Taking Responsibility For Ones Actions Is Lacking

[Mr Lee]

From my personal dealings with family and non family, it seems that the issue of taking responsibility for ones own actions, and that of sons and daughters, appears to almost be non exist here. Maybe I am just reading this wrong, and I do not wish this to be an attack on Filipinos in general, yet I feel that if people were held accountable for their own actions by family and themselves, then some of the issues here might disappear. Now while my heart goes out to those three drug mules that were just executed in China, if they knowingly carried drugs in or out of a country that gives a death penalty to people who do that, then I have to wonder why the public outcry. Do the crime, pay the price. I get tired of the excuse of, we had to do it for the money, because there are so many here who seem to manage to survive without doing criminal acts. Yes this is a poor country and my heart goes out to the many who are probably starving, but IMO it all goes back to taking responsibility for ones own actions, so had they not had so many children, then possibly there would have been less mouthes to feed and so on and so on. Then comes the church who refuses to allow birth control, but that is yet another topic, yet relates to refusing to take responsibility IMHO. Years ago, my wife and I had one nephew who stole money from a college fund that I set up for him and his brother and sister who were all in college at the time under our expenses, and to this day none of the family, including the one who stole his sisters and almost stole his brothers future away from him, has taken a bit of responsibility, and I know that the mother even contributed to the situation by refusing to do what she promised us she would do, take control of the ATM card. Maybe she was even complicit in the stealing and maybe that was why she did not do as promised, I will probably never know, but the fact stands that from what I see, many people here seem to not wish to take responsibility for their own actions, and that of their families. I believe a lot of this has to do with being short sighted, only thinking for today, and never worrying about the future, what do you think? So how can this be changed? and do any of you see what I think I see, or am I off base with my thoughts?

[4thDan]

I am total agreement with you on this one. My wife is a teacher in the public school system and when the news about the cheating hit the papers last week we read it together. When we got to the part that said that they wanted other witnesses of this type to step forward I turned to her and looked. For the last couple weeks we have been discussing over our panihapon, the fact that the District Superintendent and the Principle of her high school BOTH came to the teachers and REQUESTED that answer sheets be passed out to the students so that the rankings could be improved. Thankfully my wife did not do this and her classes still attained the highest scores in the school. But when I mentioned to her that she could or should at least let the commission know about it, which she could do via a "no name" email, her response was something to the affect...." it's a Filipino thing....everyone cheats at everything. That's why we have corruption."...From this type of situation, to the neighbors burning their garbage in the lawn so my house gets full of the crappy smelly smoke, to the the everyday attitudes (ever get thanked for holding a door open for anyone? or how many times have you opened and door to a store and went to go in only to nearly get ran over by someone who wanted to go the other way?)...there will not be "self responsibility" until there is some "pride of self". Where does it start? In the homes naturally...well SHOULD start there. But the reverse lesson is being taught, nay, lived there instead. Can those who do take responsibility make a change? NO...we can just live our own lives the way we have been brought up. That is the operative phrase..."brought up to". No you are spot on on this one. Let someone else do it.....what me wrong?...or more to the point....Who cares?

[RetiredNavyGuy]

Although I love the Philippines in many respects, I think you are spot-on on this topic. I made the observation to another ex-pat yesterday while the news was sensationalizing the executions that I had trouble working up any sympathy, even if they were "tricked" into being a drug mule. They are all warned about being safe before they leave to go overseas, and it doesn't take a rocket scientist to know when you're being asked to do something you shouldn't.I do find exceptions, but the fact that they are exceptions rather than the norm is truly sad. The Philippines will never reach its potential until those "exceptions" become the norm, but I'm not at all sure how to accomplish that. The answer is not just in "education." If it was, 4thDan's wife would not have had the reaction she had. Eliminating poverty? I'm sure we have all seen examples of this behavior even from people who are well above the norm. I don't think our "setting an example" will work either - too many locals will just see us as naive and foolish (and as an obvious target to some). In some ways, Filipinos remind me of the Eloi in "The Time Machine"...happy, but no pride of self or sense of a future. When I was in college the first time, MANY moons ago, I had an ethics class that called this type of attitude "situational ethics." Even back then, we were told that such attitudes were prevalent especially in third world countries, but could be found anywhere that people believed they had no control over their lives or their future. It wasn't an attempt to justify the attitude, just making students aware of it and the problems that could result.I suspect the real issue will have to be solved from the top (not the President, but those few families that actually control everything here.) However, I see no signs that they are ready to change things any time soon. After all, any change would endanger their power and control.

[RetiredNavyGuy]

...the District Superintendent and the Principle of her high school BOTH came to the teachers and REQUESTED that answer sheets be passed out to the students so that the rankings could be improved. Thankfully my wife did not do this and her classes still attained the highest scores in the school. But when I mentioned to her that she could or should at least let the commission know about it, which she could do via a "no name" email, her response was something to the affect...." it's a Filipino thing....everyone cheats at everything. That's why we have corruption."...

I would disagree that its a Filipino thing. Some of you who know me from [another forum] may have noted that I label myself a retired Navy Officer and a REFORMED UNIVERSITY PROFESSOR. Some even know the story about why I left the classroom and have never taught again. ...and that situation occurred in the US! Unfortunately, its NOT just a Filipino thing. The whole world seems to be aimed at making sure no one is ever responsible for anything. I could give a long list of examples - none from the Philippines, but I don't want to get banned.The real problem in my mind is that such an attitude can quickly become the new "normal." If people aren't held accountable, there are always many more who observe that and ask themselves "if they can get away with it, why shouldn't I?" After a short time, it becomes so prevalent that it becomes difficult to challenge. ...A perfect example of the old adage that"the only thing required for evil to flourish, is that good men do nothing." (My apologies for the poor paraphrase.)

[Dave Hounddriver]

I don't think our "setting an example" will work either

Good thing, I'd hate to see the local filipinos following the example of other countries who got out from under corrupt governments. Remember the tea in Boston Harbor? And more recently Egypt? If there is an example to be set then we need to find one that will not require civil unrest. Ghandi comes to mind, until you look at the current situation in India.People's attitudes are not going to change until their situation changes. They do not see it as evil. They see it as survival.

[Jake]

http://newsinfo.inqu...-the-drug-mulesThe above article written by my favorite columnist from Philippine Daily Inquirer reflects my opinion on this matter. Poor excuses, can't remember or just plain denial is the statement of the day. The rich and powerful are too proud to lose face. They would rather save their own butts by all means necessary. So many lies, half truths or witnesses disappearing or paid off are the norm rather than the exception. Will this administration overhaul the government of corruption? I sincerely hope so.........Respectfully -- Jake

[Married Kano]

http://newsinfo.inqu...-the-drug-mulesThe above article written by my favorite columnist from Philippine Daily Inquirer reflects my opinion on this matter. Poor excuses, can't remember or just plain denial is the statement of the day. The rich and powerful are too proud to lose face. They would rather save their own butts by all means necessary. So many lies, half truths or witnesses disappearing or paid off are the norm rather than the exception. Will this administration overhaul the government of corruption? I sincerely hope so.........Respectfully -- Jake

In my opinion, it all comes down to parenting. Beining able and willing to teach children right and wrong at an early age and contine that teaching by example. As it stands now and from what I am seeing on a daily basis is this has gone on for so long that simply put, parents don't know how to be parents. I have no doubt that most want their children but have no real idea what to do with them once they are able to walk. Amazing to me is to watch parents that love and care for their babies. But as soon as they are able to walk, they slap a diaper on them and then let them play in the streets where they can get hit and killed. They resent being told about it but God help anyone who hits one of these little er-ah---kids. More than concern for their child that has just been hit, their first thought is to get paid an extremely high amount of money! Maybe to some here its just another way to make money--and why not? All they have to do is make another baby!!! Seems to me that life and scociety here is like looking in a mirror. Everything is here but is backwards from what normal human life is elsewhere on this earth. Short of a few A-bombs or a larger country taking over I doubt it will ever change for the rest of time... Edited March 31, 2011 by Married Kano

[4thDan]

...the District Superintendent and the Principle of her high school BOTH came to the teachers and REQUESTED that answer sheets be passed out to the students so that the rankings could be improved. Thankfully my wife did not do this and her classes still attained the highest scores in the school. But when I mentioned to her that she could or should at least let the commission know about it, which she could do via a "no name" email, her response was something to the affect...." it's a Filipino thing....everyone cheats at everything. That's why we have corruption."...

I would disagree that its a Filipino thing. Some of you who know me from [another forum] may have noted that I label myself a retired Navy Officer and a REFORMED UNIVERSITY PROFESSOR. Some even know the story about why I left the classroom and have never taught again. ...and that situation occurred in the US! Unfortunately, its NOT just a Filipino thing. The whole world seems to be aimed at making sure no one is ever responsible for anything. I could give a long list of examples - none from the Philippines, but I don't want to get banned.The real problem in my mind is that such an attitude can quickly become the new "normal." If people aren't held accountable, there are always many more who observe that and ask themselves "if they can get away with it, why shouldn't I?" After a short time, it becomes so prevalent that it becomes difficult to challenge. ...A perfect example of the old adage that"the only thing required for evil to flourish, is that good men do nothing." (My apologies for the poor paraphrase.)

You are right, not taking responsibility is being not just taught but rewarded. A prime example of this is in the US, where one can easily get paid/rewarded for not taking responsibility for non-work, not practicing birth control, etc...that is the essence of the welfare system isn't it? Let Big Brother take care of you and be responsible for you. After all you are ENTITLED to not have to worry about such a mundane thing. And the corruption that it breeds, in ALL levels of life, government, etc., is existent if not rampant. The Philippines just have not developed the art of hiding their corruption as well as is done in the more "developed" countries. And that is why it is more apparent here, than in the States. It's just more open here, or less covered up as it were. Edited March 31, 2011 by Boss Man
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[gapotwo]

i dont know about other 3rd world countries, but the bahala na way of life in the ph. will never change. and taking responsibility for ones actions??forget it. from personal experience, i know, i was one of them..while my sisters grew up in the confines of our fortress of a home in olongapo, and only spoke english and spanish. i broke out of those protective gates and became a ''jeproks'' living in the other side of the fence.ran with the dopers, did the blackmarket thing, and porked anygirl that had a pulse. crawled out of many bars, pissed where i wanted to and did not care about what any body thought or said.saw and did street justice with a heavy hand . etc. etc. etc. it got so bad that my family was bailing me out of jail weekly. and had to ship me out to the states.looking back and thinking where i came from , i dont think anything will will get better, accountability? forget it. responsibility? never happen. thats just the way it is in the PH. dont try to change it, just try to live with it, after all its your choice that YOU ARE LIVING IN THE PHILIPPINES. I too will be dealing with it when i get home next month, and you know what? it wont bother me cuz, ive been there and done that.....WELCOME TO THE WILD WILD EAST.........tanks...ej.

[Jake]

i dont know about other 3rd world countries, but the bahala na way of life in the ph. will never change. and taking responsibility for ones actions??forget it. from personal experience, i know, i was one of them..while my sisters grew up in the confines of our fortress of a home in olongapo, and only spoke english and spanish. i broke out of those protective gates and became a ''jeproks'' living in the other side of the fence.ran with the dopers, did the blackmarket thing, and porked anygirl that had a pulse. crawled out of many bars, pissed where i wanted to and did not care about what any body thought or said.saw and did street justice with a heavy hand . etc. etc. etc. it got so bad that my family was bailing me out of jail weekly. and had to ship me out to the states.looking back and thinking where i came from , i dont think anything will will get better, accountability? forget it. responsibility? never happen. thats just the way it is in the PH. dont try to change it, just try to live with it, after all its your choice that YOU ARE LIVING IN THE PHILIPPINES. I too will be dealing with it when i get home next month, and you know what? it wont bother me cuz, ive been there and done that.....WELCOME TO THE WILD WILD EAST.........tanks...ej.

Hey EJ,The last time I visited our hometown of Olongapo (north of Manila), I was pleasantly surprise that for the most part, the city has cleaned up its act. Unlike the savage days before martial law (60's and 70's), it was definitely the wildest place in Asian during that time. As a "Jeproks" you've been around the block, including getting shot down when you're were in the US military and now you have come full circle. I hope you like what you see and perhaps when you see a young teenager in trouble, you couldguide him properly. Imagine changing just one person to turn his life around, you might surprise yourself with a silent smile with a forgiving heart. I know I would pare......Respectfully -- Jake