Wait Your Turn!

[Old55]

You are much braver than I am. I would never have tapped the woman on the arm or raised my voice in any way. Maybe I would have politely and kindly informed her that I was the next one in line with a smile. You made her lose face and she could have caused problems for you.We have zero rights while in Philippines in fact often Foreigners are a scapegoat for money or spite just because “they” can get away with it.FWIW in general Filipinos are a hundred percent nicer than Chinese. I can’t count the times some nice old Chinese woman elbowed me to get ahead.

[Married Kano]

Yes, she did "loose face" and that was exactly my desired intention. But she is responcibile for the result of her own actions-not I. There has never been a problem arise from it and quite honestly, I don't care one way or the other. Rude is rude and if someone gets in my face I'll jump right back in theirs. I'm nice to people whenever possible but at the same time I'm no pushover. The setups and problems that foreignes have being scapegoats does happen without a doubt. Most of that is centered in and arouond tourist spots. Angeles City-Balibago has a horrible history of ripoffs and setup. A good percentage are actually run by and for the benefit of the police. Just another reason I stay completely out of that and other tourist areas. Gene

You are much braver than I am. I would never have tapped the woman on the arm or raised my voice in any way. Maybe I would have politely and kindly informed her that I was the next one in line with a smile. You made her lose face and she could have caused problems for you.We have zero rights while in Philippines in fact often Foreigners are a scapegoat for money or spite just because “they” can get away with it.FWIW in general Filipinos are a hundred percent nicer than Chinese. I can’t count the times some nice old Chinese woman elbowed me to get ahead.

[Old55]

Yes, she did "loose face" and that was exactly my desired intention. But she is responcibile for the result of her own actions-not I. There has never been a problem arise from it and quite honestly, I don't care one way or the other. Rude is rude and if someone gets in my face I'll jump right back in theirs. I'm nice to people whenever possible but at the same time I'm no pushover. The setups and problems that foreignes have being scapegoats does happen without a doubt. Most of that is centered in and arouond tourist spots. Angeles City-Balibago has a horrible history of ripoffs and setup. A good percentage are actually run by and for the benefit of the police. Just another reason I stay completely out of that and other tourist areas. Gene

You are much braver than I am. I would never have tapped the woman on the arm or raised my voice in any way. Maybe I would have politely and kindly informed her that I was the next one in line with a smile. You made her lose face and she could have caused problems for you.We have zero rights while in Philippines in fact often Foreigners are a scapegoat for money or spite just because “they” can get away with it.FWIW in general Filipinos are a hundred percent nicer than Chinese. I can’t count the times some nice old Chinese woman elbowed me to get ahead.

I forget that you live there full time Gene I know you have a much better feel for when it's OK to stand up for yourself or when to let it go. As a visitor I don't have that knowledge or experience and have little choice but smile and walk away.My dear wife on the other hand is totally fearless. Back in the late 90's in a small rural Leyte town my wife and I were visiting family, she was well known there. So her Filipina cousin my wife and I were walking in this little town. Suddenly from what looked to me a pile of discarded pallets came some voices. Turned out it was a simple drinking place the guys said in Filipino something like why do you go with the Kano? My wife quickly shot back loudly in English "why don't you get a job and not sit around drink during the day"? Gotta love her all four foot nine and ninety pounds of whoop-ass and wild cats.

[Married Kano]

Yep, I know what you mean and our wives usually will not take any BS from others here when it could involve their husbands. Your wife was wise to sound off but keep moving at the same time. Locals for the most part are good people. But like the American indians are for the most part unable to handle or hold liquor well. As with any nationality, when drunk the first thing that goes is judgment. But here it also exposes a violent side to many. So that combined with a loss of judgment makes for a potentially dangerous situation. In our work with the Brgy Police, during the week (evenings) roughly 60% of cases handled are alcohol related. Sat and Sun evenings it jumps to over 95% and much violent in nature. even young people against a parent or uncle. Also in some areas locals have little or no contact with foreigners and will ask you to drink with them as they truly want to be friends. But can end up being dangerous if even the slightest disagreement occurs. Same goes for being invited to play cards. Strange country in some ways and would take a lifetime for any of us to truly understand it all-if ever. Are you going to move over here eventually? Sure a lot less expensive than the states and other western countries and no snow thank God!!! Gene

Yes, she did "loose face" and that was exactly my desired intention. But she is responcibile for the result of her own actions-not I. There has never been a problem arise from it and quite honestly, I don't care one way or the other. Rude is rude and if someone gets in my face I'll jump right back in theirs. I'm nice to people whenever possible but at the same time I'm no pushover. The setups and problems that foreignes have being scapegoats does happen without a doubt. Most of that is centered in and arouond tourist spots. Angeles City-Balibago has a horrible history of ripoffs and setup. A good percentage are actually run by and for the benefit of the police. Just another reason I stay completely out of that and other tourist areas. Gene

You are much braver than I am. I would never have tapped the woman on the arm or raised my voice in any way. Maybe I would have politely and kindly informed her that I was the next one in line with a smile. You made her lose face and she could have caused problems for you.We have zero rights while in Philippines in fact often Foreigners are a scapegoat for money or spite just because “they” can get away with it.FWIW in general Filipinos are a hundred percent nicer than Chinese. I can’t count the times some nice old Chinese woman elbowed me to get ahead.

I forget that you live there full time Gene I know you have a much better feel for when it's OK to stand up for yourself or when to let it go. As a visitor I don't have that knowledge or experience and have little choice but smile and walk away.My dear wife on the other hand is totally fearless. Back in the late 90's in a small rural Leyte town my wife and I were visiting family, she was well known there. So her Filipina cousin my wife and I were walking in this little town. Suddenly from what looked to me a pile of discarded pallets came some voices. Turned out it was a simple drinking place the guys said in Filipino something like why do you go with the Kano? My wife quickly shot back loudly in English "why don't you get a job and not sit around drink during the day"? Gotta love her all four foot nine and ninety pounds of whoop-ass and wild cats.

[Old55]

Yep, I know what you mean and our wives usually will not take any BS from others here when it could involve their husbands. Your wife was wise to sound off but keep moving at the same time. Locals for the most part are good people. But like the American indians are for the most part unable to handle or hold liquor well. As with any nationality, when drunk the first thing that goes is judgment. But here it also exposes a violent side to many. So that combined with a loss of judgment makes for a potentially dangerous situation. In our work with the Brgy Police, during the week (evenings) roughly 60% of cases handled are alcohol related. Sat and Sun evenings it jumps to over 95% and much violent in nature. even young people against a parent or uncle. Also in some areas locals have little or no contact with foreigners and will ask you to drink with them as they truly want to be friends. But can end up being dangerous if even the slightest disagreement occurs. Same goes for being invited to play cards. Strange country in some ways and would take a lifetime for any of us to truly understand it all-if ever. Are you going to move over here eventually? Sure a lot less expensive than the states and other western countries and no snow thank God!!! Gene

Yes, she did "loose face" and that was exactly my desired intention. But she is responcibile for the result of her own actions-not I. There has never been a problem arise from it and quite honestly, I don't care one way or the other. Rude is rude and if someone gets in my face I'll jump right back in theirs. I'm nice to people whenever possible but at the same time I'm no pushover. The setups and problems that foreignes have being scapegoats does happen without a doubt. Most of that is centered in and arouond tourist spots. Angeles City-Balibago has a horrible history of ripoffs and setup. A good percentage are actually run by and for the benefit of the police. Just another reason I stay completely out of that and other tourist areas. Gene

You are much braver than I am. I would never have tapped the woman on the arm or raised my voice in any way. Maybe I would have politely and kindly informed her that I was the next one in line with a smile. You made her lose face and she could have caused problems for you.We have zero rights while in Philippines in fact often Foreigners are a scapegoat for money or spite just because “they” can get away with it.FWIW in general Filipinos are a hundred percent nicer than Chinese. I can’t count the times some nice old Chinese woman elbowed me to get ahead.

I forget that you live there full time Gene I know you have a much better feel for when it's OK to stand up for yourself or when to let it go. As a visitor I don't have that knowledge or experience and have little choice but smile and walk away.My dear wife on the other hand is totally fearless. Back in the late 90's in a small rural Leyte town my wife and I were visiting family, she was well known there. So her Filipina cousin my wife and I were walking in this little town. Suddenly from what looked to me a pile of discarded pallets came some voices. Turned out it was a simple drinking place the guys said in Filipino something like why do you go with the Kano? My wife quickly shot back loudly in English "why don't you get a job and not sit around drink during the day"? Gotta love her all four foot nine and ninety pounds of whoop-ass and wild cats.

Gene you make some very good points. I respect the fact you deal with Filipinos on two levels as one who lives there as a Foreigner/local but also working with the Barangay police as well.Other than Lee and Nila we have no Foreigner friends in Cebu. Someday we hope to visit during the forum party. I do have some very close Filipino friends some have even visited our home here in the States as well as some Chinese friends who visit us in Philippines.It’s true Asian people culturally react differently than those from the West while drinking. Many Filipinos have a superstitious apocalyptic, Spanish and Catholic mindset. Fate has a huge impact in how they view and live life day to day. There is a lot of other stuff going on I don’t began to understand. All I know is most Filipinos are truly outstanding people. Typically Filipino men have a very Spanish machismo thing going on with an intricate face, friends, clan, family and class hierarchy mix but alcohol is not something that sets well with them.I’m not much of a drinker and avoid drinking with those that live nearby or the few Filipino family members who drink when we visit because frankly nothing good will come of it. For twelve years we looked at lots and homes in Cebu and Leyte but now have decided not to buy. Our family has a large home in Cebu and in Leyte. I will retire in five or ten years and at that time we plan to live here in the States we will visit Philippines during the summer when the kids are off school.

[Jake]

Yep, I know what you mean and our wives usually will not take any BS from others here when it could involve their husbands. Your wife was wise to sound off but keep moving at the same time. Locals for the most part are good people. But like the American indians are for the most part unable to handle or hold liquor well. As with any nationality, when drunk the first thing that goes is judgment. But here it also exposes a violent side to many. So that combined with a loss of judgment makes for a potentially dangerous situation. In our work with the Brgy Police, during the week (evenings) roughly 60% of cases handled are alcohol related. Sat and Sun evenings it jumps to over 95% and much violent in nature. even young people against a parent or uncle. Also in some areas locals have little or no contact with foreigners and will ask you to drink with them as they truly want to be friends. But can end up being dangerous if even the slightest disagreement occurs. Same goes for being invited to play cards. Strange country in some ways and would take a lifetime for any of us to truly understand it all-if ever. Are you going to move over here eventually? Sure a lot less expensive than the states and other western countries and no snow thank God!!! Gene

Yes, she did "loose face" and that was exactly my desired intention. But she is responcibile for the result of her own actions-not I. There has never been a problem arise from it and quite honestly, I don't care one way or the other. Rude is rude and if someone gets in my face I'll jump right back in theirs. I'm nice to people whenever possible but at the same time I'm no pushover. The setups and problems that foreignes have being scapegoats does happen without a doubt. Most of that is centered in and arouond tourist spots. Angeles City-Balibago has a horrible history of ripoffs and setup. A good percentage are actually run by and for the benefit of the police. Just another reason I stay completely out of that and other tourist areas. Gene

You are much braver than I am. I would never have tapped the woman on the arm or raised my voice in any way. Maybe I would have politely and kindly informed her that I was the next one in line with a smile. You made her lose face and she could have caused problems for you.We have zero rights while in Philippines in fact often Foreigners are a scapegoat for money or spite just because “they” can get away with it.FWIW in general Filipinos are a hundred percent nicer than Chinese. I can’t count the times some nice old Chinese woman elbowed me to get ahead.

I forget that you live there full time Gene I know you have a much better feel for when it's OK to stand up for yourself or when to let it go. As a visitor I don't have that knowledge or experience and have little choice but smile and walk away.My dear wife on the other hand is totally fearless. Back in the late 90's in a small rural Leyte town my wife and I were visiting family, she was well known there. So her Filipina cousin my wife and I were walking in this little town. Suddenly from what looked to me a pile of discarded pallets came some voices. Turned out it was a simple drinking place the guys said in Filipino something like why do you go with the Kano? My wife quickly shot back loudly in English "why don't you get a job and not sit around drink during the day"? Gotta love her all four foot nine and ninety pounds of whoop-ass and wild cats.

Gene you make some very good points. I respect the fact you deal with Filipinos on two levels as one who lives there as a Foreigner/local but also working with the Barangay police as well.Other than Lee and Nila we have no Foreigner friends in Cebu. Someday we hope to visit during the forum party. I do have some very close Filipino friends some have even visited our home here in the States as well as some Chinese friends who visit us in Philippines.It’s true Asian people culturally react differently than those from the West while drinking. Many Filipinos have a superstitious apocalyptic, Spanish and Catholic mindset. Fate has a huge impact in how they view and live life day to day. There is a lot of other stuff going on I don’t began to understand. All I know is most Filipinos are truly outstanding people. Typically Filipino men have a very Spanish machismo thing going on with an intricate face, friends, clan, family and class hierarchy mix but alcohol is not something that sets well with them.I’m not much of a drinker and avoid drinking with those that live nearby or the few Filipino family members who drink when we visit because frankly nothing good will come of it. For twelve years we looked at lots and homes in Cebu and Leyte but now have decided not to buy. Our family has a large home in Cebu and in Leyte. I will retire in five or ten years and at that time we plan to live here in the States we will visit Philippines during the summer when the kids are off school.

Hey Old55,Remind me to never cross paths with you wife.....he, he. I am really proud of her for standing her ground and protecting your reputation as a happy couple that takes no chit. I prefer Filipinas or women in general to be more affirmative anyway. I don't have much patience whenever they become "tampo or suplada" and refuse to say what's bothering them. I totally agree that most Filipinos are trying to act like machos and the drinking spree only exacerbates the situation. Often times when Judy and I are walking the streets of Cavite and Batangas (Luzon), I would remove my shades and stare right back at these so called "tan bys". These are guys that are just standing by along the street or sari-sari store, staring at my wife like she was naked or something. We are thankful however, that many tricycle drivers know us and are very protectiveof my family. I will continue to follow Gene's example by getting more involved with the community. The nearest tricycle or jeepney shedcan readily be your neighborhood watchers. On a hot and humid day, bringing a couple cold bottles of water or maybe somepizza to the hungry drivers goes a long way. But make no mistake about it, I will also continue to stand my ground wheneverthe situation is obviously a direct or indirect rudeness against me or my family. And that goes for any community, in USA orelsewhere.Respectfully -- Jake

[Married Kano]

Good Morning Jake, You have a good idea with the trike or wheeler drivers being on the lookout.I should point out to other readers though, these types of problems other than noisy drinking parties after curfew (10pm) are very isolated. Pays to be careful too when confronting many here (mainly in Pampanga province) as they usually wont cause you a problem upfront but will try to “get even” at a later time. Even if they loose their life in the attempt, they don’t mind as long as they get even. Many times we have called or sent a text late at night to have a drunken party broken up. At that time we simply stay out of it and at times even the army will show up with the Brgy and the offenders get the butt end of an M-16 on the head to finally get them to understand that the party is OVER.Usually though I still feel safe and get along with even the offenders. Have even become friends with a few over the years as well.I feel more secure too when my wife is along when we respond to a complaint---especially that “time of the month” when she will respond to the world with>>> Hehehehe. Then I’m 100% secure even if she is not carrying her firearm!!!Have a great Sunday-we’re heading to the mall for Jollibee and more ammo—I mean a 10 pound hand bag for my wife! HahahaGene

Yep, I know what you mean and our wives usually will not take any BS from others here when it could involve their husbands. Your wife was wise to sound off but keep moving at the same time. Locals for the most part are good people. But like the American indians are for the most part unable to handle or hold liquor well. As with any nationality, when drunk the first thing that goes is judgment. But here it also exposes a violent side to many. So that combined with a loss of judgment makes for a potentially dangerous situation. In our work with the Brgy Police, during the week (evenings) roughly 60% of cases handled are alcohol related. Sat and Sun evenings it jumps to over 95% and much violent in nature. even young people against a parent or uncle. Also in some areas locals have little or no contact with foreigners and will ask you to drink with them as they truly want to be friends. But can end up being dangerous if even the slightest disagreement occurs. Same goes for being invited to play cards. Strange country in some ways and would take a lifetime for any of us to truly understand it all-if ever. Are you going to move over here eventually? Sure a lot less expensive than the states and other western countries and no snow thank God!!! Gene

Yes, she did "loose face" and that was exactly my desired intention. But she is responcibile for the result of her own actions-not I. There has never been a problem arise from it and quite honestly, I don't care one way or the other. Rude is rude and if someone gets in my face I'll jump right back in theirs. I'm nice to people whenever possible but at the same time I'm no pushover. The setups and problems that foreignes have being scapegoats does happen without a doubt. Most of that is centered in and arouond tourist spots. Angeles City-Balibago has a horrible history of ripoffs and setup. A good percentage are actually run by and for the benefit of the police. Just another reason I stay completely out of that and other tourist areas. Gene

You are much braver than I am. I would never have tapped the woman on the arm or raised my voice in any way. Maybe I would have politely and kindly informed her that I was the next one in line with a smile. You made her lose face and she could have caused problems for you.We have zero rights while in Philippines in fact often Foreigners are a scapegoat for money or spite just because “they” can get away with it.FWIW in general Filipinos are a hundred percent nicer than Chinese. I can’t count the times some nice old Chinese woman elbowed me to get ahead.

I forget that you live there full time Gene I know you have a much better feel for when it's OK to stand up for yourself or when to let it go. As a visitor I don't have that knowledge or experience and have little choice but smile and walk away.My dear wife on the other hand is totally fearless. Back in the late 90's in a small rural Leyte town my wife and I were visiting family, she was well known there. So her Filipina cousin my wife and I were walking in this little town. Suddenly from what looked to me a pile of discarded pallets came some voices. Turned out it was a simple drinking place the guys said in Filipino something like why do you go with the Kano? My wife quickly shot back loudly in English "why don't you get a job and not sit around drink during the day"? Gotta love her all four foot nine and ninety pounds of whoop-ass and wild cats.

Gene you make some very good points. I respect the fact you deal with Filipinos on two levels as one who lives there as a Foreigner/local but also working with the Barangay police as well.Other than Lee and Nila we have no Foreigner friends in Cebu. Someday we hope to visit during the forum party. I do have some very close Filipino friends some have even visited our home here in the States as well as some Chinese friends who visit us in Philippines.It’s true Asian people culturally react differently than those from the West while drinking. Many Filipinos have a superstitious apocalyptic, Spanish and Catholic mindset. Fate has a huge impact in how they view and live life day to day. There is a lot of other stuff going on I don’t began to understand. All I know is most Filipinos are truly outstanding people. Typically Filipino men have a very Spanish machismo thing going on with an intricate face, friends, clan, family and class hierarchy mix but alcohol is not something that sets well with them.I’m not much of a drinker and avoid drinking with those that live nearby or the few Filipino family members who drink when we visit because frankly nothing good will come of it. For twelve years we looked at lots and homes in Cebu and Leyte but now have decided not to buy. Our family has a large home in Cebu and in Leyte. I will retire in five or ten years and at that time we plan to live here in the States we will visit Philippines during the summer when the kids are off school.

Hey Old55,Remind me to never cross paths with you wife.....he, he. I am really proud of her for standing her ground and protecting your reputation as a happy couple that takes no chit. I prefer Filipinas or women in general to be more affirmative anyway. I don't have much patience whenever they become "tampo or suplada" and refuse to say what's bothering them. I totally agree that most Filipinos are trying to act like machos and the drinking spree only exacerbates the situation. Often times when Judy and I are walking the streets of Cavite and Batangas (Luzon), I would remove my shades and stare right back at these so called "tan bys". These are guys that are just standing by along the street or sari-sari store, staring at my wife like she was naked or something. We are thankful however, that many tricycle drivers know us and are very protectiveof my family. I will continue to follow Gene's example by getting more involved with the community. The nearest tricycle or jeepney shedcan readily be your neighborhood watchers. On a hot and humid day, bringing a couple cold bottles of water or maybe somepizza to the hungry drivers goes a long way. But make no mistake about it, I will also continue to stand my ground wheneverthe situation is obviously a direct or indirect rudeness against me or my family. And that goes for any community, in USA orelsewhere.Respectfully -- Jake

untitled.bmp

Edited March 20, 2011 by Married Kano

[Keg]

Ive been cut before and I speak out. One of the many things that irates me in the philippines.

[Married Kano]

Ive been cut before and I speak out. One of the many things that irates me in the philippines.

Hi Keg and welcome to the site. Yea, there are many things to get use to or at least learn to accept living here. Even after living here eight years I'm still learning all the time... Hey everyone, just realised that I dont always get notified when a new post is added to this thread. So please don't think I'm ignoring ya'all here. Will get back over here tomorrow and try to post just enough to get banned :728: . Just kidding. Gene

[4thDan]

Yeah this is number one on my pet peeve list. When i'm opening a door and someone just busts through i make sure i say "you are welcome" in a loud enough voice so that they and those around hear it. Having done this enough at the local eatery I have noticed that I am not getting "rushed" at the door as much. Also when I go to JolliBee or McD's and i'm done with my food,,, I take my tray of empty stuff to the trash can and dump it myself, just like we do in states. That causes some eye brow raises and weird looks....But being 6'2" and 195 pounds and working out at the gym several times a week,,,I have found that i am Not getting pushed out of line all that much. When a cut in occurs I just get their attention, smile,,shake my head no and point behind me. I don't know what they are saying and I don't care...but i can guess...but as their voice is now coming from behind me....it doesn't matter. I'm finding that you can politely stand up for your own common courtesy rights and not be overly offensive. LOL what i have found that DOES confound the "natives" is when i purposely open a door and step aside and wave them through first. I can see the headaches forming inbetween their ears as they try to figure out what the heck that was all about. LOL I love to do that...man, woman, child...LOL...a demonstration of manners on a daily basis...maybe it'll catch on...ya never know.