How To Meet A Good Foreigner

[volstateguy]

A lot of the guys that go to the PI's are sexual tourists. (certainly not all, but honestly I think a majority)

On the surface it may appear that way. Now that I have lived here a few years I have a different opinion. Here is my personal view. I can picture 100 (approximately) expats that I have met here. (Actually many, many more but I am keeping this simple.) I cannot call all of them friends. In many cases I meet them in a casual setting so that I get to know a bit about them but a friendship is not in the cards.Of that hundred, only a handful (say 5 or 6) are single and playing the sexpat role. Another 20 or so are in long term relationships but frequent the girly bars for a little extra curricular entertainment. The rest are as down to earth and faithful as any average guy in North America. The guys I am acquainted with have usually been here more than a couple of weeks so the short time guys may be more sex touristy.Unfortunately, although 75/100 guys are great role models, who do the filipinas see and get their impressions from? They usually will meet the 5/100 that are playing sexpat. Those guys will meet more filipinas than the other 95 guys all put together.

Interesting point of view Dave. Obviously your perspective can only be seen by someone who is lucky enough to live there full time. The rest of us can only count down the days till we can move there and learn as much as we can from you guys with boots on the ground.

[Tukaram (Tim)]

.I'm sorry I didn't make myself clear - I was talking vacationers. The ones that blow through town throwing money around and chasing girls. They are extremely visible so they give the impression that all foreigners are dirt bags. And like I said I was there looking at apartments for later, but also having fun. So I was a part time dirt bag. But a polite and quiet one. Of course these guys aren't the ones a girl should be looking at for a serious relationship. But these are the guys that are the easiest to find. And I wouldn't be at a bikini bar looking for a wife either...I don't know enough expats to say but I would think with expats the number would be significantly lower. Most of the expats I talk to are in a steady relationship, either girlfriend or wife.

[Kari Javier]

Personally I can say that you have more chances of finding good foreigners outside the country because once they step in the Philippines, the chances of them being corrupted is higher. I had an exboyfriend from Australia who have stayed in Manila and Cebu for quite some time. Back in Australia, he was just a simple middle class fellow. He said it was hard for him to date women back there but when he came here he was considered a God. Finding girls was easy, all he needed to do was walk down the street or mall and someone would come up to him to introduce herself, even taxi drivers recommend their niece, neighbor, friend, etc. And this is hard to admit but some Filipinas would do anything and everything for a chance to go out of the country as freeloaders. So being in a relationship with a foreigner doesnt mean the competition is over. The best way of meeting a good foreigner is to show how much of a good catch you are. That's like effortless advertising!

[Dzighnman]

look him in the eye and ask him how many Filipinas he has been with, and why he did not stay with them

Wow, Mr. Lee.... Exactly one of the first questions my wife asked me when we were getting to know each other.... to which I replied one nd well, that story is laid all out in another thread.Sampaguita, A VERY interesting thread, thank you for posting... I love to hear the Filipina perspective on all these topics. My wife and I review them together and we end up learning more about each other all the time.Sadly, I am in that same category that having sisterin-laws and other family members looking to be introduced, but not feeling anyone I know worthy of that introduction....sure makes you go Hmmmmm. :thumbsup:

[bunny]

what an interesting topic! i have seen it many times good foreign guy getting tricked by a filipina, and a good filipina getting used by a foreign guy.... those who find a good partner are truly lucky! and i'm envious of those who find love...!

[Thomas]

So how does a lady know the man is any good? I have met many foreign men here since marrying my husband and I can honestly warn ladies wishing to marry foreigners, that few would make good husbands.

Unofortunately i will tend to agree that it is more difficult to meet a good foreigner than a good filipina.Yes there are exceptions, the majority of us though came here because either could not make it in our country (similar situation to a filipina looking for a gateway to a better life abroad) or we have not been dated from a woman the past 40 years or so (filipina who has been dated by a few barangays and some fleets) Then we have the rare good ones who are in both sides the same,.Fair enough i guess.

Sure. At least if get the first contact with the foreigner in the Philippines, because compared to USA/Europe/Australia I suppose there are much less "normal" foreigners living in the Philippines making less percent than at home, being good husbands for a young Filipina.

I dare to say this, because I suppose all readers here are good guys :)

I believe almost all foreigners living in the Philippines belong to these groups. Them you say, Joe, plus some more:

- /Them who don't make it at home.

And them who come here mainly for cheap alcohol. If using much, they can't be good husband.

Them who are kicked out by kano women, because they behave to bad.

- + / Them who have problem finding any wife in "kanoland" depending of age and/or shy. As you wrote, Jake, SOME of these can become a****s because of they can't handle the attention they get in the Philippines. But surely there can be nice guys among the very shy ones, even if it's hard to get to know if they are good or not.

- + / Old /Retired. (I'm too is much older than my gf, even if I don't look as old as I am.) Surely many older are good nice husbands, but I suppose our wife/gf would prefer if we were 12 or 24 years younger :mocking:

+ / Then there are the younger ones, who love the country. (Other than because of the cheap alcohol and cheap bar women.) In this group I believe young Filipinas have bigest chance to find a good husband, but these are a small part of the total amount of the foreigners, because most of the younger ones are occupied working/studying at home and have problem solving the economy needed for moving.

Now I compared with other KANO men, but see next coment concerning Filipinos

I think it would be interesting to hear what Filipinas think on this subject , so please ladies chime in !!! O-U-C

I have talked to rather many Filipinas, who have such bad experiences:

/Many have been abandonded by their FILIPINO men, although they have child/children together. The man not even pay anything at all to their children... (To you Filipinas, who don't know: There are such kano men too, but if such happen here in "kanoland" then the government try hard forcing the men to pay for their children.) :Mad:123

/Internet. It's common too, many men just try to get (free) websex, although they have contact with normal Filipinas looking for a husband!!! :unsure:

/Not so odd talking with more than one BEFORE have met, BUT there are many playboys wanting to date many women, but fool them they look for a wife, although they don't :unsure:

My wife proposed a pretty good question to me, she asked "How many of the foreign men here, that we have met, would you introduce to your/our daughters" hmmmmmmmmmmmm :unsure: so I guess you all can ask yourselves the same thing? As for introductions, people have fooled me who I thought were good people and turned out to be terrible husband material. We really do not know our so called friends unless we have spent lots of time with them.

That's not a fair question, because it's common fathers think no man is good enough for his daughter :mocking:

[Thomas]

Concerning 99 %:

I'm even much more picky than that concerning who I find good enough for myself :mocking:

(But there are much more than 1 %, who are good women, most of them just not suiting me.)

---

Btw perhaps I will bring some good men, damaging that 99 % statistics :)

(=Some of my friends think of following me when/after I move. 2 of them I can recomend as husbands. But 2 of the others I sure DON'T recomend :) (=playboys, although one of them have slowed down and will perhaps be ready to settle down with one woman in a few years.)

When I hang out with older guys, even just a little older, it's funny watching them get totally thrown off by little things. The tiniest divergence from expectation causes them the greatest discomfort, and the older they get, the more inclined they are to lodge a complaint with the offending waiter or whoever it is.

What?! Where do you find these guys? :)

My experience am in average men get MORE patience by age...

But perhaps you are talking about them, who has failed big, perhaps both in their old country and then in the Philippines. In THAT group I'm sure your conclusion is true.

A lot of the guys that go to the PI's are sexual tourists. (certainly not all, but honestly I think a majority)

I believe that depend of where you are looking... :)

[Julia]

and to be honest, do not fancy fat wrinkled old ladies

ouch!

[Julia]

When I hang out with older guys, even just a little older, it's funny watching them get totally thrown off by little things. The tiniest divergence from expectation causes them the greatest discomfort, and the older they get, the more inclined they are to lodge a complaint with the offending waiter or whoever it is.

this reminds me of someone that i used to date five years ago -----

[Julia]

I have talked to rather many Filipinas, who have such bad experiences: /Many have been abandoned by their FILIPINO men, although they have child/children together. The man not even pay anything at all to their children...

what if the woman refused to accept the marriage proposal by her son's father, can she still ask for financial support from the biological father? oppps, off topic! :bonk: Edited November 11, 2012 by Julia