Bruce Posted June 2, 2011 Posted June 2, 2011 I give away a good bit of money. Either direct for medical issues, or indirect with me buying rice and other foods or me paying school fees. Since I am working, I can afford it, up to a point. In the past two years the process has evolved into my woman friend handling money matters with the family and locals. One hungry pinay looks like any other hungry pinay to me. But to her, there are those who are 'qualified' to get assistance and those who are NOT qualified to get assistance. I usually defer to her judgement. While certainly not a true swap, I think in US money where a 500p note is a $10 for me and a 1000p note is a $20 bill. Rice in the US is over $1 a pound. I pay 1350p to 1500p a 50 kilo sack in Catbalogan. Mentally, it is quite a bargain. Feeds a good number of people. I also pay school fees for (now) 15 kids. Again, based on US mentality, a real bargain. What does save me money is allowing the local woman to be the gate keeper. Images...I am often constrasted against a local retired white guy who is a Canadian. I finally met him briefly at a local lawyer's office. He is not Canadian, but German, who lived / worked in Canada before he moved to the Philippines. He has a terrible reputation locally. put a sign up on the front of his house saying NO VISITORS and has barred his wife's family from visiting. He has feuds with the neighbors and has 'cases' filed against him and he has 'cases' filed against others..... I also have been 'talked about' in that I wear long pants and a real (not tank top) shirt and yes, real shoes. I never thought about it until it was pointed out to me. But in over 2 years of travels in Catbalogan, I am the only white guy who dresses as such that I have seen. My point here is that the local poor people, often squatters, with their limited or no education, were aware of how I dressed as compared to other white residents / tourists. I make an effort to talk to and help, if possible those that actually needs some help. I suggest that if you can afford to help someone, then do so, if not able, then say so. Just set up a system that does not take away for your life style and stick to it. And for the guy above that mentioned his male massage person and his testerone boost.... well, that was WAY too much information hahahaha Bruce 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inspector Posted June 2, 2011 Posted June 2, 2011 Just give them money. Serious. How much should be the topic.You marry a pinay, you marry her family. And we are not talking a mother and father, we are talking 100 nieces and nephews and a thousand cousins. Just pay up, it is part of culture and why they were talking to you in the first place, from snail or email...to chatting. It's your money they like, and the fact that you can take care of their families, in many different ways (another topic). Can they fall in love with you?..yeah, there is always a slim chance, but the starting basis of ANY relationship with a foreigner and a pinay is the fact you have money. Think about it...why do the upper class filipino's discourage a family member from marrying a foreigner?You have money, and if you do not give any to the family....and trust me, all the married ones do in some way....you simply would not be of any interest to the filipina in the first place. On topic, and real. They do know the difference between Brad Pitt and Porky Corky...and your white skin is not as alluring as that fat wallet. ok time to stop hiding your real feelings on the subject , give it to us straight :) :) :) piglettStraight shooter Dan.....How else can you deal with it?Say no?Please allow me to catch my breath laughing. I don't know of ANY married man in the philippines that is pale, who does not give money is some way to his pinay wife's family. NONE.That goes for those who are married to one in the west as well.And I am talking in some form, from antibiotics for an aunt who has a infection, to boarding costs for a niece as she becomes a college grad, or the cost of the school itself, to a pig needed by a uncle....to a monthly bag of rice for a family of 13. It's just part of the culture. Those who say no to all...well, they don't get married, or don't stay married. Way too much pressure for money on these ladies, especially when a foreigner is caught. The topics should be...How much do you give?What do you you give for?I give p5000 a month...because it is expected in their culture, and if I don't the face of the family would be gone and I would be considered a cheap pale foreigner instead of just a pale one....maybe too pale. That's just the rules...I don't create them, just follow them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jim Sibbick Posted June 3, 2011 Posted June 3, 2011 My thoughtsI will give money for emergencies but not all that is required. Others have to make an effort too!For business requests, ask them to show how the business will make money. This usually makes it easy to show how it will not. For non emergency requests for money, tell them they will have to work for it. Something along the lines of...I had to work hard for my money, if you want some of it, you will have to work too!There is always something to do. Some suggestions:-- drive the car- maintenance on the car- maintenance on the house- baby sitter- wash the clothes- cook meals- building project- work in the family business- massageand moreMy favourite is massage!It is surprising how many don't need money if they have to work for it. If you decide to give money, never call it a loan. Say it is a gift. That way, there is no loss of face when the money is not repaid.Regards: Jim Sibbick Everything is fine except for - massages and more, not a good idea! I would warn anyone from doing that, because most decent Filipinos frond upon that, because it suggests one wants other things like a little hanky panky coming from a foreigner! JMHO! It is a list. The more is that there are more things I could have listed but I had enough of typing. The massage is straight massage. Usually on the sala floor in front of every one else. Never alone.It has worked fine for me since 1995 so I don't consider it a problem at all. No one is forcing anyone to massage. In fact, often others will join in.Regards: Jim Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Art2ro Posted June 3, 2011 Posted June 3, 2011 My thoughtsI will give money for emergencies but not all that is required. Others have to make an effort too!For business requests, ask them to show how the business will make money. This usually makes it easy to show how it will not. For non emergency requests for money, tell them they will have to work for it. Something along the lines of...I had to work hard for my money, if you want some of it, you will have to work too!There is always something to do. Some suggestions:- My favourite is massage!It is surprising how many don't need money if they have to work for it. If you decide to give money, never call it a loan. Say it is a gift. That way, there is no loss of face when the money is not repaid.Regards: Jim Sibbick Everything is fine except for - massages and more, not a good idea! I would warn anyone from doing that, because most decent Filipinos frond upon that, because it suggests one wants other things like a little hanky panky coming from a foreigner! JMHO! It is a list. The more is that there are more things I could have listed but I had enough of typing. The massage is straight massage. Usually on the sala floor in front of every one else. Never alone.It has worked fine for me since 1995 so I don't consider it a problem at all. No one is forcing anyone to massage. In fact, often others will join in.Regards: Jim OK! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inspector Posted June 4, 2011 Posted June 4, 2011 (edited) Now, back to topic as I have just caught my breath and I have realized that the best way to deal with money issues is find a woman who has an education such as nursing that will get her a job in the west that pays so much that when she eventually cheats on you, as she is young and beautiful while we are old and cranky, so then you divorce her, she has to pay you alimony and you then continue the cycle until you have so much alimony you can live like a westerner in the Philippines.Yes, marry a young nurse and collect alimony. Edited June 4, 2011 by Kuya Lee Remove off topic part of post Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inspector Posted June 4, 2011 Posted June 4, 2011 Now, back to topic as I have just caught my breath and I have realized that the best way to deal with money issues is find a woman who has an education such as nursing that will get her a job in the west that pays so much that when she eventually cheats on you, as she is young and beautiful while we are old and cranky, so then you divorce her, she has to pay you alimony and you then continue the cycle until you have so much alimony you can live like a westerner in the Philippines.Yes, marry a young nurse and collect alimony.Being this post was chopped in half, it sort of lost the humor aspect, as the part that was chopped was the opening direction of this second part that was deemed worthy, and like a movie that is shot in 16-9 for a movie theater and then later chopped to fit the square TV, thus losing the directors point of view as a third of what he wants you to see is not seen, thus is what happened to this humor post, as it has seemed to have lost it's meaning. BTW, this actually was overheard by me many years ago in the Philippines.A retired sailor, in his 60's... suggesting this while eating breakfast in the small hause in Angelels City 5- 6 years ago, and when another expat suggested she will dump his old cranky arse as soon as she can in the states, he suggested his plan of her.... supporting him. We all got a laugh. So please, due to the the chopping of my post so the humor might of been lost...I do not actually condone this. :unsure: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
piglett Posted June 4, 2011 Posted June 4, 2011 (edited) well i already did the marry a nurse from the Pi parti guess time will tell if she gets to pay me any alimony :)piglett untitled 2.bmp Edited June 4, 2011 by Kuya Lee convert photo to jpg and add it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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