Taking Responsibility For Ones Actions Is Lacking

[gapotwo]

yessir jake, i already have someone to pass it on to ,im finding out that i have a half brother that my father did not take responsibility for. so im picking up the slack when i get home and try to be responsible for his lack of. yup i was shot down, but it was not service connected, it happened in a bar in gapo. a drunk drew down on me and i didnt have my 45. ive heard that gapo is different and nicer now that the kano has left. but i dont think that the bahala na ,lack of responsability attitude will ever change. ill know for sure in a month when i complete my full circle of life and stomp boots again in olongapo.:unsure: tanks ej

[Art2ro]

E.J.,SBMA is mostly recreation for the well to do locals and foreigners! Downtown Magsaysay is dead as a door knob, but Sam's pizza joint is still there and doing well! All the wild night life has moved along Barrio Barretto owned by a few of Kanos all along the beach, just a stone throw away from your house! I don't know if you'll frequent those Kano owned nipa hut style out door bars, but they do have a lot of bikini contests weekly! I guess attitudes have changed since the Navy fleet left and the base was converted into a free port!

[gapotwo]

hi art, no i wont be doing the barrio two step,i have my hands full with the responsibility of upgrading my apartments and trying to maintain good and responsibile tenants. after all that is my bread and butter.ssdi is just medical savings and monthly medical expences. DANG im starting to sound like a responsible person...i better hush up before lightning strikes. tanks ej.:36_1_50[1]:

[Call me bubba]

I believe a lot of this has to do with being short sighted, only thinking for today, and never worrying about the future, what do you think? So how can this be changed?

The use of Carrot and Stick approach.

[jode]

I recall in my talks with filipinas a phrase they use often - "maybe they had a reason". It is a phrase used as a justification for actions or inactions that are obviously and blatantly wrong. It is as if anyone who behaves in an irresponsible way is ok as long as they had a reason for doing so.At first i thought this kind of logic must be a language thing. Some kind of misunderstanding of the terms being used. No one could actually believe that having a reason justifies doing wrong. However with more experience I realized that no, it actually was a kind of catch all philosophy of life to justify, at least in their own minds, not doing what needs to be done or doing what shouldn't be done.I say there is a reason for everything that happens in this world. A better term for the kind of thing they mean is an excuse. As far as excuses go I remember the words of my first sargeant-"Excuses are like A-holes, everyone has one, and they all stink'.

[Tukaram (Tim)]

Too bad it's not just the Philippines... Remember some years back, in the States, we had this guy Oliver North. Did some things he should or should not have done, took the rap for a lot he didn't do blah, blah, blah.... Well I had to at least respect him for the way he did his job, and stood up for his actions. Then some dumb ass American kid (Michael Fay) gets caught in Singapore doing graffiti. Americans are going nuts because "caning" is so inhumane. The US Government intervenes to get his caning cut from 6 lashes to 4, and Oliver North says he will go over there and take the lashes for the teen. Seriously? ?????? it. Do the crime, do the time. I lost all respect for North for making a such a vapid overture. (I already had virtually no respect for our government so their stupid leniancy request didn't matter)Fast foward and guess what? Back in the States Fay has been in and out of trouble for more stupidity. But I bet if he goes back to Singapore he'll behave.Personal responsibility is a trait from a lost era of humanity...

[Ashanti]

I believe a lot of this has to do with being short sighted, only thinking for today, and never worrying about the future, what do you think? So how can this be changed? and do any of you see what I think I see, or am I off base with my thoughts?

YES! Totally agree. Solution????????????????? Treat them as adults and accountable for their actions.Many years ago, I sent my niece, the daughter of a cousin to school thru college. I paid not only tuition but also books and living expenses. It was fine when the mother was alive but when her mother died and my niece have control of the money, it had gone awry.Before I continued funding my niece schooling I have a long talk with my niece first and told her what I expected from her for me to continue funding her. First and foremost, I can only continue the funding if I still have a good job and provided she takes her schooling seriously. The money would now go directly to her name and she would be in total control of her destiny. Its now up to her to take on the challenge. If by any chance she falls on the wayside that is her responsibility and not mine. Therefore if she expects that I would continue funding her, she can think again. I will give her the chance to better herself but it is up to her to make something of herself. Nor will I be checking her up of what she is up to. But if she plays me false I will automatically stop the funding. I will not accept any excuses, apologies, or reasons why. She is only my niece from a cousin not a daughter. She is not my responsibility but I am willing to give her the chance. If she blows her chance, that’s it. And she better remember, that it will not be me who would be sorry, as I can always find the money but it will be her who would suffer as she will miss that opportunity.The first year at college it was fine, then on the second year, I started hearing stories that my niece have been profligate in her spending. She is spreading her wings just like any other girls and was into clothes and stuff on my money. I did not do anything and just waited things to develop. Then the news comes in that she changed the course on what we had both agreed should be taking on. As soon as I got the gossip confirmed, I automatically cut off the money without any fuss or recriminations and just complete silence!A few years ago, we had a rapprochement after she apologised. She had also learnt her lesson and responsibility. She manages to get a factory job, married have children and is now working as an OFW Edited April 9, 2012 by Ashanti

[Mike S]

Sadly Ashanti that is the way 90% of the young people would act if given full control of money for anything with out someone with a direct local handle on the money .... my sawa's ate has 3 kids in college ..... they have to travel a long distance from home and stay in a boarding house .... she goes personally each month to all three boarding houses and pays the rent and to the schools to pay the tuition fee each quarter ..... and only gives them money for food and transportation ..... she says if they use that for something else they will go hungry ... their choice .....Sorry about your niece's loss .... but at least she has a chance now to make up for it ..... good for her .... you taught her something :hystery:

[Ashanti]

Sadly Ashanti that is the way 90% of the young people would act if given full control of money for anything with out someone with a direct local handle on the money .... my sawa's ate has 3 kids in college ..... they have to travel a long distance from home and stay in a boarding house .... she goes personally each month to all three boarding houses and pays the rent and to the schools to pay the tuition fee each quarter ..... and only gives them money for food and transportation ..... she says if they use that for something else they will go hungry ... their choice .....Sorry about your niece's loss .... but at least she has a chance now to make up for it ..... good for her .... you taught her something :AddEmoticons04230:

True!!! but they will only learn from experience. so you have to be cruel to be kind.

With my niece as well as the rest of my extended family, they know I mean what I say. I also made a point of making it very plain/clear to them so they will not be in any doubt what would happen before i will release any funds. As im very aware of the juvenile filipino attitude - easy come, easy go.

I spelled it clearly to them, that if they dont help themselves, why should i help them?????? They are not my responsibility, i already bent backwards to help them but if they expect me to be a martyr and take on their nonsense again and again, they can think again. I also reinforce my arguments by telling them that if i wanted to i can always turn my back on them as i have my own family to think of - they are my priority, not them. So if they dont pull their weight - i have no qualms in pulling the plug. So they are well warned.

When my niece gone silly, my sister went to see my niece and forced her to give her back the money sitting on her account, at that time which was P50K. i sent the funds in lump sum to avoid so may fees. My sister phoned me and told me what she had done but i told my sister to return the money to my niece. Whats done is done, i do not expect the money back and that money was intended for my niece. It is up to her what to do with it but there will be no more forthcoming. I stand by my words as all my extended families knows.

Luckily, my niece seems to have waken up and have made good use of the money!

[Call me bubba]

When my niece gone silly, my sister went to see my niece and forced her to give her back the money sitting on her account, at that time which was P50K. i sent the funds in lump sum to avoid so may fees.

I dont mean to critize your actions in sending all the funds at once to save on the "FEES"

perhaps the best way

should you help another in the future

Is to have your own RP bank account.and transfer the funds as needed.

this way it could reduce the "temptation" to spend.spend spend

When you give a child a bag of cookies or sweets and tell them only to eat 1.

:7_4_17[1]: usually they will not.