Mr Lee Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 How old is old enough?I was wondering what the consensus on this would be?I was 43 and my lady was 23 when I met her and 26 when we married, and I always wondered what some older men find in even younger ladies besides sex? because sex is a given. :any-help: Now I am not insulting anyone who has chosen that route,and to each his own, but I am asking, what compatibility issues are there with such a large age disparity? I know there was a lot to get used to with my lady and I would imagine that there would be even more with a younger lady? but I am sure that it could also be a lot of fun getting used to them. :551: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tom_shor Posted January 22, 2009 Posted January 22, 2009 Good question. Very very many possible answers. Personally I wouldn't consider someone for a relationship that was younger than 21 or 22. Maybe not even that young depending on their maturity. But Hey that's me. I'm not looking now of course because I already found the best one. :any-help: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
retired Posted January 23, 2009 Posted January 23, 2009 Good question. Very very many possible answers. Personally I wouldn't consider someone for a relationship that was younger than 21 or 22. Maybe not even that young depending on their maturity. But Hey that's me. I'm not looking now of course because I already found the best one. :551:Right answer dude given that your lady might read this forum every now and then . :any-help: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike S Posted January 23, 2009 Posted January 23, 2009 Well hopefully you will have more in common than just sex (although some people think that is all you need .... hahaha) ...... it can get kinda rough if you have nothing to talk about ........ every time I think of that I remember the couple we saw last year ... if you remember .... that was eating behind us in that restaurant .... he couldn't speak any Filipino language nor could he speak English ...... he would pull out is native language translation book and point out things to her he wanted to say ...... I laugh when I think how they spent half their time translating instead of eating ....... but if you remember he was beaming from ear to ear ....... so guess it can be done ...... by looking at him I would guess he was 30+ years older than her ..... I would say compatibility is the main issue because sex can be deteriorated over the years by illness .... disease or other problems ..... but then some don't believe that either ....... and added to the fact that the longer you are together the better it becomes (most of the time) ...... if you are willing to give and take ...... but if you both give more than you take it can be beautiful no matter what the age difference ........ Personally .... as I have said many times before .... I wasn't looking for anyone under the age of 30 ........ but there were a lot of other things I didn't want either ....... I was just very fortunate to find the woman I did ........ believe me I have no regrets ...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheMason Posted January 23, 2009 Posted January 23, 2009 (edited) I would not marry anyone under the age of 30. In my opinion, people younger than that, both men and women, are still in their formative years. They will change quite a bit as they fully mature. The girl in her early 20s is going to be a different woman by the time she's in her 30s. Since marriage is for life (theoretically) I think it makes sense to marry a fully mature woman instead of a half-grown girl. People will change throughout their life time, but I think most of us can look back on ourselves when we were in our 30s and see pretty much the same person we see today. But how many of us see the same person in their 20s that they see today?Of course, I'm a bit younger than most on this forum. If I was retired and nearing 70, the hot 20 year old might be worth a shot. With medical care the way it is in the Phils, I'd likely be dead by the time she hit 30, so why waste time?I'll also add the standard disclaimer....to each their own. If it works for you and you're both of age, have at it. Edited January 23, 2009 by TheMason Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mik Posted January 23, 2009 Posted January 23, 2009 (edited) You will get more miles out of a newer model with less maintenance and repair. Oh, sorry you are discussing women not cars. Ah then, if I had it to do over I would look for someone 30 to 40 or instead maybe just a part-time house maid. And I think it's better for men to marry after age 55. You know what you want by that time. Edited January 23, 2009 by M.Morey Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
til Posted January 23, 2009 Posted January 23, 2009 I'll be 45 this year and my girl 21. She was 18 when I met her.The only thing about the age gap that sort of worries me, is that I will probably die much sooner than her.Apart from that I find we are quite compatible in how we look at life and what we like to do.Yeah, I realize she is still maturing (aren't we all still maturing?), but my thoughts are, I will be an influence on how she will "grow up", so nothing is lost.I'm ok sharing some of the "young girl activities" with her: going out for dancing once in while, shopping. She likes to join me for diving, fishing, walking on the beach (she always tries to catch anything edible though when we do that :D ).We both want some kids and like to travel to see new places.Well an older one would have been ok for me too, but this is just how it happened and I'm not going to complain. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jollygoodfellow Posted January 23, 2009 Posted January 23, 2009 I'll be 45 this year and my girl 21. She was 18 when I met her.The only thing about the age gap that sort of worries me, is that I will probably die much sooner than her.Apart from that I find we are quite compatible in how we look at life and what we like to do.Yeah, I realize she is still maturing (aren't we all still maturing?), but my thoughts are, I will be an influence on how she will "grow up", so nothing is lost.I'm ok sharing some of the "young girl activities" with her: going out for dancing once in while, shopping. She likes to join me for diving, fishing, walking on the beach (she always tries to catch anything edible though when we do that :D ).We both want some kids and like to travel to see new places.Well an older one would have been ok for me too, but this is just how it happened and I'm not going to complain.The way that I look at it is the age of a partner will make no real difference,if you are both happy and can communicate well to each other and willing to adjust to life as it comes then chances are as "good as it gets" when it comes to relationships. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BobNChe Posted January 23, 2009 Posted January 23, 2009 (edited) There is no chronological age that one can say is old enough or not. Age has nothing to do with attitude or maturity in many ways. I know 30+ year olds that have the same qualities of many teenagers. Then again I know 20 year olds with maturity beyond their years.So just like most anywhere, people are individuals and don't conform to any specific traits or tendencies as a whole. This is typically brought about by their upbringing and their life experiences. Lots of people have experienced a wide range of influential circumstance at an early age in this world. It's all a matter how you handle them and learn from them. Edited January 23, 2009 by BobNChe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Lee Posted January 23, 2009 Author Posted January 23, 2009 I really enjoyed reading the different views and I have to agree with you all, age really does not matter how we may or may not get along with our partners, but one of the things that does worry me is what til brought up, and that has worried me for the last few years....... When I was 46 and married my wife of 26, age really did not come into my mind that much because she was very mature for her years, but now that I have reached 60 and she has hit 40, I really worry about what will happen to her when I am gone......... Lets face it, an over 40 year old lady in the Philippines (she wants to go home once I am gone) will have a hard time finding a good partner at that age. Oh yes there will men after her for her US citizenship, so they can move to the land where money grows on trees (BS) or there may be men after her because she will then be rich in their minds by Philippine standards, owning condos etc, but she will not be rich by US standards, and she will have to wait until she is 60 to get widows benefits from social security, if I am gone by then and 62 if I am alive and if they do not change the rules, and that is all if SS is even there when she reaches that age...... So I guess a lot of us, myself included, at the beginning, may not think about what will become of our ladies when we are gone and many of us may even be selfish and just enjoy them while we are alive and not plan for their futures....Guys, death is a reality, and while I hope you all live to a ripe old age and grow old together, the larger the age difference, the more likely she will survive us for many years. I have had friends who were in their 30's 40's and 50's die, so there is no set time for us to go.......So to many who may read this, I say, think about the future and try to plan how to help your lady to survive once we are gone, and try to educate her to what she may expect from men and her family, because most ladies, my wife included, have lead a sheltered life before we came along and after being with us for many years (hopefully) they may not be prepared at all for what is to come and what others may expect of them or think of them because they were with expats........ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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