of thousands of dollars later probably end up deported anyway. Grin and bear it is my advice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Lee Posted March 19, 2011 Posted March 19, 2011 Hi Mr. Lee, I see your point. In banks and other locations I have never had a difficult time with locals no matter the social standig they hold. This happend in a Pinatubo resettlement town and the woman was far from a first class citizen. The locals would have a hard time charging me with any violation of law. First because I would not break a law. Second, I am a member of law enforcement myself (Brgy Police and PNP drug enforcement.) As a matter of fact, a few days after this event at the pharmacy I arrested and put her daughter in jail for violating Republic Act 7612 (child abuse.) I am in no way above the law. But I do know the law and would never use my position to excuse myself for my actions. This was simply a low class, uneducated, overbearing woman that was simply but quite firmly put in her place, Since then she has changed her attitude it seems and greet my wife and I on the street and even a friendly word as she walks by the police station from time to time. Being in the police we see the worst in everyone almost every day and normally I would have just let this go at the pharmacy. But she just picked the wrong day to pull that on me and I guess it was just her day to learn a good lesson. Gene Well Gene it seems you are connected, so you would be safe, and she probably did not know who you are, or what you do, but for the average kano here, it might not be a good idea to do what you did because just touching the wrong Filipino on the shoulder and raising our voice to them, could cause the average kano a serious problem, but I am glad you are connected and therefore would never end up in trouble in circumstances such as the one above.I find many Filipinos telling me "you are different sir" so I ask what does that mean and many explain that I treat them as the equals that they are, and deserve to be treated like, and that so many foreigners treat them poorly, and I have seen that first hand myself all too often. I guess the lady you mentioned must have a good source of income in order for her to fit the description you mentioned, maybe a few OFW in her family sending money home, or who knows what but I guess it can happen with all classes of people and I am glad she is now in her place. :dance: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Married Kano Posted March 19, 2011 Author Posted March 19, 2011 Thanks again for the reply. Ya know I've even heard of a foreigner touching a Filipina on the arm or sholder and then her family think the guy should marry her. Good grief, glad that didnt happen---one wife for me is enough :dance: Hahaha!!! Hi Mr. Lee, I see your point. In banks and other locations I have never had a difficult time with locals no matter the social standig they hold. This happend in a Pinatubo resettlement town and the woman was far from a first class citizen. The locals would have a hard time charging me with any violation of law. First because I would not break a law. Second, I am a member of law enforcement myself (Brgy Police and PNP drug enforcement.) As a matter of fact, a few days after this event at the pharmacy I arrested and put her daughter in jail for violating Republic Act 7612 (child abuse.) I am in no way above the law. But I do know the law and would never use my position to excuse myself for my actions. This was simply a low class, uneducated, overbearing woman that was simply but quite firmly put in her place, Since then she has changed her attitude it seems and greet my wife and I on the street and even a friendly word as she walks by the police station from time to time. Being in the police we see the worst in everyone almost every day and normally I would have just let this go at the pharmacy. But she just picked the wrong day to pull that on me and I guess it was just her day to learn a good lesson. Gene Well Gene it seems you are connected, so you would be safe, and she probably did not know who you are, or what you do, but for the average kano here, it might not be a good idea to do what you did because just touching the wrong Filipino on the shoulder and raising our voice to them, could cause the average kano a serious problem, but I am glad you are connected and therefore would never end up in trouble in circumstances such as the one above.I find many Filipinos telling me "you are different sir" so I ask what does that mean and many explain that I treat them as the equals that they are, and deserve to be treated like, and that so many foreigners treat them poorly, and I have seen that first hand myself all too often. I guess the lady you mentioned must have a good source of income in order for her to fit the description you mentioned, maybe a few OFW in her family sending money home, or who knows what but I guess it can happen with all classes of people and I am glad she is now in her place. :dance: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gapotwo Posted March 19, 2011 Posted March 19, 2011 married kano, you must be very connected if you are an american and a member of the barangay police and PNP narco squad. i am philippine born and raised, but i dont think i could swing that one. more power to you........tanks ej. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gapotwo Posted March 19, 2011 Posted March 19, 2011 buy the way ,witch is it? barangay police ? or national police?:36_1_50[1]: tanks ej. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Married Kano Posted March 19, 2011 Author Posted March 19, 2011 Not really connected. In fact, not at all. I was involved years ago in a minor traffic accident in our barrio. Was taken to the local PNP station for the accident investigation. When all was done my wife and I were both asked to join. It seemed a good way to kind of repay the kindness everyone here had shown me after moving here. So, we have just stayed and tried to help as much as possible. But I must admit-I'm starting to get a little too old to be chasing the bad guys down the street at 2:00am! Hahaha. Thanks for the reply, take care.. Gene married kano, you must be very connected if you are an american and a member of the barangay police and PNP narco squad. i am philippine born and raised, but i dont think i could swing that one. more power to you........tanks ej. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Married Kano Posted March 19, 2011 Author Posted March 19, 2011 Brgy Police most of the time although have cut back on night times spent there. PNP when there is an operation or used for special duty out of town. Getting many foreigners in the area so am used by Brgy many times for foreign relations issues. Many foreigners think they know everything or try to make things work their way and get to be a general pain in the tail. But thats the most interesting and also the safest duty. Gene buy the way ,witch is it? barangay police ? or national police?:36_1_50[1]: tanks ej. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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