How To Meet A Good Foreigner

[joeatmanila]

Unofortunately i will tend to agree that it is more difficult to meet a good foreigner than a good filipina.Yes there are exceptions, the majority of us though came here because either could not make it in our country (similar situation to a filipina looking for a gateway to a better life abroad) or we have not been dated from a woman the past 40 years or so (filipina who has been dated by a few barangays and some fleets) Then we have the rare good ones who are in both sides the same,.Fair enough i guess.

[Mr Lee]

I'm not being idealistic. I know that if someone is after a pretty young girl who will give him a chance to show her how much he cares, and hopefully win her over, then the Philippines is a great place. People are poor and out of desperation will give any foreigner a chance, and if she's a good girl, she'll learn to appreciate how much he cares for her if in fact he cares for her in a sincere way.

I took the above quote from the opposite thread of how to find a good Filipina HERE, because it hits on some good points. From the men I met here in the Philippines, IMHO many seem to come here for the wrong reasons, or maybe it is the right reasons for them, but they seem to forget what they were back home, once they are here. Here in the Philippines a guy who could not find a young good looking lady, or maybe even any decent lady back home, and even if he was rich, because of his looks, build, attitude or age, seems to find just that while here, but if he does not treat her properly and give her all his love and devotion, or does not appreciate her and show it by not playing around, among other things, then he ends up wondering why the relationship does not work out. Example, I have seen beach ball type guys here (I am not skinny guy myself) with young good looking ladies, and that would NEVER happen to them back where they came from, so what do these guys do, they let their new stardom go to their heads (yes both heads) and plays the field, instead of loving the lady they are with to the full extent of their ability to love, and then they wonder why their ladies cheat on them. Some got great ladies at the beginning and treated them poorly and then pine about it and try to find someone as good as them, and that never seems to happen. Women, like men need security, and poorer women need it even more, so while I have met some nice non Filipino men here, most are already in relationships, and the majority of single men that are here who have not settled down with one lady, probably never wish to. So to answer the question, if a lady wishes to meet a good foreign man here, look him in the eye and ask him how many Filipinas he has been with, and why he did not stay with them, and if he says more than a few, and that some cheated on him, then evaluate his answers and understand that chances are that he is not the type who will probably ever settle for one, because IMHO if a good woman who feels a mans love still cheats on that man, then there is usually a reason for it. The main issue for all of us who have been in past relationships, is to move on and not compare who we are with, to who we were with. My x wife used to call me all the time and tell me how the guys she was with, were not as good as me, or did not do the things for her that I did (and I am not talking about sex) and my answer was simple, you were not happy with me, why are you comparing them to me, move on. We all need to start out fresh and IMHO if a man or woman can't, then they will never make a good mate.

[joeatmanila]

I'm not being idealistic. I know that if someone is after a pretty young girl who will give him a chance to show her how much he cares, and hopefully win her over, then the Philippines is a great place. People are poor and out of desperation will give any foreigner a chance, and if she's a good girl, she'll learn to appreciate how much he cares for her if in fact he cares for her in a sincere way.

I took the above quote from the opposite thread of how to find a good Filipina HERE, because it hits on some good points.From the men I met here in the Philippines, IMHO many seem to come here for the wrong reasons, or maybe it is the right reasons for them, but they seem to forget what they were back home, once they are here. Here in the Philippines a guy who could not find a young good looking lady, or maybe even any decent lady back home, and even if he was rich, because of his looks, build, attitude or age, seems to find just that while here, but if he does not treat her properly and give her all his love and devotion, or does not appreciate her and show it by not playing around, among other things, then he ends up wondering why the relationship does not work out. Example, I have seen beach ball type guys here (I am not skinny guy myself) with young good looking ladies, and that would NEVER happen to them back where they came from, so what do these guys do, they let their new stardom go to their heads (yes both heads) and plays the field, instead of loving the lady they are with to the full extent of their ability to love, and then they wonder why their ladies cheat on them. Some got great ladies at the beginning and treated them poorly and then pine about it and try to find someone as good as them, and that never seems to happen. Women, like men need security, and poorer women need it even more, so while I have met some nice non Filipino men here, most are already in relationships, and the majority of single men that are here who have not settled down with one lady, probably never wish to. So to answer the question, if a lady wishes to meet a good foreign man here, look him in the eye and ask him how many Filipinas he has been with, and why he did not stay with them, and if he says more than a few, and that some cheated on him, then evaluate his answers and understand that chances are that he is not the type who will probably ever settle for one, because IMHO if a good woman who feels a mans love still cheats on that man, then there is usually a reason for it.The main issue for all of us who have been in past relationships, is to move on and not compare who we are with, to who we were with. My x wife used to call me all the time and tell me how the guys she was with, were not as good as me, or did not do the things for her that I did (and I am not talking about sex) and my answer was simple, you were not happy with me, why are you comparing them to me, move on. We all need to start out fresh and IMHO if a man or woman can't, then they will never make a good mate.

Spot on!!!!!

[ekimswish]

I think she needs to ask herself the same things I had to ask myself when I was at a crossroads with my wife: does she make me happy?If a Filipina is with a foreign guy and he doesn't make her happy just being together, then she should move on. If she's in it for the chance at a better life, then she should weigh the pros and cons: how much does he seem to have and how hard is he to stomache?I married my wife despite the naysayers because she made me happy, even if we had some crazy fights. I knew it was a roll of the dice, I rolled them, and so far so good. It's definitely a journey. But if a Filipina is with a foreigner for a better life, then she has a different set of questions she has to ask herself. If, on the other hand, she's looking for a "good foreigner", then she has to ask herself if she enjoys being with him, beachball shape or not.

[Art2ro]

A lot of Filipinas are fortunate to find a forefinger partner, because there are a few percentage of foreigners that are available due to their circumstances in their previous relationships or particular circumstances in their lives which will determine their attributes for being a good or bad foreigner for their prospective girlfriends or wife to be! What I mean is, there are various categories foreigners fall into and here’s a few; 1). Successful single young to middle age men working overseas, open to marriage, live-in relationships or just for one night stands when not too busy working! 2). Divorced or legally separated from their wives, living on a minimum source of income just to get byon or working off and on to supplement their income in a foreign country. 3). Single disabled individuals living on a disability pension adequate to survive on in a foreign country.4). Well to do retired individuals with a good retirement pension who can live anywhere in the world, but they chose the Philippines!5). Retired or semi-retired individuals living in their home country, but spend a lot of their time in a foreign country. 6). Filthy rich foreigners of any age, where money is not an object, but I‘m sure the Philippines wouldn‘t be their primary tourist destination, unless it‘s on their travel itinerary on their private jets or yachts! Did I forget a category? So, it really depends how good or bad a foreigner is, depending on their particular circumstances in life, their attributes and in which category they fall under! As I always say, “Different strokes for different folks”! “It’s always a matter of money”! “Life is what we all make it to be”! “Que sera, sera“!

[Sampaguita]

I think it would be interesting to hear what Filipinas think on this subject , so please ladies chime in !!! O-U-C

Yes I hope the other ladies will chime in, and no I would never introduce any of my family to 99% of the single men we have met here..

[Papa Carl]

I think it would be interesting to hear what Filipinas think on this subject , so please ladies chime in !!! O-U-C

Yes I hope the other ladies will chime in, and no I would never introduce any of my family to 99% of the single men we have met here..

Here here, I agree and as I said in my post would like to hear what Filipina's have to say, but it seems that only us Old Gits have something to say. I wonder if that tells us all we need to know?

[ekimswish]

I think it would be interesting to hear what Filipinas think on this subject , so please ladies chime in !!! O-U-C

Yes I hope the other ladies will chime in, and no I would never introduce any of my family to 99% of the single men we have met here..

Sampaguita... I think you need to expand more. I think we all think we know what you're hinting at, but as the only lady contributing, and the topic starter, it'll help the thread if you spill the beans. Then we'll have more stuff to debate. As is, there's not enough to roll on. Saying you would never introduce ANY OF YOUR FAMILY to 99% OF SINGLE MEN you have met in the Phils is a very strong statement. Most of us on the forum are married, so don't worry about it offending us. We're good, ;)Personally, I think because money is such a big factor in the relationships - there's no other way that guy gets that girl all things being equal - a lot of men treat the women like they own them. At the same time, a lot of the women act like they at least wish to be owned as a luxury good, not some cheap trash. Then the family jumps along for the ride, seeing as how money's in the equation anyways, and the man takes this as meaning all Filipino culture is greedy and unpleasant. Also, most of the single guys are older, divorced, dudes, which I have no problem with. It just means that they're more settled in their ways, and have less tolerance for people screwing up their daily routines, favorite dishes, or perception of common sense. When I hang out with older guys, even just a little older, it's funny watching them get totally thrown off by little things. The tiniest divergence from expectation causes them the greatest discomfort, and the older they get, the more inclined they are to lodge a complaint with the offending waiter or whoever it is. To me it's hilarious to watch, but in an affectionate way. I know I'll be like that one day, and my friends are good guys. It's just funny watching them make big deals over small things. I often feel sorry for the offender, but, again, in a humorous way. The numbers are not on the side of a Filipina waiting for a good foreign guy in the Philippines. Too many gold diggers, and sexy ones at that, hunting the same guys who came to the Philippines more or less for a very sexy woman to be by his side. I guess I have to conclude with the same advice I had on the opposite thread (finding a good Filipina), to not set your sights on one group of people, i.e. foreigners. There are millions of great Filipino guys out there with good educations and work ethics, and from the same social fabric that could more easily accomodate a Filipina's expectations and comforts. For her to target foreigners is ill-advised and slightly racist. If foreigners and Filipinos are to compete on equal ground, they would have to be in a western country. There, a Filipino will make the same money as whitey, and then we'll see who the Filipina chooses for real. As long as the homegrown Filipino man has a job and a future, then greed and misinformation is the only thing that could cause a Filipina to want "more". Sure there are exceptions, like girls from extreme poverty.... but honestly, the girls that land foreigners are usually smoking hot, and as long as we're talking about smoking hot girls, even poor ones have a shot at climbing the local social ladder and marrying "up".

[Art2ro]

Mike,You just nailed everything right on the money! What more can any Filipina add to what you have just explained in depth? Nada, zip! Can't poke a hole in your post, because you explained it so well!

[Sampaguita]

I think it would be interesting to hear what Filipinas think on this subject , so please ladies chime in !!! O-U-C

Yes I hope the other ladies will chime in, and no I would never introduce any of my family to 99% of the single men we have met here..

Sampaguita... I think you need to expand more. I think we all think we know what you're hinting at, but as the only lady contributing, and the topic starter, it'll help the thread if you spill the beans. Then we'll have more stuff to debate. As is, there's not enough to roll on. Saying you would never introduce ANY OF YOUR FAMILY to 99% OF SINGLE MEN you have met in the Phils is a very strong statement. Most of us on the forum are married, so don't worry about it offending us. We're good, ;)Personally, I think because money is such a big factor in the relationships - there's no other way that guy gets that girl all things being equal - a lot of men treat the women like they own them. At the same time, a lot of the women act like they at least wish to be owned as a luxury good, not some cheap trash. Then the family jumps along for the ride, seeing as how money's in the equation anyways, and the man takes this as meaning all Filipino culture is greedy and unpleasant. Also, most of the single guys are older, divorced, dudes, which I have no problem with. It just means that they're more settled in their ways, and have less tolerance for people screwing up their daily routines, favorite dishes, or perception of common sense. When I hang out with older guys, even just a little older, it's funny watching them get totally thrown off by little things. The tiniest divergence from expectation causes them the greatest discomfort, and the older they get, the more inclined they are to lodge a complaint with the offending waiter or whoever it is. To me it's hilarious to watch, but in an affectionate way. I know I'll be like that one day, and my friends are good guys. It's just funny watching them make big deals over small things. I often feel sorry for the offender, but, again, in a humorous way. The numbers are not on the side of a Filipina waiting for a good foreign guy in the Philippines. Too many gold diggers, and sexy ones at that, hunting the same guys who came to the Philippines more or less for a very sexy woman to be by his side. I guess I have to conclude with the same advice I had on the opposite thread (finding a good Filipina), to not set your sights on one group of people, i.e. foreigners. There are millions of great Filipino guys out there with good educations and work ethics, and from the same social fabric that could more easily accomodate a Filipina's expectations and comforts. For her to target foreigners is ill-advised and slightly racist. If foreigners and Filipinos are to compete on equal ground, they would have to be in a western country. There, a Filipino will make the same money as whitey, and then we'll see who the Filipina chooses for real. As long as the homegrown Filipino man has a job and a future, then greed and misinformation is the only thing that could cause a Filipina to want "more". Sure there are exceptions, like girls from extreme poverty.... but honestly, the girls that land foreigners are usually smoking hot, and as long as we're talking about smoking hot girls, even poor ones have a shot at climbing the local social ladder and marrying "up".

Good post Mike. Please remember the number I gave was 99% so that would mean that the 1 out of 100 single men who come here with good intentions would probably be good men that I would consider introducing. There is no more to expand except to say that from my personal view the 99 out of 100 single men who come here with bad intentions are losers back where they came from and feel like winners here because of all the attention they receive so they often take advantage of the ladies here who have limited experience dealing with their kind. We could somewhat compare it to being proud of taking candy from a child and then boasting about it. Have you ever read other forums where members have photos of their latest conquest with hardly any clothing on, which is not the Filipino way, so what does that tell you about the member? It tells me that they are so insecure that they have to show off their latest conquest just like an ape beating its chest. Now for the ones who only want very young women, remember I said only want so they limited who they want by age, those men are probably afraid to meet someone who can hold their own and not be owned.Yes I am harsh but I am speaking from a woman's point of view who has been to the US and has met many people there and here. Hope to hear from the other ladies and I am sorry if I insulted anyone but if the shoe fits then wear it and if not then you are 1 of the good ones. Diba Edited May 17, 2011 by Kuya Lee
bold some of her post so it will not be taken wrong