My Own Experiences And Impressions From "internet Dating"

[Dave Hounddriver]

first off you do not need to have boots on the ground to make contact ..... in fact the majority of guys coming for a 2 week vacation are not going to find what they are looking for in that length of time

Sometimes those girls will find you when you are not looking. I had been in Cebu 2 days when I first met my wife, at the mall. She seldom went online so I would never have met her there. I was NOT NOT NOT NOT looking for a live in partner because I had just arrived and wanted to test drive a bit before making any decisions. Ahhhhh. C'est la vie.We celebrated our 4 years of being together a short time ago.

[Mike S]

Dave congrats ..... and you are correct ..... my post was mainly for those who tell you you can't find a girl on line and the only way to find one is to visit here ...... but obviously there are a number of ways to go about finding Miss Wright ...... your way is one and mine is another ...... another way is through relatives or friendsSorry folks but I have a real issue with people that tell me that there is ONLY ONE WAY TO DO SOMETHING ....... what works for one may not work for another ...... so don't close your mind to other suggestions until you have tried them or at least look into them ....... IMHO

[OnMyWay]

My 2 cents. I joined a popular dating site when I started thinking about moving to Phils about two years ago. My experiences were about the same as the OP. I have been on and off with it since but started using it seriously a several months ago. It is a lot of work to screen out the good ones but they do exist, I am sure of it. If you are serious, put serious requirements in your profile along with warnings that you will not be scammed, and it will scare off many who are just scamming. It cut down my replies a lot after I did that. Of course, you still have to deal with those that don't even read the profile. Adding your intent to live in Phils also cuts out some who are looking for a visa.It seems that one of the popular scams running now is a picture of a beautiful Filipina and she is a stewardess and she had a visa for the US and she will only contact a man in the US and she has to leave now! I hope there are not guys falling for that! You will probably be asked to send money for a ticket to Nigeria! :bash:All the women indicate that there are a lot of men playing games there as well, and I am sure that is true to a certain extent.So why did I go this route? After I moved from Germany back to the US, the job put me in Northern Kentucky. Unfortunately, the stories are true. Unless you like large obese women who smoke and care nothing about their health, the pickings here are slim. It is a sad commentary about the state of the union. It is somewhat different in other states like California, my home state, but at my age I can't afford to change jobs and try to afford living and retiring in California. So retiring in Phils seems to be a good option. Ideally, living there and meeting someone there would be the best option, but for those of us still working, that is not always practical. Internet dating offers the opportunity to do some pre-screening with the possibility of meeting someone with the qualities you desire.In any case, I may have met a winner there, so wish me luck. I'm going to meet her at Christmas when I am there. Educated, professional, conservative, late 30s, attractive, works for an American company, and from a family of professionals. Only time will tell but the odds seem good. I am not looking for a young girl. Tempting but I don't think it would work for me. I need a lot of mental stimulation as well as physical stimulation! :89: I prefer someone with life experience.

Hi everyone,Here is an update to my post above. I spent a little over 2 weeks with the above mentioned woman over Christmas and I a happy to say that my internet dating story is a happy one. :)We are making plans for the future and I hope to move over by the end of the year. If anything, she had more trepidation about internet dating than I did. She seems to think there is a stigma associated with meeting on the internet. Is that true in Phils or is it her imagination?In any case, different strokes for different folks, but I think you can use internet dating to meet a good woman. It just takes time to sift through all the crap and find the gems! :89:

[MikeB]

She seems to think there is a stigma associated with meeting on the internet. Is that true in Phils or is it her imagination?

I believe that is true because the scammer stories are well known but who cares, the important thing is you are happy, how you met doesn't matter. I met my gf the same way, glad it worked out for you.

[Old55]

Congratulations! :89:

[Tukaram (Tim)]

I used a couple web sites to try and line up a couple of girls to meet during my trip. I wanted some non bar girls to show me around town and go shopping. Not a single one I talked to asked for money. The two I ended spending time with still never asked for money. I guess they aren't all scammers. But i think the more honest you are in your profile the better results you get.But like the OP I got a ton of letters from girls that didn't even look at my profile. They just send out a generic "hey I think you might the one for me" type of message. I got the impression that most don't put much in the way of interest on the profile so when you say what you like they will amazingly like the same things. I only met 2. They were both very nice but I hit it off great with one. If I lived there I would be dating her (unless I found out she really has a husband)

[OnMyWay]

But i think the more honest you are in your profile the better results you get.

Yes, I probably had a lot of things in my profile that scared off a few nice woman and definitely some bad ones. My profile read like a job description and I acknowledged that in the profile, but I did get some really nice responses and met some nice woman. For anyone who is really serious about it, I recommend a very detailed profile.

[Mike S]

But i think the more honest you are in your profile the better results you get.

Yes, I probably had a lot of things in my profile that scared off a few nice woman and definitely some bad ones. My profile read like a job description and I acknowledged that in the profile, but I did get some really nice responses and met some nice woman. For anyone who is really serious about it, I recommend a very detailed profile.

I have been preaching this for years ..... but it just seems to fall on deaf ears ...... but you are absolutely right ....... it worked for me anyway

[Tukaram (Tim)]

But then again I've never understood all the lies that seem to go with dating. I've never been a doctor, an astronaut, or even a Playboy photographer. I have a hard enough time keeping up with the truth. If I start making crap up I'd really be confused.I think I mentioned in another thread about this that I had a few girls from all over the place writing just to say they liked the honesty in my profile. Make it clear what you are looking for and don't play games.

[jode]

Those that say that its a waste of time to get on the internet and to just come here to find their filipina miss the point . Guys get on the internet to chat with girls because they are lonely. Myself i was an approaching 60 guy who's love life had been almost non existant for many many years. To suddenly be able to go online and have numerous beautiful young women willing to fill my lonely hours with conversation and my computer screen with their lovely faces was quite the romantic renewal. I had been chatting online for a month when an unexpected opportunity to take a trip over the Christmas season made me start searching for reasonable airfares to exotic places. What came up as most reasonable was a trip to cebu. Then I started focusing on Cebuanas to chat. On dia I saw a pic of a girl so stunningly beautiful I doubted wether I should even waste time trying to chat her. Well 2 weeks before my trip I did and she seemed to really like me. Well to try to make a long story shorter, I met her with her sis at SM day after i arrived. Visited her very poor family next day and asked her father for his permission for his daughter to stay with me. Treated the family (and some neighbors) to a party. She stayed with me and she was such fun to be with. What a goof, we had a great time together although she wasn't exactly "hot" in bed. Which i put down to her young age and inexperience. After two plus weeks with her i had it as bad as it gets. I was so obsessed with her that i literally could not go a waking minute not thinking of her. I started sending her money for school although she was reluctant to ask. Probably about $300 a month. Over Easter another 3 week visit and so much fun. However, there were little instances of things happening that made me think, hey wait a minute something doesn't seem right here. One I recall was seeing a pic of her in a group photo on a friend of hers fb, taken after she met me, with her in background with a guy hanging on her and with his arm around her. She said it was a high school friends get together and an old classmate got amourous just as pic was snapped. At end of easter visit gave her engagement ring and she seemed thrilled.We started having more problems which i put down to mostly my own almost patholigical paranoia. However not as paranoid as i should have been as it turned out. Love makes one gloss over the inconsistancies and doubts. In July at my insistance, she finally admitted that she had a pinoy lover before and after she met me. I forgave her and planned a trip in August to try to make things right. But on the first day i was back here in Philippines she e-mailed me that she had decided on her pinoy lover over me. Needless to say I was crushed, terribly heartbroken, but here is an important point. As crazy as i was about her i always made sure i had backup. Within a day I had a gorgeous 18 yr old (and yes I can attest and have pics to prove it, slim bodied filipinas can have enormous natural t*t*) at my side drying my tears and comforting me. A week later I got her permission to have another beauty join us as I am a side sleeper and like to look at gorgeous no matter what side i sleep on. By the way, you can get alot of mileage out of being truly heartbroken. They will love you for your sensitivaty and loving nature. So many girls care for me to this day because they remember my heartbroken tears and thus know i am good caring man. Yes I didn't give a damn after my heartbreak and went a little overboard on the girls. I still have a weakness for young and exceptionally beautiful, and take pride in seeing that my girl is usually among the prettiest of ex-pat partners. I still have loving feeling for my ex fiancee and for almost all the girls I have been with and most still are at least friends with me. They are all so sweet and i don't begrudge them their vices and they don't begrudge me mine. The internet is wonderful for keeping in touch. On occaision maybe you two can relive hot times together when present partners not around. The one i am with now for over two years is true blue. I am truly the answer to her dreams and she treats me wonderfully. If she doesn't she knows they are lined up to take her place. She has given me my lumps (literally) on occaision, out of jelousy (guilty as charged). I have thrown her ass out more than once also when she gets too stupid. We work through things though and are both getting better. Four decades younger can still be a great partner and she is so gorgeous. I love her alot, but I keep the power. It seems the stories of guys relationships here are almost always tales of them gradually handing more and more power and control to their partners. By buying houses, businesses ect in their partners or her families name. Being in a hurry to get married and usually ending up eventually living in their partners hometown surrounded by her relatives. Think! do u treally want to do all that? Gradually giving over all power to them? So many horror stories of what happens to many who do that. Maybe that is what ruined women back home. Us stupid romantic slobs doing so much for them out of love and ending up with a self-centered domineering bi&&h, Remember the power in any relationship is held by the one who cares the least. Which partner cares the least when you have bought her family the nice home and business they always wanted and know you spent all your reserves doing it? And she has been elevated to a social and economic status that makes her look good to all young handsome pinoys? Which partner cares the least when he can pack his suitcase and be gone in an hour with no financial lose and the eager arms of a beauty awaiting him. I know that flies in the face of all romantic sentiment, but you know romance is all the sweeter when you know the worst that can happen is short lived heartache and not complete ruin. Who really gets a womans juices flowing? Some self-assured, confident, always on top strong man, or some poor lovestruck fool who she can make do anything she wants and thus loses respect for? Who can love a complete fool?Diverged from topic and got to rambling but i say, yes go ahead enjoy yourself online. Be the romantic, its so much fun with women as lovely and sweet as Filipinas. But don't forget to watch out for number one. She will love and respect you more if you do.Get all her passwords and e-mails and make sure she erases nothing. Go over her past chats in chatsites with other guys. Play her online and tell her chatmates that you are actually a ladyboy or let them down in any way you think is appropriate. With a couple who were serious with her I had a man to man, and told them sorry buddy but she is with me now, and even felt bad at one aussies genuine pain at hearing that. Know everything about her past foreigner (just one in her case) and all about him and their relationship. Have a timeline of her life and fill in all the blanks (alot easier when they are young).Let her have all your passwords for fb , yahoo, e-mail ect. like she has given you? No of course not! Your not stupid, and Remember you have the power! You want fair and equal ok then, she has to contribute equally financially in everything. If you are the money source you have to be sure of your investment. She will understand and go along with that logic. If she doesn't someone else will. Remember there are thousands and anyone who thinks there is only one woman meant for them in this world is lost in dreamland.